u/MikeLV

Just need a place to vent and share my father’s background with dementia.

My father is 77 years old and a widow for over 2 years, he was married to his wife (my mother) for 50 years. I would say about a year or two before my mother passed we all started to notice my father slowing down, getting a little confused, had to repeat instructions, my mom was getting frustrated and concerned.

The first year after my mother died my father, living on his own was doing OK. He was able to pay the bills, go food shopping, and maintain the household. I was getting concerned about his cognitive abilities so we started to see a neurologist. During the appointment he struggled with the memory test, had some testing, and a MRI which only showed a very minor stroke occurred a few weeks prior to the MRI. The neurologist wasn’t much help, they scheduled a neuropsychologist appointment a year out because supposedly Nevada has like 3 licensed in the whole state.

Fast forward to a few months ago, March 2026 and I receive a phone call from our local police department. My dad called the cops because he believes homeless people are living in his home. Of course there was no sign of a break in or people living in the house. The hallucinations started to become common, of course I would argue with him (which I later learned is not a good idea) about the existence of the homeless people. A few weeks gone by and the hallucinations got worse, they were happening during the day, his neighbors would call me that my dad would wander the neighborhood at night with possibly a hammer in his hand looking for the supposed person that would allow the homeless people to stay in his house. Eventually I was able to take his car away from him, but things got worse quickly. My father stopped picking up the phone, he would say the phone is evil, not take his medications, and wasn’t eating or drinking regularly. One day I picked him up for an appointment to tour an assisted living facility. When he opened the door he was bleeding from his chin, I asked him “what happened” he said he fell. He then yelled at me that there wasn’t any water or food in the house because I took away the car, of course there was plenty of food and water.
So we went to the hospital (cancelled the tour). The doctors asked me if he had a dementia diagnosis, I said “no, we’re waiting for one.” A head CT scan showed fresh blood on his brain from the fall and old blood from a previous fall that I wasn’t aware of at all.

Continuing on, my father was in the hospital for about 5 days, discharged to a nursing home for less than 3 weeks while I was in the process of finding a memory care facility. Luckily, I found a place immediately and he was moved there. He’s been in the memory care facility for less than 3 weeks and so far he’s adapting slowly. But in the long run I’m in the process of running his finances, clearing out his home to sell it, hopefully I’m seeing a light at the end of the tunnel with this whole situation. Thanks for letting me share my story, this has been a very helpful and supportive group.