You see, when Alcina Dimitrescu and her three daughters, Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela, died in the other world, the last thing they expected was to be reborn in the world of My Hero Academia, which in their world was a piece of fiction.

What they really didn't expect was to be reborn in one of Daniela's AU fanfics where they were reborn as Izuku Midoriya's quirk, but here they are.

Izuku himself had never expected to awaken a quirk, not only because he truly believed himself to be quirkless, but also because he wasn't human at all.

He is an eldritch abomination of umphantomable power, but the quirk he does not have is called the King in Green, because it forces Izuku to wear a long hooded robe and mask, because it is the only way he is visible.

Without the robe and the mask, his form is inconceivable, and sentient minds simply refuse to acknowledge it; it's not like he is invisible like Hagakure. Is it that the collective subconsciousness of every intelligent being in the world does not compute him, just like your brain can see your nose but edits it out to not hinder your vision?

If he is wearing just the mask, all you can see of him is a floating mask, and if you look at his face when he is wearing the hood but not the mask, you are hit full force by eldritch insanity and go completely mad.

When he is wearing his robes and mask, he can be described as a bag of tentacles; he is a tentacle monster, not like Shoji, who has a heteromorphic quirk that gives him tentacles. Izuku is a roughly human-shaped mass of wriggling tentacles with no end or beginning. He is also the gateway to a non-Euclidean pocket dimension of madness he rules, and he can and will swallow people into it by using his tentacles to drag them under his robes, just like Raven did to Dr. Light in the Teen Titans. He can also devour minds mid-flayer style, but that's neither here nor there.

He has all the powers you would associate with an eldritch being, but the ones he sticks to are umbrakinesis, which allows him to create and command shadows, which he uses as portals. He can move through shadows; he reaches things through shadows, and he can use the shadows as a door to his limbo of madness dimension, which is called Carcosa, the realm of eternity and madness where he rules as king.

As you can guess, he underestimated what kind of universe he was on, because in this universe, he did have a quirk, but his quirk was a cunt that required a very specific activation requirement.

His quirk, the real quirk, is called Dimitrescu's Legacy and activated when he inherits his grandma's vineyard.

When his quirk activated, it materialized everything: Dimitrescu, the castle, the vineyard, and above all, the Dimitrescus themselves.

Upon being reborn as Quirk users, Alcina and her daughter noticed a few things that match Bela's fanfic.

First, they did not need to consume blood anymore or keep themselves healthy. Second, Bela, Daniela, and Cassandra are no longer weak to the cold, meaning they won't die in the cold anymore. Third, if they die, they will respawn in their rooms at the castle. And last but not least, they are compelled to obey Izuku; after all, they are his quirk.

The one thing that does not match the fanfic is that Izuku is not a soft and shy femboy that likes being pegged by his quirk; instead, he is a tentacle monster, an eldritch abomination of unfathomable power, but oh well.

Anyway, three weeks into having his new quirk in, Izuku can say two things: first, that he really enjoys Alcina's company. She is an amazing woman, elegant, highly cultured, and able to have good conversation for days, and above all, she has impeccable taste in music and has a great singing voice.

The second is that her daughters are absolute gremlins and little shits that can and will get in trouble any chance they get.

The thing is, he is a tentacle monster living in a castle with a nine-foot-six MILF and her three daughters, which is fertile ground for all the dirty jokes you can imagine. The only reason things aren't more weird is because this isn't an Addams Family crossover fic, because an eldritch tentacle monster living in a castle with a giant vampire MILF and her three daughters made of bugs screams Addams Family.

Izuku is half expecting to wake up one day to Gomez knocking on the front door to invite him to a friendly fencing match.

I am writing a My Hero Academia x Justice League fic where Izuku got Isekai'd and came back with a literal galaxy.

To understand what I am asking about, the general vision of the galaxy itself needs to be given and also why Izuku does not open it to the outside world.

The Midoriyan Reach

The Reach is a galaxy that appeared spontaneously adjacent to the Milky Way, comprising ten thousand self-replicating planets (each one hundred thousand times the size of Earth) arranged into one hundred solar systems of ten planets each. Each planet is encased in a Dyson sphere and possesses two moons. The entire galaxy operates on infinite, infinitely renewable resources—energy readings show no decrease or weakening, indicating the Reach will never face scarcity.

Key Features:

• The Arks: Massive flower-shaped constructs (eight arms surrounding a central crucible) that serve as manufactories, space stations, and military bases. They contain habitable habitats and can strip-mine and self-renew planets in an endless cycle.
• Self-Replication: The solar systems can spontaneously multiply—splitting like living cells (one sun becomes two and ten planets become twenty)—with ships immediately swarming the new systems to build Dyson spheres around them.
• Technology: The Reach possesses faster-than-light travel capable of crossing the galaxy in a single second, a fleet of ships with enough firepower to glass solar systems (the smallest can comfortably carry all the Americas, Russia, and China with room to spare), and a state-of-the-art teleportation system that is "consequence-free instantaneous."
• Security: The entire Reach is shielded against all forms of teleportation (Zeta tubes, Boom tubes, etc.), and nothing enters or leaves without the Reach's knowledge. Probes are detected and neutralized before reaching any planet.
• Peaceful Resolutions: The name given to the recycling facilities where waste—and other "problems"—are broken down to base atoms and rearranged into useful materials.

The governance is hierarchical: planetary courts elect system courts, which elect subsector courts, which elect sector courts, culminating in the Council of Races comprising the High Kings of each species (except the Men of Iron and Goblins, who are direct vassals). The Royal Sector contains the "Ten Thousand Crown Jewels" (the original worlds), with Midoriyan Prime serving as the Throne World.

The Races of the Reach

Elves

Seven-foot-tall beings of "estatesque beauty with curves for days," masters of arcane magic and craftsmanship that "would make gods weep." "They are functionally immortal. Their pregnancies last fifteen months, rarely producing more than one child who takes one hundred years to reach the human equivalent of their early twenties (aging normally for the first twelve years, then slowing drastically). Due to low birth rates, they practice polygamy and are immune to inbreeding. They have hereditary royal families.

Goblins

Three-foot-nothing beings of "shamelessness, high spirits, vulgarity, and curves that defy common sense and physics." They are short-lived, dying of old age at thirty-five. Their pregnancies last only four months, producing up to six babies at once, with mothers ready to conceive again within a week—allowing for up to twenty-four babies per year. They reach maturity in eight months.

They suffer from Goblin Sudden Death Disease (GSDD), where at any moment a goblin may simply drop dead (heart stops, brain ceases). They embrace this mortality, viewing shame and inhibitions as "useless as a wet noodle in a swordfight." They are the main fuel for the recycling facilities and threatened to revolt when Izuku suggested giving their dead proper funeral rites instead of recycling them. They are vassals of everyone else because they cannot be bothered with governance paperwork.

Squats

Stocky, stubborn, sturdy clone-born dwarves standing five feet tall. Culturally, they are divided between Gene Fathers (who operate the crucibles, maintaining genetic vaults and tailoring clone batches chromosome by chromosome) and Rune Mothers (priests who commune with ancestor gods—Grungni, Grimni, and Valaya).

Eighty percent of squats are clone-born (artificial organic life rather than copies), while twenty percent reproduce sexually. They wear tunics with brutalist geometric patterns and have long braided hair (women) or beards reaching past their knees adorned with rings (men). They can be elected as rulers or "made" by the Council of Elders.

Men of Iron

Automatons from the "Golden Age of Technology," ranging from seven to nine feet tall, of sleek metal (bronze and gunmetal). They are beings of technology so advanced it is indistinguishable from magic. They do not eat, do not sleep, and view everything outside their duty directives as a "hobby." They are direct vassals of the king, having refused self-governance multiple times, and serve as the police force alongside Squats in power armor.

Halflings

A new race (first generation, twenty-five years old as a species) was created from interbreeding between elves and goblins. They stand five feet to five feet two with short pointy ears and freckles regardless of skin tone. Men have delicate, feminine frames with heart-shaped faces and wide hips; women are athletic hourglasses.

They age like humans until twenty, then slow down, enjoying a 250-year lifespan without GSDD. Pregnancies last nine months, usually producing twins. They can reproduce with elves or goblins (producing only elf or goblin offspring), which has helped boost the elven population. They are currently vassals of the elves but approaching the threshold to elect their own kings and gain a seat on the Council of Races.

Izuku's Reasoning and Stance on Closed Borders

Izuku maintains an absolute isolationist policy, refusing to open borders for commerce, cultural exchange, migration, or humanitarian aid. His stance is rooted in traumatic experience from his thirty-year quest in the isekai world, where he learned that "paradise attracts parasites the same way power invites challenges."

The Refugee Cycle (The "Six-Month" Problem)

Initially a "bleeding heart," Izuku opened his borders to refugees in the other world. They swore eternal gratitude, but every six months like clockwork, they would revolt and attempt to usurp his crown using the technology and resources he provided. His subjects have "no chill"—without his interference, they would march every refugee "feet first into the atomizers" (Peaceful Resolutions). He spent twenty-five years of his thirty-year quest constantly returning from battle to prevent his people from committing genocide against ungrateful refugees who kept trying to betray him.

The Corruption of Charity

After closing his borders to refugees, Izuku attempted direct humanitarian aid:

• Via Local Governance: He supplied villages with food and medicine, trusting local churches to distribute it. Instead, warlords hoarded the supplies, sold them for gold, and joined the Demon Lord's forces.
• Via Direct Distribution: His people attempted to distribute resources directly. The recipients revolted, outraged that a "foreign power" controlled the means of survival rather than their corrupt local government.

After cutting off all aid and focusing solely on his quest, he completed it in five years without interruption.

Protection Through Exclusion

Izuku keeps borders closed to protect both sides:

• Protecting the Reach: He knows Earth would not send "their best"—they would send "scum, their greedy, their entitled, their criminals, thieves, scammers, murderers, rapists, and pedophiles." "His people" do not house, feed, or rehabilitate scum; they recycle it.
• Protecting Earth: He explicitly states he is protecting Earth's people from his own subjects. Without his moderation, his people would slaughter any problematic immigrants entirely.

He envisions the inevitable scenario: refugees arrive, discover infinite resources still require work to access, and revolt when told they cannot reap harvests they did not sow, forcing him to intervene to limit bloodshed to "only the instigators and ring leaders," followed by UN condemnation and sanctions that mean nothing because the Reach is a closed system.

Diplomatic Reality

Izuku distinguishes between the Justice League (potential friends/allies) and the UN ("parasites," "vultures"). He is willing to sign a non-aggression treaty and build friendships but absolutely refuses any "greater good" arguments about sharing resources. He references his recent treaty with Thanagar—signed after they attempted invasion and faced the threat of being "de-evolved back to when their ancestors were still swimming in the primordial ooze"—as the template for relations: peaceful coexistence through strength, not charity.

Long story short, Izuku is sitting on a treasure trove of infinite wealth, and he is not willing to share it, not out of greed, but out of trauma. He's been burned one too many times, and as the saying goes, once bitten, twice shy.

Basically speaking, the Thanagar government in my fic wants to sink their claws into the Reach, but thanks to the fact the Reach is closed for business and has no different Darkseid forces like they were nothing, they decide to go through another route.

