u/MarzipanBest2991

I need advice about a complicated situation involving my past relationship and my current partner.

I grew up in a very homophobic environment where queer people often have to hide their sexuality. When I was 17, I was in a queer relationship with someone I’ll call A. The relationship was very confusing and unhealthy in many ways, and we both did things that were wrong. Eventually, I ended the relationship and completely cut contact with A.

Now, it’s 4 years later and dating someone I’ll call B. A and B were already close friends before I knew either of them. B is now my partner, and we’re in a very serious relationship. We talk about our future together, and I genuinely care about B and our relationship.

The problem is that B has no idea that A and I ever dated. As far as I know, B also doesn’t know that A is queer. B is still in the closet as far as I know, and they’re also very religious, which makes the situation even more complicated.

At first, I didn’t feel like I had the right to tell B about A’s sexuality because that information isn’t mine to reveal. I still feel that way. However, I’m terrified that A might tell B about our past relationship someday, especially because A and B are close friends.

My biggest fear is that if B finds out that I dated A before them, they might see me differently, hate me, or even break up with me because I didn’t tell them earlier. I’m also scared that B might ask me questions about my relationship with A that I don’t want to answer, especially if answering honestly could reveal A’s sexuality.

I don’t know whether I should tell B about my past with A, keep it private because it happened before our relationship, or somehow address the situation without revealing A’s sexuality.

I’m struggling to separate what I actually owe B as my partner from what I believe is A’s right to keep their sexuality private. I also don’t know whether keeping this information to myself would be considered hiding something important from B, or whether this is simply something from my past that I’m not obligated to disclose.

#homophopia #idkwhattodo #help #rls

I need advice about a complicated situation involving my past relationship and my current partner.

I grew up in a very homophobic environment where queer people often have to hide their sexuality. When I was 17, I was in a queer relationship with someone I’ll call A. The relationship was very confusing and unhealthy in many ways, and we both did things that were wrong. Eventually, I ended the relationship and completely cut contact with A.

Now, it’s 4 years later and dating someone I’ll call B. A and B were already close friends before I knew either of them. B is now my partner, and we’re in a very serious relationship. We talk about our future together, and I genuinely care about B and our relationship.

The problem is that B has no idea that A and I ever dated. As far as I know, B also doesn’t know that A is queer. B is still in the closet as far as I know, and they’re also very religious, which makes the situation even more complicated.

At first, I didn’t feel like I had the right to tell B about A’s sexuality because that information isn’t mine to reveal. I still feel that way. However, I’m terrified that A might tell B about our past relationship someday, especially because A and B are close friends.

My biggest fear is that if B finds out that I dated A before them, they might see me differently, hate me, or even break up with me because I didn’t tell them earlier. I’m also scared that B might ask me questions about my relationship with A that I don’t want to answer, especially if answering honestly could reveal A’s sexuality.

I don’t know whether I should tell B about my past with A, keep it private because it happened before our relationship, or somehow address the situation without revealing A’s sexuality.

I’m struggling to separate what I actually owe B as my partner from what I believe is A’s right to keep their sexuality private. I also don’t know whether keeping this information to myself would be considered hiding something important from B, or whether this is simply something from my past that I’m not obligated to disclose.

#homophopia #idkwhattodo #help #rls