u/Mangopapayakiwi

Yesterday someone left this sort of comment under a post here. They had trained their 7 months old (or something) to sleep 6 to 6 plus 2 naps. But the comment that always sticks with me is the one about st changing a child’s temperament. Turning a fussy baby into a happy baby. You can guess I had a fussy baby who has now turned into a so called “deeply feeling” toddler. She is happier as a toddler but still very high needs and hyper. Waaaaay ahead with her gross motor skills since birth basically, not in a brag way it’s been crazy and at times worrying.

Of course as parenrs we worry we have caused our children to suffer. Thinking responding to her at night is what might have caused her personality makes little sense to me, but the idea she is really a happy, chill child who has simply not been sleep trIned is quite a mad thought.

Anyone in this boat? What do you think?

My almost 17mo has been through a lot with her sleep. She was an amazing sleeper until 6/7 months. Slept throgh the night most of month 5/6, one wake up from month 3, two wake ups from birth. From 7 to 13 months sleep mostly sucked, with some better weeks here and there. At 14 months she fully dropped to one nap and that seemed to help. We were away for a month in July and she mostly slept pretty well.

The last few weeks, probably a month, sleep has sucked. She has slept through the night maybe twice. She has had nights of screaming, nights of crying, and is currently whining a lot. She is fully weaned, fully bedsharing, napping usually around 2 hours max after lunch. She is not actively teething atm as fare as I can see.

What brings me down is that she is pretty tongue tied, and I worry this is what stops her from sleeping well. She also has developed some skin issues since weaning at one, and her digestion can be wonky (lots of indigested food and loose stools). Obviously the doctors are not worried cause she growing super well, doesn’t seem to have allergies per se. I am aware I could pay some holistic therapist but I am really not sure about it.

She is also going through a leap with her language skills atm.

Anyone else going through something similar?

So in general I feel very firm and confident in my choice to not sleep train. It’s not part of my culture or ethos anyway, none of my friends or family have done it, I am good. But then I read some influencer or someone in my bump group going “I did modified ferber for a few days, she cried for 20 minutes and never woke up at night ever again”. That makes me go, “am I dumb not to do that? Cause it sounds good”. Too good to be true possibly? My baby is not a content baby and she has cried for 20 minutes while I was actively trying to put her down before. She was a great sleeper as a younger baby but we have hit every regression hard since six months. She slept through that night at five months so sometimes I wonder if I did something wrong to ruin it 🤪

So last week on a whin I tried my 13 months old in her room alone. She slept for more than 8 hours in a row 😱 however, dear readers, that was a fluke. The following nights I had to join her between midnight and three am. By the end of the week I was very sleep deprived, between wathing the monitor and running to her room. My partner took over one night but he was not able to soothe her so I had to deal with it.

Last night I just put her in my bed again. She had a bad wake up which definitely involved pain of some sort, she only went back to sleep with medicine. Today we slept in until 8.30. I feel more rested already. This girl is fully weaned from milk but has airway issues (hence the not nursing).

My baby is 13.5 months old, has coslept since day one in one way or another, mostly bedsharing from five months on. I know people worry a lot about ruining their baby.

Last night I tried her in her room for the first time by herself. The night before I slept with her here on her double floor bed.

She went to bed at 9.30 (we are night owls) and woke up at 5.49! That’s more than 8 hours 😱 she is fully weaned but we have had so many ups and down with sleep in her life, especially in the last six months.

Maybe it’s just a fluke but I wanted to encourage other parents. It’s not forever, they grow up so fast 🥹😭

I started exclusively pumping after having a really traumatic time nursing for the first six weeks. My baby had oral disfunction, lots of horrible crying fits, only ever fed with a nipple shield. She developed breast aversion and that was it for us. It was one of the hardest experiences of my life, for sure.

I exclusively pumped for her for almost 12 months, from 6 weeks pp to almost 13 months. I had an oversupply I did not particularly enjoy bur was also grateful for. I got lucky with pumping in many ways.

I stopped pumping earlier this month, it took me two months to slowly wean. Weaning was really hard on me mentally and I guess hormonally. 4 weeks later I can finally say I am stoked to be done pumping! I am still getting used to the freedom.

I do feel a lot sadness about my journey. I will say that if you are worried pumping is making you a more tired, less patient, less happy mom, it’s a great reason to stop. Looking back I really hope pumping did not take anything away from my girl. It definitely took a lot out of me. Very complicated feelings!

I struggle to feel proud of my pumping journey cause it was not what I wanted, it was mostly down to luck and also I am not sure it was the best thing for my family. But I am proud of all of you pumping moms and really encourage you to take care of yourself, because you absolutely matter.

So I am from Italy and every so often I like to report about the sleep training epidemic in my country. At the moment there is a big instagram debate where anti sleep training professionals (psychologists and lactation people mainly) are talking about babies being resigned not self soothing.

The sleep training coaches are now rebutting saying that babies actually gain self esteem from the ability to fall asleep alone and putting themselves back to sleep. Self esteem. These are people who send their children to montessori school, which I find interesting. It’s almost like they think sleep training is montessori inspired? Help babies do it themselves? What would Maria think?

As a parent of course for a second I thought “oh no am I destroying my baby’s self esteem cause I put her to sleep?”. Which is crazy of course! This lady is a grimms playroom, slow children fashion, montessori school mom which to me does not really scream “sleep coach” but actually some sleep training moms I know in Italy send their kids are waldorf educated and send their kids to steiner school too. Interesting and disturbing!