They know Izuku has a friendly relationship with the League, so they want to use Shayera as a key to the reach. Their plan is to have her try and weasel her way into gaining Izuku's trust and convincing him to open the Reach to diplomatic and commercial relations with Thanagar so they can gain a foothold in the Reach.

Or, and that's the part that gets me confused, seduce Izuku to have a Thanagarian heir to the throne as a plan B.

Basically speaking, they want Shayera to either seduce Izuku or be a wingwoman (pun not intended) to help put a Thanagarian as the queen of the Reach because, as far as they know, Izuku does not have a queen.

The plan B is to get a Thanagarian woman as Izuku's queen, and when they have produced heirs, Izuku would suffer an unfortunate hunting accident and tragically pass away, Robert Baratheon style.

With him dead, the crown goes to his heir, meaning a Thanagarian heir would sit on the throne and the Reach would belong to Thanagar.

The thing is, in the animated series, Thanagar uses deception, but I don't know if this level of deception would be believable.

and also, would the League in general respect Izuku's stance on keeping his galaxy closed?

I am writing a My Hero Academia x Justice League fic where Izuku got Isekai'd and came back with a literal galaxy.

To understand what I am asking about, the general vision of the galaxy itself needs to be given and also why Izuku does not open it to the outside world.

The Midoriyan Reach

The Reach is a galaxy that appeared spontaneously adjacent to the Milky Way, comprising ten thousand self-replicating planets (each one hundred thousand times the size of Earth) arranged into one hundred solar systems of ten planets each. Each planet is encased in a Dyson sphere and possesses two moons. The entire galaxy operates on infinite, infinitely renewable resources—energy readings show no decrease or weakening, indicating the Reach will never face scarcity.

Key Features:

• The Arks: Massive flower-shaped constructs (eight arms surrounding a central crucible) that serve as manufactories, space stations, and military bases. They contain habitable habitats and can strip-mine and self-renew planets in an endless cycle.
• Self-Replication: The solar systems can spontaneously multiply—splitting like living cells (one sun becomes two and ten planets become twenty)—with ships immediately swarming the new systems to build Dyson spheres around them.
• Technology: The Reach possesses faster-than-light travel capable of crossing the galaxy in a single second, a fleet of ships with enough firepower to glass solar systems (the smallest can comfortably carry all the Americas, Russia, and China with room to spare), and a state-of-the-art teleportation system that is "consequence-free instantaneous."
• Security: The entire Reach is shielded against all forms of teleportation (Zeta tubes, Boom tubes, etc.), and nothing enters or leaves without the Reach's knowledge. Probes are detected and neutralized before reaching any planet.
• Peaceful Resolutions: The name given to the recycling facilities where waste—and other "problems"—are broken down to base atoms and rearranged into useful materials.

The governance is hierarchical: planetary courts elect system courts, which elect subsector courts, which elect sector courts, culminating in the Council of Races comprising the High Kings of each species (except the Men of Iron and Goblins, who are direct vassals). The Royal Sector contains the "Ten Thousand Crown Jewels" (the original worlds), with Midoriyan Prime serving as the Throne World.

The Races of the Reach

Elves

Seven-foot-tall beings of "estatesque beauty with curves for days," masters of arcane magic and craftsmanship that "would make gods weep." "They are functionally immortal. Their pregnancies last fifteen months, rarely producing more than one child who takes one hundred years to reach the human equivalent of their early twenties (aging normally for the first twelve years, then slowing drastically). Due to low birth rates, they practice polygamy and are immune to inbreeding. They have hereditary royal families.

Goblins

Three-foot-nothing beings of "shamelessness, high spirits, vulgarity, and curves that defy common sense and physics." They are short-lived, dying of old age at thirty-five. Their pregnancies last only four months, producing up to six babies at once, with mothers ready to conceive again within a week—allowing for up to twenty-four babies per year. They reach maturity in eight months.

They suffer from Goblin Sudden Death Disease (GSDD), where at any moment a goblin may simply drop dead (heart stops, brain ceases). They embrace this mortality, viewing shame and inhibitions as "useless as a wet noodle in a swordfight." They are the main fuel for the recycling facilities and threatened to revolt when Izuku suggested giving their dead proper funeral rites instead of recycling them. They are vassals of everyone else because they cannot be bothered with governance paperwork.

Squats

Stocky, stubborn, sturdy clone-born dwarves standing five feet tall. Culturally, they are divided between Gene Fathers (who operate the crucibles, maintaining genetic vaults and tailoring clone batches chromosome by chromosome) and Rune Mothers (priests who commune with ancestor gods—Grungni, Grimni, and Valaya).

Eighty percent of squats are clone-born (artificial organic life rather than copies), while twenty percent reproduce sexually. They wear tunics with brutalist geometric patterns and have long braided hair (women) or beards reaching past their knees adorned with rings (men). They can be elected as rulers or "made" by the Council of Elders.

Men of Iron

Automatons from the "Golden Age of Technology," ranging from seven to nine feet tall, of sleek metal (bronze and gunmetal). They are beings of technology so advanced it is indistinguishable from magic. They do not eat, do not sleep, and view everything outside their duty directives as a "hobby." They are direct vassals of the king, having refused self-governance multiple times, and serve as the police force alongside Squats in power armor.

Halflings

A new race (first generation, twenty-five years old as a species) was created from interbreeding between elves and goblins. They stand five feet to five feet two with short pointy ears and freckles regardless of skin tone. Men have delicate, feminine frames with heart-shaped faces and wide hips; women are athletic hourglasses.

They age like humans until twenty, then slow down, enjoying a 250-year lifespan without GSDD. Pregnancies last nine months, usually producing twins. They can reproduce with elves or goblins (producing only elf or goblin offspring), which has helped boost the elven population. They are currently vassals of the elves but approaching the threshold to elect their own kings and gain a seat on the Council of Races.

Izuku's Reasoning and Stance on Closed Borders

Izuku maintains an absolute isolationist policy, refusing to open borders for commerce, cultural exchange, migration, or humanitarian aid. His stance is rooted in traumatic experience from his thirty-year quest in the isekai world, where he learned that "paradise attracts parasites the same way power invites challenges."

The Refugee Cycle (The "Six-Month" Problem)

Initially a "bleeding heart," Izuku opened his borders to refugees in the other world. They swore eternal gratitude, but every six months like clockwork, they would revolt and attempt to usurp his crown using the technology and resources he provided. His subjects have "no chill"—without his interference, they would march every refugee "feet first into the atomizers" (Peaceful Resolutions). He spent twenty-five years of his thirty-year quest constantly returning from battle to prevent his people from committing genocide against ungrateful refugees who kept trying to betray him.

The Corruption of Charity

After closing his borders to refugees, Izuku attempted direct humanitarian aid:

• Via Local Governance: He supplied villages with food and medicine, trusting local churches to distribute it. Instead, warlords hoarded the supplies, sold them for gold, and joined the Demon Lord's forces.
• Via Direct Distribution: His people attempted to distribute resources directly. The recipients revolted, outraged that a "foreign power" controlled the means of survival rather than their corrupt local government.

After cutting off all aid and focusing solely on his quest, he completed it in five years without interruption.

Protection Through Exclusion

Izuku keeps borders closed to protect both sides:

• Protecting the Reach: He knows Earth would not send "their best"—they would send "scum, their greedy, their entitled, their criminals, thieves, scammers, murderers, rapists, and pedophiles." "His people" do not house, feed, or rehabilitate scum; they recycle it.
• Protecting Earth: He explicitly states he is protecting Earth's people from his own subjects. Without his moderation, his people would slaughter any problematic immigrants entirely.

He envisions the inevitable scenario: refugees arrive, discover infinite resources still require work to access, and revolt when told they cannot reap harvests they did not sow, forcing him to intervene to limit bloodshed to "only the instigators and ring leaders," followed by UN condemnation and sanctions that mean nothing because the Reach is a closed system.

Diplomatic Reality

Izuku distinguishes between the Justice League (potential friends/allies) and the UN ("parasites," "vultures"). He is willing to sign a non-aggression treaty and build friendships but absolutely refuses any "greater good" arguments about sharing resources. He references his recent treaty with Thanagar—signed after they attempted invasion and faced the threat of being "de-evolved back to when their ancestors were still swimming in the primordial ooze"—as the template for relations: peaceful coexistence through strength, not charity.

Long story short, Izuku is sitting on a treasure trove of infinite wealth, and he is not willing to share it, not out of greed, but out of trauma. He's been burned one too many times, and as the saying goes, once bitten, twice shy.

Basically speaking, the Thanagar government in my fic wants to sink their claws into the Reach, but thanks to the fact the Reach is closed for business and has no different Darkseid forces like they were nothing, they decide to go through another route.

They know Izuku has a friendly relationship with the League, so they want to use Shayera as a key to the reach. Their plan is to have her try and weasel her way into gaining Izuku's trust and convincing him to open the Reach to diplomatic and commercial relations with Thanagar so they can gain a foothold in the Reach.

Or, and that's the part that gets me confused, seduce Izuku to have a Thanagarian heir to the throne as a plan B.

Basically speaking, they want Shayera to either seduce Izuku or be a wingwoman (pun not intended) to help put a Thanagarian as the queen of the Reach because, as far as they know, Izuku does not have a queen.

The plan B is to get a Thanagarian woman as Izuku's queen, and when they have produced heirs, Izuku would suffer an unfortunate hunting accident and tragically pass away, Robert Baratheon style.

With him dead, the crown goes to his heir, meaning a Thanagarian heir would sit on the throne and the Reach would belong to Thanagar.

The thing is, in the animated series, Thanagar uses deception, but I don't know if this level of deception would be believable.

Rickard Stark should have been more cautious when he prayed to the Old Gods before his wedding night, asking for his firstborn to be a son, a strong one, because the gods heard him and answered his prayers. Unfortunately for him, the gods who answered him were the old ones, at least not the Old Gods he knew, because when Lyarra got pregnant, the nightmare she gave birth to wasn't human.

His name was Brandon, and he was an eldritch abomination of umphantomable power, a being who has to wear a long hooded robe and mask because it is the only way he is visible.

Without the robe and the mask, his form is inconceivable, and sentient minds simply refuse to acknowledge it; it's not like he is invisible in the conventional way where light bends around him. Is it that the collective subconsciousness of every intelligent being in the world does not compute him, just like your brain can see your nose but edits it out to not hinder your vision?

If he is wearing just the mask, all you can see of him is a floating mask, and if you look at his face when he is wearing the hood but not the mask, you are hit full force by eldritch insanity and go completely mad.

When he is wearing his robes and mask, he can be described as a bag of tentacles; he is a tentacle monster. Brandon is a roughly human-shaped mass of wriggling tentacles with no end or beginning.

He is also the gateway to a non-Euclidean pocket dimension of madness he rules, and he can and will swallow people into it by using his tentacles to drag them under his robes, just like Raven did to Dr. Light in the Teen Titans. He can also devour minds mid-flayer style, but that's neither here nor there.

