u/Mediocre_Cattle_5416

I grew up in Boston until I was 10, then moved to Miami with my mom and her new boyfriend. That's when everything started to change.

My family was never perfect. I was raised by a single mom for most of my childhood, and we were always low income. Even after my mom got married and had five more kids, money was always tight. I was the only child who wasn't my stepdad's, and I always felt like the black sheep of the family.

I wasn't a bad kid. I was just looking for a way out. More than anything, I wanted someone I could trust and depend on.

When I got to high school, I decided I was going to build a different life for myself. I earned a full-ride scholarship to a university in Massachusetts. At the same time, I worked 20 hours a week at McDonald's, and nearly every paycheck went toward helping my family pay bills because I was the only one working. I also picked up side jobs moving furniture, cutting grass, and hauling away junk whenever I could.

When I was 15, I started dating an 18-year-old woman I met through an after-school tutoring program. A few months later, she became pregnant. I had spent years dreaming about finally having my own life, but instead I was hit with responsibilities I wasn't ready for.

At 16, I was forced out of my home and became emancipated. I moved back to Boston to live with relatives while preparing for college. Around that same time, my daughter's mother dropped our daughter off with me and disappeared.

At 18, I started college while raising my daughter by myself. I went to class during the day and worked nights at a 24-hour restaurant, usually from 6 p.m. to 2 a.m. during the week and most weekends. I managed to keep it together for a while, but by my third year I was exhausted.

I started coping in all the wrong ways. I overate, drank, smoked, and slept with anyone who gave me attention because, looking back, I think I was desperate to feel wanted. Eventually, I contracted HSV, and it sent me into a depression I wasn't prepared for.

I dropped out of college. I quit my job. Eventually, I found a dead-end office job making about $50,000 a year with little opportunity to move up.

Now I'm 26, and I feel completely stuck.

What hurts almost as much as everything else is my family. My mom and stepdad eventually went back to school, built successful careers, and now make around $200,000 a year together. When I was growing up, I was the only one working, making maybe $20,000–30,000 a year, and most of it went toward helping support the household. Now they won't even return my calls.

I spend a lot of time wondering who I would've become if I'd had a normal childhood. If I hadn't spent my teenage years worrying about bills, helping raise my siblings, and just trying to survive. Maybe I would've finished college. Maybe I'd have a career instead of just a job. Maybe I'd have made different choices. Maybe I'd be a completely different person.

What I regret most isn't one single mistake. It's feeling like I never really had the chance to just be a kid. It feels like I've spent my whole life surviving instead of actually living.

I love my daughter more than anything, and I have never regretted her. I regret becoming a father before I was ready. I regret dropping out of college. I regret the unhealthy ways I tried to cope. And I regret growing up in an environment where I always felt like I had to carry more than a kid should I feel like I've already lived several lifetimes. I don't know what the future looks like anymore. I just know I needed to get this off my chest, and maybe hear from someone who's felt the same way.

My leg after 24 hours with a nicotine patch on

Strip clubs story kinda gross

SHOULD I BE WORRIED ABOUT CORE 3?

A life with many regrets