He has all the powers you would associate with an eldritch being, but the ones he sticks to are umbrakinesis, which allows him to create and command shadows, which he uses as portals. He can move through shadows; he reaches things through shadows, and he can use the shadows as a door to his limbo of madness dimension, which is called Carcosa, the realm of eternity and madness where he rules as king.

He also likes sea shanties; he sings them in his free time or when he is doing chores, singing them by himself, which is both amazing and terrifying because he is singing both the call and the response, as he is a one-man choir. The scariest part is that the response comes in many, many different voices, and every time his calls are answered, the number of voices increases.

When Rickard Stark first saw Brandom, or more precisely when he didn't see him until he was swaddled in grey robes and a mask after the sight of his face drove the midwife insane, he wanted to kill it with fire, but Lyarra convinced him not to. Instead Bran was confined to the crypts, to forever live there in his grey robes amongst the dead Starks, a shame that would never see the light of day.

His existence was a well-hidden secret only the Starks of Winterfell knew, for the outside world, Rockard Stark's firstborn child was stillborn; for the Starks, Bran was the thing that loved in the dark corners of the crypts and would never see the light of day.

The Starks' children were tough from a younger age; they knew their uncle was a monster and to never call for him, but even so, Bran still loved his family. He was particularly fond of Jon Snow and the Stark girls, Sansa and Arya, and would have come to their aid had they called for him.

Well, shit hits the fan hard when the War of the Five Kings kicks in. Bran was chilling in the crypts, singing his songs when Winterfell was taken by the Ironborn, which they took care of pretty quickly; after all, Winterfell is his home, and he won't allow invaders to take it.

Things get really, really bad when the red wedding happens and the Boltons return north to take Winterfell and are met with Bran, who was not happy at all, so he pulls all the Boltons and Karstarks into Carcosa and devours the minds of Roose Bolton and Ramsey Snow, learning what happened.

If the Lannisters are tough, the North is out of the fight; they have something else coming for them, something that does not eat, sleep, or soar and as hell cannot be reasoned with, because now, the King in Grey is on a path of vengeance, starting with the Frey, and when he is done, the living will be jealous of the dead.

Rickard Stark should have been more cautious when he prayed to the Old Gods before his wedding night, asking for his firstborn to be a son, a strong one, because the gods heard him and answered his prayers. Unfortunately for him, the gods who answered him were the old ones, at least not the Old Gods he knew, because when Lyarra got pregnant, the nightmare she gave birth to wasn't human.

His name was Brandon, and he was an eldritch abomination of umphantomable power, a being who has to wear a long hooded robe and mask because it is the only way he is visible.

Without the robe and the mask, his form is inconceivable, and sentient minds simply refuse to acknowledge it; it's not like he is invisible in the conventional way where light bends around him. Is it that the collective subconsciousness of every intelligent being in the world does not compute him, just like your brain can see your nose but edits it out to not hinder your vision?

If he is wearing just the mask, all you can see of him is a floating mask, and if you look at his face when he is wearing the hood but not the mask, you are hit full force by eldritch insanity and go completely mad.

When he is wearing his robes and mask, he can be described as a bag of tentacles; he is a tentacle monster. Brandon is a roughly human-shaped mass of wriggling tentacles with no end or beginning.

He is also the gateway to a non-Euclidean pocket dimension of madness he rules, and he can and will swallow people into it by using his tentacles to drag them under his robes, just like Raven did to Dr. Light in the Teen Titans. He can also devour minds mid-flayer style, but that's neither here nor there.

He has all the powers you would associate with an eldritch being, but the ones he sticks to are umbrakinesis, which allows him to create and command shadows, which he uses as portals. He can move through shadows; he reaches things through shadows, and he can use the shadows as a door to his limbo of madness dimension, which is called Carcosa, the realm of eternity and madness where he rules as king.

He also likes sea shanties; he sings them in his free time or when he is doing chores, singing them by himself, which is both amazing and terrifying because he is singing both the call and the response, as he is a one-man choir. The scariest part is that the response comes in many, many different voices, and every time his calls are answered, the number of voices increases.

When Rickard Stark first saw Brandom, or more precisely when he didn't see him until he was swaddled in grey robes and a mask after the sight of his face drove the midwife insane, he wanted to kill it with fire, but Lyarra convinced him not to. Instead Bran was confined to the crypts, to forever live there in his grey robes amongst the dead Starks, a shame that would never see the light of day.

His existence was a well-hidden secret only the Starks of Winterfell knew, for the outside world, Rockard Stark's firstborn child was stillborn; for the Starks, Bran was the thing that loved in the dark corners of the crypts and would never see the light of day.

The Starks' children were tough from a younger age; they knew their uncle was a monster and to never call for him, but even so, Bran still loved his family. He was particularly fond of Jon Snow and the Stark girls, Sansa and Arya, and would have come to their aid had they called for him.

Well, shit hits the fan hard when the War of the Five Kings kicks in. Bran was chilling in the crypts, singing his songs when Winterfell was taken by the Ironborn, which they took care of pretty quickly; after all, Winterfell is his home, and he won't allow invaders to take it.

Things get really, really bad when the red wedding happens and the Boltons return north to take Winterfell and are met with Bran, who was not happy at all, so he pulls all the Boltons and Karstarks into Carcosa and devours the minds of Roose Bolton and Ramsey Snow, learning what happened.

If the Lannisters are tough, the North is out of the fight; they have something else coming for them, something that does not eat, sleep, or soar and as hell cannot be reasoned with, because now, the King in Grey is on a path of vengeance, starting with the Frey, and when he is done, the living will be jealous of the dead.

In this AU, UA is a university, and everybody is 18+.

Izuku's quirk is that...

He does not have a quirk; instead, he is an eldritch abomination of umphantomable power, but the quirk he does not have is called the King in Green, because it forces Izuku to wear a long hooded robe and mask, because it is the only way he is visible.

Without the robe and the mask, his form is inconceivable, and sentient minds simply refuse to acknowledge it; it's not like he is invisible like Hagakure. Is it that the collective subconsciousness of every intelligent being in the world does not compute him, just like your brain can see your nose but edits it out to not hinder your vision?

If he is wearing just the mask, all you can see of him is a floating mask, and if you look at his face when he is wearing the hood but not the mask, you are hit full force by eldritch insanity and go completely mad.

When he is wearing his robes and mask, he can be described as a bag of tentacles; he is a tentacle monster, not like Shoji, who has a heteromorphic quirk that gives him tentacles. Izuku is a roughly human-shaped mass of wriggling tentacles with no end or beginning. He is also the gateway to a non-Euclidean pocket dimension of madness he rules, and he can and will swallow people into it by using his tentacles to drag them under his robes, just like Raven did to Dr. Light in the Teen Titans. He can also devour minds mid-flayer style, but that's neither here nor there.

He has all the powers you would associate with an eldritch being, but the ones he sticks to are umbrakinesis, which allows him to create and command shadows, which he uses as portals. He can move through shadows; he reaches things through shadows, and he can use the shadows as a door to his limbo of madness dimension, which is called Carcosa, the realm of eternity and madness where he rules as king.

He also likes sea shanties; he sings them in his free time or when he is doing chores, singing them by himself, which is both amazing and terrifying because he is singing both the call and the response, as he is a one-man choir. The scariest part is that the response comes in many, many different voices, and every time his calls are answered, the number of voices increases.

Anyway, many human things are lost on Izuku, like a lot, but if there's one thing that is not lost on him, it is the hypocrisy, because you see, Izuku is by all definitions of the world a heteromorph with extreme mutations, which already brings a lot of prejudice, but he is also a tentacle monster...

In Japan…

He is a tentacle monster in the nation that invented tentacle porn, and if you think quirks made people less horny for tentacles, then let's just say there's a reason Bad Dragon is worth trillions on the market.

According to the messages he gets online, there are only two kinds of people in Japan: people who think Izuku should be killed with fire and people with an "all the way through" fetish who want to find out how it feels to have a tentacle coming in on one end and coming out on the other and are willing to pay handsomely for the experience.

Do you know whose hypocrisy is not lost to either one?

Shoji, because he has a non-negligible number of histories from his own village where the same people who tried to lynch him for being different by day would try to buy "favors" from him by night.

And both Izuku and Shoji curse the day someone came with the "tentacle hole idea" back in the pre-quirk era and hope, whoever they are, that they are burning in hell.

on an AU where Viltrumites exist in the Black Lagoon universe instead of the Invincible one.

The surviving Viltrumites were sent away across the galaxy in search for worlds to conquer and species compatible with Viltrumite DNA to rebuild their numbers after the scourge virus, Rkur Okajima, also known as Rock, which is his Viltrumite name, because his Viltrumite parents were cunts like that was doing his job.

He had successfully infiltrated Japanese society, working as a salaryman, gathering information while preparing for the second half of his mission, to find a mate to see if humans are compatible with Viltrumite DNA, or he would be.

Well, now Rokuro Okjima, who did not miss the irony of the fact that this pirate crew is calling him by his Viltrumite name without knowing, has to pretend he is still a meek salaryman being held hostage by pirates in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, Southeast Asia, because his boss fucked him over.

The cover holds...

until the bar fight. You see, Rock was having fun. He was having a rather intense drinking contest with Revy, which he was going to win because Earth's alcohol does a huge amount of nothing to Viltrumites. So here he is, pretending to get drunk when all of a sudden, the Yellow Flag explodes.

Long story short, when the smoke clears out and the mercenaries hired to kill him roll up to the bar, they meet a demon, but this time it's not Revy alone who slaughters them all; it's Revy and Rock, because fuck it, it's been a while since the last time Rock tasted blood.

Well, long story short, Rock comes up with a sad sob story about how he is the last of his kind who just wants to live in peace on earth. He keeps the real reason he is on earth a secret, of course, and the Lagoon crew buys it and hires him on the spot because they would be idiots if they passed the chance to get a knock-off Superman that can also do accounting.

So now, Rock is in Roanapur, still dedicated to his mission, and he has to admit he likes it here more. He is still searching for mates, and if you ask him, Roanapur's selection of women is way more interesting than Japan's. Sue him; he likes his women with some fire.

Also, extra details: Roberta is also a Viltrumite. She and Conquest were on the same boat over the fact none of them even had a real name; they were known only for what they could do, and Roberta's Viltrumite name is also, ironically, Bloodhound.

When the Terminator Maid arc rolls around, Rock recognizes Roberta because they are friends. Their friendship goes all the way back to when they were kids in Viltrum when they formed an alliance to survive childhood, and when he asks her if she found a mate yet, she says yes, she did. Rock expected her to answer that her mate was Diego Lovelace, but nope, she had chosen Garcia as her future mate.

When Rock points out that he took Roberta for many things, but a predator wasn't one of them, Roberta tells him to pull his head out of the gutter; she's not a pedophile. Garcia is perfect, and he is too young, but he'll be ripe for the taking in a few years when he matures. Rock points out that that's grooming; he says she's a groomer, and that's almost as bad as being a pedo.

Roberta says she's not grooming him and it's not her fault she fits in this planet's Latina biotype, and Garcia, like his father, is an ass man, to which Rock agrees; she does have a nice ass. Roberta playfully punches him in the arm and asks how his search for a mate is going. Rock tells it's going well and doesn't elaborate any further. Roberta gives him a knowing look before going back to Garcia.

They, of course, keep everything they just said to each other a secret; for all everyone else knows, they are just two old friends who met each other again and found out they aren't alone in the universe.

I will not lie here; I am a huge fan of Saitama-like characters that are so ridiculously overpowered it's not even funny. Thus, during my World of Darkness hyperfixation phase, I developed an overpowered race, the Gurahl, or the werebears.

A werebear, or Gurahl in my lore, is a being created by the First One, an ADHD shitposter of an outer god that broke the rule of thumb of divine creation and made the most overpowered race of shapeshifters to ever exist in all dimensions. If you are curious about what the rule of thumb of divine creation is, first you have to understand that in my lore, gods cannot create things that are more powerful than them, because it requires more juice than they have.

Gods can create things as powerful as them, but they usually do not do it, so in the off chance their creations strive to usurp them, they will be easier to deal with; that's the rule of thumb. The First One took one look at that and said, "Fuck it," and made the werebears as close as possible to him in power, like, if the First One is a 10 in power, werebears are a 9.9999.

Werebears, unlike werewolves, do not have any weakness to silver; in fact, the only thing that can kill a werebear is the First One calling them back, and usually they have to call him first. Not even the Avada Kedavra works on them.

Werebears are also unstoppable in battle, especially when they turn into their war form, a twenty-foot-tall bear with scythe-like claws and fangs like curved daggers strong enough to crush steel and stone and so tough that anything short of a ballistic missile bounces off them, and even then, when they get hurt, their healing is so fast that whatever wound is inflicted on them heals without a scar before the blood reaches the ground.

Werebears are also masters of all magic, especially healing and elemental magic and, above all, necromancy. The first one made werebear magic as idiot-proof and user-friendly as possible, making it disgustingly easy for any of his creations to wield and making it consequence-free. A single werebear can, in one single hand gesture, raise every single cadaver on the planet as his loyal army of undead.

The biggest gift of the werebars is actually true resurrection, the power to bring the dead back to life in full, like they have never died to begin with. All they have to do is to kill something; it does not need to match the size, weight, or species of what they want to resurrect. As long as it is alive and can be killed, it counts, so they kill the sacrifice, then spit on whatever they want to bring back to life, and boom, resurrection, and the resurrected are back in full, no matter how decomposed they were before. They don't even need the full body to do it; the resurrected in question could have been a puddle of bodily fluids and would still come back from the dead in perfect health.

However, if the resurrected person was embalmed, they will be shitting themselves near death for a couple of days as the body will be expelling whatever was used to embalm them, and the more and stronger the embalming substances are, the worse it is.

Werebears would have conquered the world by now if it weren't for the fact they don't give a single shit about almost anything, prophecies included; usually they just want to be left alone to enjoy a good nap and some salmon here and there.

Werebearhood is also not a curse that can be passed on; it is a gift you are born with. Werebears are also not only humans who turn into bears but also bears who turn into humans, although the werebears born from bears rarely feel the need to shapeshift into their human forms.

Also, werebars are freakishly tall, and I mean really, really tall and thick as a castle wall.

Anyway, now that I got the lore of my ridiculously overpowered shapeshifting race, let's go into the meat and potatoes of the post.

You see, a fun fact about werebears, or Gurahl as they are also known, is when they mate with a non-werebear partner, there's a 50% chance the resulting offspring will be a normal baby. Only when two werebears mate does the offspring have a 100% chance of being a werebear; that's why there are human descendants of werebears.

The thing is, even if one of your parents is a werebear and you are born without the gift, the line comes from you and won't be werebears either, as even if you share blood with someone with the active gift, you won't have it, and you can't pass forward something you don't have.

There are only two ways for a non-werebear to become a werebear. The first is that if you come from a lineage that has a werebear ancestor, The First One can awaken your gift. In fact, The First One can bestow the gift onto anyone, but that requires catching his attention, which is already almost impossible to begin with, and even if you manage to get him to pick up the call, he might just turn you into a rotisserie chicken if he's feeling peckish.

That's why despite the fact he is the creator and patron god of the werebear race, his creations don't pray to him until they are ready to die.

The second way for a non-werebear to become a werebear is by becoming a stolen pelt, which is solidly placed in the "easier said than done" category.

To become a stolen pelt, you need to find and subdue a werebear in their warform under the light of a full hunter's moon. After that, you have to skin them alive and collect some of their blood and fat.

You mix the blood and fat of the werebear with the powder made of bear bones, the sap of a whimpering willow, and the tears of a redheaded virgin (any gender will do) to make a potion.

With the potion in hand, you wear the pelt of the werebear, still hot and dripping with blood and fat, and then drink the potion while still under the light of the hunter's moon.

Boom, now you are a stolen pelt, a pale mockery of a real werebear, still immortal, but not nearly as powerful as a real werebear. Also, you are now marked for the rest of your life, and wherever you go, the werebear kin will hunt you down to kill you, and it won't be a painless and quick death.

Also, werebears haven't been seen in the wizarding world in almost nine hundred years.

Well, we all know the boy who lived the troupe, right?

Harry has a twin; his parents are alive, and his twin brother is hailed as the chosen one while Harry gets the short end of the stick despite the fact he is the real chosen one and yada, yada, yada.

You see, Harry is the boy who lived, despite the fact his twin brother Adrian got the scar and the piece of Voldemort's soul, thus becoming a horcrux. You see, Harry survived that night because the First One was feeling zesty that night and decided to bestow the gift onto Harry.

So, those fics go as they usually do, but this time Adrian does not bully Harry as harshly as he usually does in these fics because, as stated, werebears are freakishly tall and built like corn-fed siege towers.

Detail, Harry knows he is a werebear, but he keeps that a secret because he knows for a fact if it bacame widely known that he is the mythical creature that shits on everything the wizarding world knows about power; his life will be a misery of bullshit he does not want to deal with, and he is more than happy to let his brother deal with the "boy who lived" bullshit.

Unfortunately, bullshit seems to follow him.

You see, Barty Crouch Jr., cunt extraordinary, decided to be a cunt and put Harry's name into the chalice of fire together with Adrian's name for the Triwizard Tournament, and the chalice (and the First One) were feeling zesty that day, so it spat out not only Adrian's name but also Harry's name, and because Hogwarts and the Ministry are a bunch of bastards and sons of bitches, he wasn't allowed to drop out of the competition, no matter how hard he argued that someone had put his name on the chalice against his will. And also, Hogwarts already had two champions, Cedric Diggory and Adrian Potter, so it's already horribly unfair to Durmstrang and Beauxbatons to have three Hogwarts champions, one of whom doesn't even want to compete, because let's be honest, Adrian won't miss any chance he gets to have his ego stroked, which would be a shame to everyone involved.

At some point, he says, "Albus, 'fuck mothering' Dumbledore, in the four years I've been attending this trainwreck of a magic school, have you ever seen me strive for anything grander than not being late to lunch? For fuck's sake, I'm Hufflepuff. I'm friends with Neville Longbottom. Do I look like I want to do anything else but eat salmon in peace and pretend I'm listening to Snape droning about potions while I'm sleeping with my eyes open in his class?

detail, the secret is still holding; to everybody else, Harry is just a freakishly tall wizard and not the closest thing to an omnipotent bear god on Earth.

Well, tough shit for Harry, because since his name was selected, he had to compete. So fuck him, I guess.

Harry does the tasks with the enthusiasm of a man working retail and was placed solidly in fifth place the whole time. Then came the finals, and that's when shit hit the fan epically.

Through sheer luck (and the fact that Harry punted Viktor Krum across the maze), Harry, Cedric, and Adrian touch the Triwizard Cup, and lo and behold, it's a portkey.

Well, Cedric gets blasted with the Avada Kedavra, and so does Harry, who decides to play dead—less work than actually doing something. Well, the dark lord uses Adrian's blood to come back, and then he calls his Death Eaters to him.

Well, it's at that moment that Harry, who was playing dead, decides to fuck it; he turns into his war form, a twenty-foot murder polar bear, and raises every single dead person in a fifty-meter radius because they are in a cemetery, and since he had said, "Fuck it," why not go all out?

Long story short, he captures all death eaters and Voldemort, and he proceeds to use werewolf magic to do the pettiest thing ever. Instead of killing Voldemort, he turns the dark lord into a muggle, forcing him to live forever as the thing he despises.

The only death eater Harry let go is Lucius, because Harry needs money and Lucius is filthy rich, and Lucius has a change of heart and becomes a nice person and decides to pay whatever Harry asks him to pay, because he does not want to piss off the werewolf showing sharp fangs at him while asking for money (werewolves don't lose their minds when they transform; they are still the people they are, just in werewolf form).

Still in his war form, Harry opens a portal and marches across it back to Hogwarts with his army of undead, dragging the now-muggle Voldemort and his Death Eaters, while Harry himself carries Adiran and the corpse of Cedric.

Once he is back in Hogwarts, the first thing he does is de-transform, and then he kills a fly and spits on Cedric's body, resurrecting him, because Harry liked him and the guy didn't deserve to die.

Well, the Dark Lord is a muggle who will spend the rest of his time in Azkaban with his Death Eaters, minus the Malfoys, and now the wizarding world knows a werewolf walks among them again. Harry is already tired, but fuck his life, I guess.

Also, the whole stolen pelt thing? That's a lie.

That's a bullshit story the werebears came up with to discourage folks from trying to transform into a werebear.

The real second way for a non-werebear to become a werebear is that you get a werebear to eat a shitload of salmon and then fart on your face afterwards.

And yes, Harry is also taking that secret to his grave.

Anyone who watched Kingdom, the Korean historical drama zombie apocalypse series and movie, would it be too much of a stretch to have an Apothecary Diaries crossover with that?

Like, just imagine a thriller mystery where the empire is at war with an enemy who seemingly can raise the dead through mysterious ways, and now they need to find how they are doing it and how to stop it before they get overrun by a tidal wave of living dead, and at the same time, the stories of the dead rising from the grave to gnaw on the living match an old tale Maomao heard from her father when she was little. She thinks she knows how the dead are being raised, but she needs proof, and the only way to prove that is by finding the Saengsacho (or resurrection flower in English), so she may try to knock something that will either stop the spreading of the living dead or at least find a way to control them in their favor.

Like, can you imagine the levels of fuckery Maomao could pull off with a plant that actually raises the dead?

I will not lie here; I am a huge fan of Saitama-like characters that are so ridiculously overpowered it's not even funny. Thus, during my World of Darkness hyperfixation phase, I developed an overpowered race, the Gurahl, or the werebears.

A werebear, or Gurahl in my lore, is a being created by the First One, an ADHD shitposter of an outer god that broke the rule of thumb of divine creation and made the most overpowered race of shapeshifters to ever exist in all dimensions. If you are curious about what the rule of thumb of divine creation is, first you have to understand that in my lore, gods cannot create things that are more powerful than them, because it requires more juice than they have.

Gods can create things as powerful as them, but they usually do not do it, so in the off chance their creations strive to usurp them, they will be easier to deal with; that's the rule of thumb. The First One took one look at that and said, "Fuck it," and made the werebears as close as possible to him in power, like, if the First One is a 10 in power, werebears are a 9.9999.

Werebears, unlike werewolves, do not have any weakness to silver; in fact, the only thing that can kill a werebear is the First One calling them back, and usually they have to call him first. Not even the Avada Kedavra works on them.

Werebears are also unstoppable in battle, especially when they turn into their war form, a twenty-foot-tall bear with scythe-like claws and fangs like curved daggers strong enough to crush steel and stone and so tough that anything short of a ballistic missile bounces off them, and even then, when they get hurt, their healing is so fast that whatever wound is inflicted on them heals without a scar before the blood reaches the ground.

Werebears are also masters of all magic, especially healing and elemental magic and, above all, necromancy. The first one made werebear magic as idiot-proof and user-friendly as possible, making it disgustingly easy for any of his creations to wield and making it consequence-free. A single werebear can, in one single hand gesture, raise every single cadaver on the planet as his loyal army of undead.

The biggest gift of the werebars is actually true resurrection, the power to bring the dead back to life in full, like they have never died to begin with. All they have to do is to kill something; it does not need to match the size, weight, or species of what they want to resurrect. As long as it is alive and can be killed, it counts, so they kill the sacrifice, then spit on whatever they want to bring back to life, and boom, resurrection, and the resurrected are back in full, no matter how decomposed they were before. They don't even need the full body to do it; the resurrected in question could have been a puddle of bodily fluids and would still come back from the dead in perfect health.

However, if the resurrected person was embalmed, they will be shitting themselves near death for a couple of days as the body will be expelling whatever was used to embalm them, and the more and stronger the embalming substances are, the worse it is.

Werebears would have conquered the world by now if it weren't for the fact they don't give a single shit about almost anything, prophecies included; usually they just want to be left alone to enjoy a good nap and some salmon here and there.

Werebearhood is also not a curse that can be passed on; it is a gift you are born with. Werebears are also not only humans who turn into bears but also bears who turn into humans, although the werebears born from bears rarely feel the need to shapeshift into their human forms.

Also, werebars are freakishly tall, and I mean really, really tall and thick as a castle wall.

Anyway, now that I got the lore of my ridiculously overpowered shapeshifting race, let's go into the meat and potatoes of the post.

You see, a fun fact about werebears, or Gurahl as they are also known, is when they mate with a non-werebear partner, there's a 50% chance the resulting offspring will be a normal baby. Only when two werebears mate does the offspring have a 100% chance of being a werebear; that's why there are human descendants of werebears.

The thing is, even if one of your parents is a werebear and you are born without the gift, the line comes from you and won't be werebears either, as even if you share blood with someone with the active gift, you won't have it, and you can't pass forward something you don't have.

There are only two ways for a non-werebear to become a werebear. The first is that if you come from a lineage that has a werebear ancestor, The First One can awaken your gift. In fact, The First One can bestow the gift onto anyone, but that requires catching his attention, which is already almost impossible to begin with, and even if you manage to get him to pick up the call, he might just turn you into a rotisserie chicken if he's feeling peckish.

That's why despite the fact he is the creator and patron god of the werebear race, his creations don't pray to him until they are ready to die.

The second way for a non-werebear to become a werebear is by becoming a stolen pelt, which is solidly placed in the "easier said than done" category.

To become a stolen pelt, you need to find and subdue a werebear in their warform under the light of a full hunter's moon. After that, you have to skin them alive and collect some of their blood and fat.

You mix the blood and fat of the werebear with the powder made of bear bones, the sap of a whimpering willow, and the tears of a redheaded virgin (any gender will do) to make a potion.

With the potion in hand, you wear the pelt of the werebear, still hot and dripping with blood and fat, and then drink the potion while still under the light of the hunter's moon.

Boom, now you are a stolen pelt, a pale mockery of a real werebear, still immortal, but not nearly as powerful as a real werebear. Also, you are now marked for the rest of your life, and wherever you go, the werebear kin will hunt you down to kill you, and it won't be a painless and quick death.

Also, werewolves haven't been seen in the wizarding world in almost nine hundred years.

Well, we all know the boy who loved the troupe, right?

Harry has a twin; his parents are alive, and his twin brother is hailed as the chosen one while Harry gets the short end of the stick despite the fact he is the real chosen one and yada, yada, yada.

You see, Harry is the boy who lived, despite the fact his twin brother Adrian got the scar and the piece of Voldemort's soul, thus becoming a horcrux. You see, Harry survived that night because the First One was feeling zesty that night and decided to bestow the gift onto Harry.

So, those fics go as they usually do, but this time Adrian does not bully Harry as harshly as he usually does in these fics because, as stated, werewolves are freakishly tall and built like corn-fed siege towers.

In detail, Harry knows he is a werebear, but he keeps that a secret because he knows for a fact he is the mythical creature that shoots on everything the wizarding world knows about power; his life will be a misery of bullshit he does not want to deal with, and he is more than happy to let his brother deal with the "boy who lived" bullshit.

Unfortunately, bullshit seems to follow him.

You see, Barty Crouch Jr., cunt extraordinary, decided to be a cunt and put Harry's name into the chalice of fire together with Adrian's name for the Triwizard Tournament, and the chalice (and the First One) were feeling zesty that day, so it spat out not only Adrian's name but also Harry's name, and because Hogwarts and the Ministry are a bunch of bastards and sons of bitches, he wasn't allowed to drop out of the competition, no matter how hard he argued that someone had put his name on the chalice against his will. And also, Hogwarts already had two champions, Cedric Diggory and Adrian Potter, so it's already horribly unfair to Durmstrang and Beauxbatons to have three Hogwarts champions, one of whom doesn't even want to compete, because let's be honest, Adrian won't miss any chance he gets to have his ego stroked, which would be a shame to everyone involved.

At some point, he says, "Albus, fuck mothering." Dumbledore, in the four years I've been attending this trainwreck of a magic school, have you ever seen me strive for anything grander than not being late to lunch? For fuck's sake, I'm Hufflepuff. I'm friends with Neville Longbottom. Do I look like I want to do anything else but eat salmon in peace and pretend I'm listening to Snape droning about potions while I'm sleeping with my eyes open in his class?

detail, the secret is still holding; to everybody else, Harry is just a freakishly tall wizard and not the closest thing to an omnipotent bear god on Earth.

Well, tough shot for Harry, because since his name was selected, he had to compete. So fuck him, I guess.

Harry did the tasks with the enthusiasm of a man working retail and was placed solidly in fifth place the whole time. Then came the finals, and that's when shit hit the fan epically.

Through sheer luck (and the fact that Hary punted Viktor Krum across the maze), Harry, Cedric, and Adrian touch the Triwizard Cup, and lo and behold, it's a portkey.

Well, Cedric gets blasted with the Avada Kedavra, and so does Harry, who decides to play dead—less work than actually doing something. Well, the dark lord uses Adrian's blood to come back, and then he calls his Death Eaters to him.

Well, it's at that moment that Harry, who was playing dead, decides to fuck it; he turns into his war form, a twenty-foot murder polar bear, and raises every single dead person in a fifty-meter radius because they are in a cemetery, and since he had said, "Fuck it," why not go all out?

Long story short, he captures all death eaters and Voldemort, and he proceeds to use werewolf magic to do the pettiest thing ever. Instead of killing Voldemort, he turns the dark lord into a muggle, forcing him to live forever as the thing he despises.

The only death eater Harry let go is Lucius, because Harry needs money and Lucius is filthy rich, and Lucius has a change of heart and becomes a nice person and decides to pay whatever Harry asks him to pay, because he does not want to piss off the werewolf showing sharp fangs at him while asking for money (werewolves don't lose their minds when they transform; they are still the people they are, just in werewolf form).

Still in his war form, Harry opens a portal and marches across it back to Hogwarts with his army of undead, dragging the now-muggle Voldemort and his Death Eaters, while Harry himself carries Adiran and the corpse of Cedric.

Once he is back in Hogwarts, the first thing he does is de-transform, and then he kills a fly and spits on Cedric's body, resurrecting him, because Harry liked him and the guy didn't deserve to die.

Well, the Dark Lord is a muggle who will spend the rest of his time in Azkaban with his Death Eaters, minus the Malfoys, and now the wizarding world knows a werewolf walks among them again. Harry is already tired, but fuck his life, I guess.

Also, the whole stolen pelt thing? That's a lie.

That's a bullshit story the werebars came up with to discourage folks from trying to transform into a werebear.

The real second way for a non-werebear to become a werebear is that you get a werebear to eat a shitload of salmon and then fart on your face afterwards.

And yes, Harry is also taking that secret to his grave.

UA is a college, and everybody is 18+ years old here.

So, Izuku's quirk is an odd one, you see; he has a third eye right on his forehead. So far, nothing out of the ordinary; extra eyes have been among the most common mutations ever since quirks manifested themselves. The thing is, said eye has multiple functions.

The main thing is, Izuku can't see through his third eye and his normal eyes at the same time; to use his third eye, he has to close his normal eyes, which makes it pretty awkward to use said third eye, and no, he can't just close one of his normal eyes and open his third eye; both of his normal eyes have to be closed for the third eye to open.

You see, his third eye has a myriad of different visions, but it does not have normal vision. Meaning, Izuku can see through his third eye, but he can't see through it like he does with his normal eyes.

The kind of visions he has with his third eye are as follows:

X-ray vision: self-explanatory; he can see through things.

Zoom: He can zoom on things, being capable of reading fine printing from up to five miles away.

Thermal vision: he has infrared vision.

Night vision: he can see in the dark.

Farseeing: He can see the entirety of a person's past and future upon looking at them with his third eye; however, he can only use that twice a day because more than that puts too much pressure on his brain and third eye, risking extreme damage to both.

and last, but not least, The Meduza stare: Izuku can shoot from his third eye a cone of green light that petrifies everything the light hits, and I don't mean paralyzes; I mean literally turns things into stone, and said cone has an effective range of a mile.

The things turned into stone are indestructible, meaning they can't be broken or destroyed, and the petrification can be reversed, which already makes the Medusa stare perfect for the capture and transport of villains; after all, all you have to do is blast away, and boom, the rampaging villain is an indestructible statue.

However, the biggest use of the medusa stare is actually healing. You see, when something gets petrified by the Medusa stare and then de-petrified, it is fixed. If what got petrified was an inanimate object, it is healed, or if the target was a living thing, it is healed back to peak shape. It does not matter how bad it was; the target could be dead, but as long as they still had brain activity, they would get healed to peak health and completely rested, because the petrification acts like some sort of cryogenic sleep where the target gets preserved in stone, and while they are turned into stone, they are in some sort of deep, dreamless REM sleep, so when they are de-petrified, they are not only healed, they are also completely rested, and they do not age when they are made of stone.

Now, the awkwardness of the quirk comes from how the de-petrification is achieved, and it is also why Izuku doesn't like using the Medusa stare much. Have you ever watched Dr. Stone?

You see, only Izuku can de-petrify people because, to do so, they need to be splashed with a special compound he naturally produces. When the petrified person comes in contact with the compound, the stone cracks and peels off like a shell, revealing the fully rested and healed person.

So, how does Izuku apply said compound to the petrified person?

by pissing on them. You see, Izuku naturally produces the compound; it is in all his bodily fluids. The problem is the concentration of it. The only fluids in his body that have a strong enough concentration of the compound to trigger the de-petrification are his urine and his semen.

He does not know why his nut has it, but he thinks his urine has the necessary concentration because his kidneys filter the compound from his bloodstream, which accumulates in his bladder.

And yes, he found out which of his bodily fluids have enough of the compound by testing them on the pigeons he kidnapped from the park.

And also yes, he collects and stores his pee to use as a de-petrification fluid, because the last thing he wants is to pull out his dick and let it rip every time he has to de-petrify someone or, worse, rub one out on them.

He would die if the first thing someone saw after getting de-petrified was him with his dick in his hands after pissing or ejaculating on them.

I don't know if fanfic ideas can be posted here, but I'll try my luck, and I know the setting is more grounded and realistic with no magic and shit, but I find it funny to throw a magic wrench in grounded settings' plans just to see what happens.

Like, I have this idea where Maomao is a brother, not a real blood brother, but someone she sees as a brother.

said brother, who is an easygoing dude with no fucks to give whatsoever for most things but loves Maomao like she is his real sister, developed the recipe for the elixir of eternal life. It's an elixir that, as the name suggests, grants immortality to whoever drinks it. The elixir does more things: if you dilute a drop of it in a hundred liters of water, it becomes a medicine that can cure any wound, disease, and illness. If you dilute a drop of it in a barrel of wine, whoever drinks the wine will be rejuvenated back to their prime age. If you shove some of the undiluted thing down a corpse's throat or manage to get it inside the corpse's veins, it will resurrect the dead, a full resurrection, and if you drink the undiluted... you die, and then you come back to life as a true immortal.

found out that it was disgustingly easy to make, like, to the point you don't even need hyper-rare and valuable ingredients, save for just one, which is ox bezoar, which the brother had shamelessly stolen from an ox carcass he was hired to clean.

Long story short, the brother is now immortal; he does not age, he does not get wounded or sick, and he is immune to poison. He, of course, makes a living as a mercenary.

Maomao is trying to find out the recipe for that elixir of immortality; her apothecary senses are tingling to dissect that formula and her brother's to see what makes it tick, but her brother refuses to share the recipe that exists only in his head because, fuck everybody, the recipe is his and he is having way too much fun teasing Maomao about her frustrated attempts at recreating the formula.

Like, can you imagine how fun it would be if Maomao had an immortal brother who knows the secret of immortality but is a little shit about it?

I'm looking for the wrong boys who lived fics, preferably non-yaoi and crackfics.

I just had enough of edgy fics and i just wnat something to get a good laught out of, can anyone recomend me some?

We all go through those moments where we are looking for something to read when we want to scratch that itch for quirkless Izuku Midoriya fics, and from time to time we read a smut fic that has "Izuku Midoriya has a big dick" in the tags, and I'll admit, although I can't remember their names, some of the funniest fics I've read were fics where quirkless Izuku had a big dick while the rest of the male cast either had average dicks or really small ones. mostly because of the comedy effect of noticing the quirkless loser outclasses them where it actually matters.

The thing is, after easing enough of them, my brain started asking questions, like, what kind of evolutionary path would lead towards quirkless males having bigger dicks than quirked ones? Then the answer hit me while I was watching a nature documentary.

It also explains why, or at least a part of why, quirks get stronger with each passing generation.

Gorillas have the smallest penis size to body ratio in nature; fully erect, they stand at a proud 1.25 to 2.5 inches. The reason?

They have and maintain harems. The whole competition for females is done through intimidation and violence, and the winner takes all, meaning they do not face competition on a genetic level, and without the need for their sperm to compete for the eggs against rival sperm, they did not evolve to have large genitalia.

Now you may be asking, what does that have to do with quirkless people and the power of quirks?

The answer is simple: when quirks became the norm, the game changed drastically. Women started favoring men with powerful quirks, and evolution favors what ensures the genes will be passed over to the next generation.

The same happened to women; men favor women with stronger quirks and more desirable breeding characteristics, such as wide hips and bigger breasts, and then they would compete with each other for those women.

As time went by, little by little, humanity changed without anyone noticing. Women became sexier to attract males, and males more fertile, facing less and less genetic competition for the female eggs. Males went through a process of genital shrinking and reduction in semen production. After all, why invest in that when it's your quirk doing all the heavy lifting to get the females to begin with?

It is, in the universe, a real estimate that within the next two to three generations human dicks will be the size of gorilla dicks.

The reason quirkless males have a bigger dick than quirked males is exactly because they are quirkless; without a quirk to attract women, quirkless men need all the advantage they can get to ensure their genes get passed on, so while quirked men are seeing a reduction in genital size and semen production, quirkless men are going through the exact opposite because, fun fact, human penises evolved this particular shape, the flared gland, to scrape rivals' semen from inside women's reproductive tracts.

So a bigger dick helps scrape on that by creating a sort of seal to scrape off other men's semen, while a higher volume of semen ensures his genetic material has the higher chance of fertilizing the egg by way of flooding the reproductive tract.

Anyway, I'm sleep deprived, and that's what my dumbass brain came up with because I just had way too much fun thinking about it for a fic I will never write, becasue as much as i hate NTR i love NTR-revenge fics.

Like, just imagine, it is just shy of graduation, and Izuku, who just lost his quirk for good, finds out that Bakugo, who was still the same insufferable prick as he always had been, has been dating Uraraka for the last two months via the worst way possible. a sex tape of her and him fucking on his dorm room bed.

cliché NTR shit, which in hindsight is still devastating to see your crush being pined over and stolen away from you by your bully, but loses some of the impact when the bully's equipment is less than average, but still.

Well, life moves on.

Cut to eight years, to the eight-year time skip. Uraraka and Bakugo are married, and Uraraka is miserable because Bakugo is married to his career. which is not doing well, not because he is incompetent, but because his personality is still shitty and because their sex life was summarized by him doing two to three pumps before coming, going soft, and then going to sleep, because apparently without the thrill of sticking it up to Izuku, he treated sex as a chore he had to do so his mom would get off his ass about grandchildren.

So, they are at the class reunion, socializing and hearing the rumors about Izuku, because after he became a UA teacher, his private life became really private, and nobody has seen him, especially in the last two years. Then Izuku walks in with the most beautiful woman you ever saw, which is basically Bayonetta, also known as Cereza.

In this AU she's a pro hero that goes by the name of Bayonetta and a high-ranking one.
When asked who she is by Jirou, who is on the verge of having a serious gay panic attack after looking at Bayonetta, Izuku introduces her as his fiance, whom he met two years prior at an I-sland event he attended. Of course, Mineta is promptly punted across the room before he could start saying something that would surely end up with him getting into a full body cast.

Now, the fun part is, everybody knows who Bayonetta is. On top of being a high-ranking pro hero, she is also a fashion icon with her own designer brand, a supermodel of global renown, and the number one fashion designer in the world.
What shocks the most is not the fact that Izuku and she are engaged; what shocks the most is the fact that, despite being engaged with literally the number one fashion designer in the world, Izuku still wears those atrocious pun shirts.

Seriously, Cereza rolled up to the reunion wearing a one-of-a-kind dress of her own design that costs more than Uraraka's house, immaculate makeup, jewelry of divine beauty, and high heels that Mina is fiding for a pair, and Izuku is literally wearing his red shoes, khaki shorts, and green shit that says "formal attire" like he was going to Home Depot.

Uraraka is jealous because Cereza looks extremely happy and, by the slight limp in her step, very, very satisfied. Bakugo, on the other hand, is furious because how can that loser pull that goddess? He demands explanations because she is a top hero in the global charts, she is richer than God and the Yaoyorozus, she has one of the most powerful quirks in registered history, and she has been ranked the hottest woman in the globe for six years in a row. How does that Adam Sandler-looking quirkless loser land her?

Cereza smirks and explains that yes, she is rich, she is hot, she is very powerful, and she is dating a man with the most atrocious taste for casual wear on the planet when she could have any pro hero, politician, actor, singer, or idol on the planet, but she chose Izuku because he has a good heart, makes her feel like a woman, not a symbol, and treats her like a queen. He sees her for who she is and looks at her like she hung the moon and the stars, even when she's one of those days where all she wants to do is cuddle on the couch wearing sweatpants and eating cold pizza while binge-watching the Bachelor.

She also points out that she has appetites and Izuku is a great lover with incredible stamina, attention to detail, eagerness to please, and an 18-inch cock that won't give up for hours until she is a babbling mess from all the bareback, leg-breaking, creampie sex they have until her legs are jelly.

Izuku has an atomic blush, which deepens as Cereza turns to Uraraka and thanks her for freeing such a good man back into the market, a mistake she won't be doing.

And that's it; whoever wants to adopt this and make it a full fic, please be my guest.

We all go through those moments where we are looking for something to read when we want to scratch that itch for quirkless Izuku Midoriya fics, and from time to time we read a smut fic that has "Izuku Midoriya has a big dick" in the tags, and I'll admit, although I can't remember their names, some of the funniest fics I've read were fics where quirkless Izuku had a big dick while the rest of the male cast either had average dicks or really small ones. mostly because of the comedy effect of noticing the quirkless loser outclasses them where it actually matters.

The thing is, after easing enough of them, my brain started asking questions, like, what kind of evolutionary path would lead towards quirkless males having bigger dicks than quirked ones? Then the answer hit me while I was watching a nature documentary.

It also explains why, or at least a part of why, quirks get stronger with each passing generation.

Gorillas have the smallest penis size to body ratio in nature; fully erect, they stand at a proud 1.25 to 2.5 inches. The reason?

They have and maintain harems. The whole competition for females is done through intimidation and violence, and the winner takes all, meaning they do not face competition on a genetic level, and without the need for their sperm to compete for the eggs against rival sperm, they did not evolve to have large genitalia.

Now you may be asking, what does that have to do with quirkless people and the power of quirks?

The answer is simple: when quirks became the norm, the game changed drastically. Women started favoring men with powerful quirks, and evolution favors what ensures the genes will be passed over to the next generation.

The same happened to women; men favor women with stronger quirks and more desirable breeding characteristics, such as wide hips and bigger breasts, and then they would compete with each other for those women.

As time went by, little by little, humanity changed without anyone noticing. Women became sexier to attract males and males more fertile, facing less and less genetic competition for the female eggs. Males went through a process of genital shrinking and reduction in semen production. After all, why invest in that when it's your quirk doing all the heavy lifting to get the females to begin with?

It is, in the universe, a real estimate that within the next two to three generations human dicks will be the size of gorilla dicks.

The reason quirkless males have a bigger dick than quirked males is exactly because they are quirkless; without a quirk to attract women, quirkless men need all the advantage they can get to ensure their genes get passed on, so while quirked men are seeing a reduction in genital size and semen production, quirkless men are going through the exact opposite because, fun fact, human penises evolved this particular shape, the flared gland, to scrape rivals' semen from inside women's reproductive tracts.

So a bigger dick helps scrape on that by creating a sort of seal to scrape off other men's semen, while a higher volume of semen ensures his genetic material has the higher chance of fertilizing the egg by way of flooding the reproductive tract.

Anyway, I'm sleep deprived, and that's what my dumbass brain came up with because I just had way too much fun reading a fic that takes place after everyone is in their mid to late twenties and the guys from Class 1-A were at a bar having a small reunion, and they see Izuku, who was a quirkless analyst, having a date and are confused about why Izuku's girlfriend, in this case Nejire, seemed to be walking with a limp, and Iida explained the above to them.

Everyone here is 18+ years old.

Izuku is a werecat, a shapeshifter that can alternate completely at will and as easily as they breathe between five forms (and yes, I am ripping off the names straight from the World of Darkness wiki).

homid—which is simply a normal human, but with the advent of quirks, they started having a few extra traits, mostly sharper senses of hearing and smell, light night vision, and more cat-like eyes.

Sokto - near-humans who have more cat-like features, such as becoming more hairy, more agile, and more flexible; having claws; and having cat ears and tails.

Crinos—the war form, the hybrid form where they balloon up to resemble the mix of a human and a prehistoric cat. In Izuku's case, he resembles a sabertooth tiger, and when I say huge, I mean FUCKING HUGE; like in the war form, a werecat can be anything between 12 and 15 feet tall, a wall of muscle and feline grace, depending on the kind of cat, of course.

Chatro—the form where they resemble a larger prehistoric cat, in Izuku's case a saber-toothed tiger the size of a horse.

And last, but not least.

Feline—which is a regular cat detail. Just because that form is just a cat, it does not mean the cat they are in this form has to match the cat they were in the previous forms.

Werecats are masters at magic, especially illusion magic, teleportation, shadow walking, and any sort of magic they can use to make themselves undetectable and physical enhancement magic, which they can use existentially to enhance themselves. using it to both strengthen what they are strong at and make up for what they fall short of.

Also, fun fact: weird cats have nine lives. Yes, they are sort of immortal; they don't die unless they get killed. They heal from any wound as long as it's not caused by silver, and they get more powerful the older they get, and like werewolves, they are weak to silver, but here's the thing: even if you kill them, they don't die unless you kill them eight more times, and how it works is whenyou kill a werecat, if he still has lives to spare, his body will vanish into a big curtain of hallucinogenic smoke, and they will respawn in a safe place they marked previously.

(As you can imagine, death hates them).

And he can talk to and understand animals, but that's something all shapeshifters can do, so it's more of a universal ability than an exclusive one.

Now, here's the fun fact: everything I just said above is somewhat a lie. You see, Izuku is a werecat, but not in the way you are thinking.

To begin with, he is not a human who turns into a cat; he is a cat who turns into a human. One beautiful day, Inko, who had just divorced Hiashi after she found out that he was attending the birth of his mistress's child while she delivered a stillborn, found an abandoned kitten by the station.

The kitten, she later found out, was a British Shorthair, a green-furred, green-eyed British Shorthair with stripes, which she adopted on the spot and called Izuku Midoriya, the name of the stillborn son she delivered alone.

Once she cleaned him up and fed him, she took him to the vet, where, thanks to the fact Nezu and a few other animals with quirks exist, Izuku got tested for a quirk, which he does not have despite the fact he has green fur.

So, imagine Inko's surprise when one day, she comes back from work to find Izuku sleeping on the couch, but instead of a cat, she finds a human child. Now multiply it by ten, because that's how Izuku felt, because he went to take his afternoon nap as a cat and woke up as a human.

Well, since a quirk was out of the way, they came to the conclusion that Izuku must be magical, and that's when they stumbled upon werecat lore online, and every box was matched, so they both assumed Izuku is a werecat.

The thing is, Izuku is not a werecat per se; he is a Schrödinger cat. Basically, he is still quirkless, but he is also the embodiment of a quantum mechanic that makes him have the terrifying, god-like ability to exist everywhere and nowhere at the same time. He is not limited to just space; it is also time. He can be anywhere and nowhere in time; he is also both alive and dead at the same time, meaning he cannot be killed, and it is all based on his sense of self. Heck, he can even enter people's minds, dreams, and technological devices like computers and TVs. If he thinks he is in a place, he will be at that place; if he thinks himself alive, he will be alive even if he got killed—basically self-resurrection. Heck, he can even use his quirk to teleport others with him.

While he was asleep, he dreamed of being human, and his Schrödinger powers made him human now that he believes he is a werecat. He is a werecat. Which is how his "quirk" is called; they register Izuku's werecathood as his quirk, obviously keeping the more fantastical details hidden.

Well, long story short, Inko managed somehow to register Izuku as her son and enrolled him in kindergarten because she couldn't in good conscience let her five-year-old child spend all day alone locked inside the house, and in kindergarten, Izuku met who would become his childhood friend and later his long-term girlfriend, Rumi Usagyama, who, like Izuku, is also a shapeshifter.

She is a were-rabbit, and just like Izuku, she is a rabbit that turns into a woman, but unlike Izuku, she constantly remains in the Sokto form, which gives her rabbit ears and a tail, strong muscles, a hyper-enhanced sense of smell and hearing, and strong prey instincts.

They hit it off like a house on fire, bonding over their shared dreams of becoming pro heroes; they love, trust, and respect each other a great deal.

They also both deluded themselves into believing they are the dominant ones in their relationship.

You see, rabbits show dominance by demanding grooming from their subordinates, and cats show dominance by grooming, meaning they are in this collective delusion of a relation where each thinks they are the top and the other is the sub, but in fact, they are both the top.

(And yes, Rumi has a war form; it is a twelve-foot-tall bipedal human/rabbit hybrid built like a shit brick house that came out of the wet dreams of a furry with a muscle mommy obsession).

Especially because they both know they are shapeshifters and very often hang around in their feline form, which in Rumi's case is called lagomorph form, and like clockwork, Rumi in rabbit form will hop to Izuku and demand he groom her, and Izuku will groom her.

Inko and Rumi's mom find it hilariously cute.

When they both join UA, Izuku in class 1-A and Rumi in class 1-B, they develop a healthy rivalry, mostly because they cuddle and groom their stress after class.

Mineta had an aneurysm when he found out that Izuku started college with a girlfriend and said the girlfriend was the hot-as-hell, kickass rabbit girl from their sister class.

This was just my convoluted way of making an IzukuxMiruko ship prompt.

Izuku's quirk, when it came, changed his life forever and not exactly in a good sense. Ever since he was four, he had to use a special suit that looks like a space suit and hazmat suit had a baby; his room had to be fitted with a biohazard containment bubble, he had to be isolated from contact with other people, and he hadn't eaten out of anything that wasn't disposable or that wasn't incinerated ever since he was four.

Heck, the only reason I look isn't completely isolated is because he begged to be allowed to attend school under the threat of killing himself if he wasn't.

Now, you may be asking, what is his quirk that requires him to be in such a distressing situation?

Well, you see, Izuku's quirk has the potential to destroy the world. It is called viral load, and it makes it so that he is constantly producing and exhaling an airborne virus from his body named Midoriya Virus, or MV. In its airborne form, the virus affects only women.

The MV has the capability to remain completely undetectable by the body's immune system upon being inhaled by women, quickly spreading and multiplying. Detail: Males can also get infected by the MV in its airborne state, but they are not affected by it; they, however, become vectors of transmission for up to sixty to seventy-two hours before the virus dies.

The thing is, the virus causes the host women to experience a drastic increase in libido, a decrease in inhibitions, and a deep primal need to breed for a couple hours up to two weeks after infection, wherein the infected women will seek to sleep with as many partners as possible.

After said time period passes, the increase in libido and lack of inhibitions stop, but the virus remains in their bodies for good, having become part of their bodies. In fact, the virus becomes a built-in genetic maintenance mechanism inside the body, fixing genetic defects that would otherwise cause degenerative diseases and even becoming part of the body's innate immune system, hunting bacteria and parasites.

The virus also mutates, going from an airborne virus to a sexually transmissible virus. You see, women are not the final host of the virus; they are just where they need to go to finish maturing before reaching the final host.

The final host is actually men. When a man contracts the Midroya virus, he initially witnesses an increase in stamina and endurance that lasts up to two hours after initial infection; then he will fall into a short coma that lasts anywhere between eight and twelve hours, and while he is out, the virus changes his body, flipping his gender.

Basically the virus turns them into women, into full-fledged women, and induces hypersexuality, naturally higher libidos, lower inhibitions, and almost completely destroys their restraint. The worst of it happens during the first three weeks after they wake up from the coma; after that, the restraints kick back in, but barely.

Meaning they will have sex with any man they see, and depending on the woman in question, they will attack and assault any man they see until their self-restraint kicks back in, and even then, it is just enough to make sure they won't jump anyone in the streets.

After the MV reaches the final host, it once again becomes airborne to restart the cycle, and just like with the women, the men who were infected will forever carry the MV in its sexually transmissible form. Detail, save for Izuku, nobody is immune to the virus; there's no way to make a vaccine, and there's no way to reverse its effects after the damage is done. The MV has a 100% infection success rate.

The good news is that it does not pass from mother to child, meaning that even if a baby is born from someone infected, they won't be infected by the virus straight up; they'll have to get infected the old-fashioned way.

Now, you may be asking, how did Izuku find out that's what his quirk does?

The answer is his quirk manifested when he was four years old, just like any normal quirk. The thing is, Inko got wiff of Izuku, got infected, and jumped. His bones lie like he was the last cock on earth.

Twelve hours later, Izuku found himself in quarantine with Inko and Hisashi. Also, he now has two moms, one of whom was a whole total slut for about two weeks before reigning herself in during the quarantine.

Izuku is now in college, attending UA's university general course and living at the dorms in his specially isolated dorm room, and hoping for the love of everything that is holy nothing bad happens. And then along came Minate, who eavesdropped about Izuku's quirk and only got the part of the conversation that sounded to him like a sure way to get laid with all the girls in his class.

He completely missed or became selectively deaf to the part where after twelve hours he would become a woman and a cum-guzzling slut. So Mineta, using the wrong head to think, manages to sneak into Izuku's room, gets a deep breath of the contaminated air, and heck, he even breaks into the locked trash can where Izuku disposes of the utensils and clothes he used to be incinerated and licks everything he could get his grabby hands on.

long story short, he got infected, got his dream orgy in the girls locker room and twelve hours later he was teh cum sponge in the boys locker room.

The girls got infected, and the guys got infected and turned into girls, who in turn went out and started spreading both their legs and the Midoriya Virus. It took less than six months for the virus to completely overrun Japan, and it is estimated that the virus will overrun the globe in less than a decade.

On the bright side, Izuku can finally go outside without the suit, as he will soon be one of the last and eventually the last male on earth, all because Mineta thought he found the secret to an easy lay.

this was based on this doujinshi and the fact it would be a horro story if it wasn't porn: https://hentairead.com/hentai/ts-revolution-decensored/

It is admittedly a Naruto neglect fic; it's my current hyperfixation.

The usual bullshit ensues. Minato seals Kurama on Naruto's twin, using Naruto's chakra as a sacrifice, making him chaktaless.

Then they leave the village for Shikkotsu Forest to train Mito because they think the slug contract, medical ninjutsu, and slug sage mod will be a better fit for her instead of the toads, and also because Tsunade promised that if she became the godmother to their daughter, she would take Mito under her wing.

They obviously leave Naruto behind to be raised as an orphan and plan to make it up to him once they come back, the whole shebang. They leave Kakashi with very specific instructions to make sure Naruto is safe before dropping him in the orphanage.

Their logic is, since Naruto is chakraless, he can't be a shinobi, meaning he will probably be adopted by a civilian family and live a normal life.

Cut to sixteen years later, and they are back: Minato, Kushina, Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Mito. They were tense and excited but tense and wary. They did not expect the reunion with Naruto to go smoothly; they expected shouting, anger, and everything in between because even if Naruto now has a family he grew up with, it does not change the fact his parents abandoned him, but they are determined to build bridges.

There's just one little problem.

Naruto is not in the village anymore; in fact, he hasn't been in the village for six years. As it turns out, Kakashi was too busy trying to commit suicide via S-rank mission in the ANBU to keep an eye on Naruto; meanwhile, Naruto lived in absolute hell because people needed a scapegoat, and the chakraless freak was the perfect target, so the whole village banded together in the Naruto hate club.

By the time Kakashi pulled his head out of his ass and remembered he had a charge to protect, Naruto had already fled the village at the ripe age of ten, because why the fuck would he stay in a village that treats him like garbage and tries to kill him on a regular?

Whatever the outside world has to throw at him, it can't be worse than what the village has already done, because if his future involves dying in a ditch anyway, he might as well try his luck in the big wide world outside the village's walls.

By the time Kakashi realized he fucked up big time, whatever trail Naruto could have left behind had already gone cold, and Naruto dropped off the map. Suffice to say, Kakashi got an ass-kicking when Minato and Kushina returned.

Now Minato, Kushina, Mito, Tsunade, and Jiraiya are living with the guilt of what they have done and looking for Naruto without any success, while Naruto himself somehow managed to not only meet Haku and make him his boyfriend but also convince him to leave Zabuza (he didn't; Zabuza let go of Haku once he saw that he was happy with Naruto and he could have a chance at a life that isn't soaked in blood), and now the two of them live happily in a small village on a peaceful island far away from shinobi fuckery, building a life that is theirs only.

Naruto is also furiously working towards saving money to buy a nice ring and pay for a nice wedding once they get older, because Naruto loves Haku, and he will put a ring on that man's finger come hell or high water.

This is a continuation of a previous post of mine where Izuku is the biological son of Bruce Wayne and has a quirk that makes him Schrödinger from Hellsing.

Here's the original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BokunoheroFanfiction/comments/1u4c01l/crack_idea_batman_is_furiously_trying_to_keep/

And here's the better description of the quirk.

Izuku's quirk is Schrödinger's cat. Izuku is basically the embodiment of a quantum that makes him have the terrifying, god-like ability to exist everywhere and nowhere at the same time mechanic, and he is not limited to just space; it is also time. He can be anywhere and nowhere in time; he is also both alive and dead at the same time, meaning he cannot be killed, and it is all based on his sense of self. Heck, he can even enter people's minds, dreams, and technological devices like computers and TVs. If he thinks he is in a place, he will be at that place; if he thinks himself alive, he will be alive even if he got killed—basically self-resurrection. Heck, he can even use his quirk to teleport others with him.

Now, onto the post.

It was three in the morning, and Bruce was reconsidering his life choices as he stared at his children across the table. More specifically at Izuku, who looked deeply apologetic; at Cass, who had a left black eye blooming and split lip; and at Damian, who until three seconds ago was dying of blood loss from a stab wound in his left thigh and now is good as new. He also is looking at the stylized golden carpenter hammer and the portal gun on the table.

Bruce, pinching the bridge of his nose, explains.

Izuku: Sheepishly, which part first?

Bruce points out to Damian and Cassandra, "Why do they look like they were in a fight?"

Izuku: So, you know how I can go into other people's dreams and how I can also teleport others with me, right?

Bruce: I am aware.

Izuku: Right. Dick suggested that I might be able to bring others with me into the dream world and into other people's dreams.

Damina: Cass and I volunteered to test that hypothesis.

Cass nods in agreement.

Damian: It worked. Also, so we decided to have a spar in the dream world.

Izuku: Which quickly went off the rails once they used that Tibetan monk technique to turn dreams into lucid dreams, and next thing I know, they are swordfighting with swords that weren't there before.

Bruce: Let me guess, Damian got a big gash in the thigh.

Izuku: Yes, and a not-so-fun fact: what happens to you in the dream world also happens to you in the real world when I am involved.

Cassandra: Signing, I named it, pulling Krueger, like Freddy Krueger.

Bruce: Takes another deep breath. Very creative, Cass.

Cass: Signing, you're welcome, B.

Bruce: Turning back to Izuku, that explains the panic and the blood, but what about these?

Bruce points at the Portal gun and at the golden hammer.

Izuku: Well. Damian was bleeding, and I panicked and accidentally teleported into my favorite comfort movie, Wreck-It Ralph. Then I saw Felix's hammer, and I remembered his hammer can fix anything, including wounds, so I teleported to the end of the movie and grabbed the hammer, but I was still panicking, so instead of teleporting back, I ended up in the game Portal and accidentally grabbed the Portal gun. Then I teleported back and used the hammer to fix Damian.

In that moment Cass grabs the hammer and hits her face with it, inflicting her damages; at the same time, Damian grabs the portal gun and opens a portal next to the glass of water at the end of the table and another right next to him and reaches for the glass through the portal.

Izuku: Well. It looks like I can also bring back fictional objects with me from movies and games, and they still work.

Bruce in that moment closes his eyes and counts to ten, then to a hundred.

Bruce: The three of you are grounded for three weeks.

Izuku, Cass, and Damian: fair.

Bruce: And for the love of everything that is holy, nobody tells a word about those to Talia.

Talia Al-Ghul: Coming out of the shadows like a demon, too late, Bruce turns to Izuku. Hey kid, ever thought about joining the League of Assassins?

Bruce: Talia, no!

Talia: Talia, yes!! He is wasted on you, Bruce; the League of Assassins can and will bring out his potential better than you ever could!

Selina: Bursting through a wall Kool-Aid Man style over my sexy dead body, you wench! Keep your paws away from my pussycat!

Just for funsies, this is also DC Comics x My Hero Academia, and everybody here is 18+.

Izuku's quirk is called "lifeblood," and it allows him to bring to life anything he feeds his blood to, well, almost anything. The quirk has rules.

Lifeblood can only bring to life things that resemble living things, like animals and humans, be they real animals or fantastical ones.

Izuku calls what he brings to life golems, which means, for example, if he wants to use his blood to make a horse golem, he has to find something horse-shaped; he can't just feed his blood to a brick and expect it to turn into a horse.

The minimum requirement of blood to bring a golem to life is one single drop of blood. Every drop of blood equals 24 hrs of life; the more blood the golem is fed, the longer it can remain active.

Golems don't need food, water, or rest, and they don't feel pain.

Just to make it abundantly clear, unless the golem in question is to resemble a specific person or animal, they just need to be vaguely shaped like a living thing to be animated, and the golems have a few very characteristic features.

First, they all know they are not real; they know they are in borrowed time and know how much of said borrowed time they have, and they don't give a fuck. For them, it's just normal; they love to serve, and then they die if they don't get more of Izuku's blood. They don't suffer existential crises or any shit like that.

They are also somewhat indestructible; if they get damaged or destroyed, they regenerate, but doing that shaves off time of their borrowed time, and above all, they are absolutely loyal to Izuku; they don't even question. He is their creator, and his word is law.

Through testing, Izuku discovered a few interesting things about his golem. First and foremost, he uses his blood to make golems out of toys, like, for example, let's say, action figures. The golem in question will have the powers, the skills, and the personality of the hero in question, but not the memories since the golem itself would have been born just that day, and the power would be scaled according to the size of the figure used.

For example, if he turned a Superman action figure to life, it would have Superman's powers, but it wouldn't be as powerful as the real Superman because it is smaller than the real deal.

That was the first way a golem can resemble someone. The second way Izuku found out when he got curious about what would happen if he mixed his blood with someone else's blood. So with Inko's help, he mixed a drop of his blood with a drop of her blood and fed it to a clump of Play-Doh he had shaped into vaguely resembling a human shape, and lo and behold, the golem that came out of that was exactly like Inko's memories and all.

That's when he found out that if he mixes his blood with someone else's blood and uses it to make a golem, the golem will be an exact copy of the person whose blood he mixed with his, and no matter what the shape of what he is feeding the blood to has, it will become the person whose blood was mixed with his.

Now you may be asking yourself, where do the hyperrealistic dolls come into play, right?

Well, Izuku wanted to be a hero, but he is in a conundrum; you see, he knows his quirk is OP and a game changer, but he still needs an edge. He thinks he can get that edge by animating a life-sized hero statue, but those things cost two fortunes, which he has none of.

So while he was cleaning Dogoba Beach, because that's a good workout and is free, he stumbles upon something that is both the answer to his prayers and God telling him to go fuck himself in the same breath while Satan is laughing his butt off in the background.

He finds a huge, huge box of hyperrealistic sex dolls, used hyperrealistic sex dolls. They were naked and ragged and had a lot of holes in them because apparently whoever owned them beforehand got bored with the holes they came with. They stunk to high hell, but above all, they were free.

He was also thinking of the stars; he was alone there, or else he would have some very awkward explanations to give to any passerby.

Izuku felt dirty, not just because those dolls were for sure a biohazard, but also because they were copies of some of his favorite heroines. There was Powergirl, whom he was avoiding looking at her gaping nipples at all costs; Hawkgirl, who was just a limbless torso and missing her wings; Black Canary, with her mouth sewn shut and her throat slit; Vixen; Fire; Supergirl; Zatanna; Nubia, who, like Hawkgirl, was missing her limbs; and Big Barda, but the depraved crown jewels of that were Wonder Woman, not just one, but two of them. One was the normal Wonder Woman he saw on TV, and the other was the seven-foot-tall witch mommy Absolute Wonder Woman he remembers got stranded in this reality and got the internet into a gooning frenzy. None of the dolls had clothes on, mind you.

Well, it wasn't a mystery what he was going to do. He needed muscle to carry that box back home, where he would explain to his mom that he found his edge for the hero entrance exam and that he was not a degenerate, and no, he didn't put his dick in them; God knows where they have been.

So, he poked his finger and fed seven drops of blood to the absolute Wonder Woman doll. The repairing of all the extensive damage alone cost three of those seven drops, meaning Absolute Diana only had four days to live before she returned to be a now pristine sex doll, but it worked, and now Izuku has very naked seven feet, which Amazonian Mommy built like a siege engine at his service, and after they managed to scavenge some clothes for her, they bring the rest of the dolls back to his apartment.

Long story short, the league, who were watching the UA entrance exam, see Izuku commanding his golems, the two Wonder Woman and Power Girl, during the exam and are intrigued, so when the exam was over, they bring him in for questioning.

Powergirl is laughing her ass off when Izuku explains how his quirk works and how he got his hands on the dolls he used to make the golems, and because Batman is a control freak, he runs some tests on Izuku's quirk, and they find out that if Izuku mixes his blood with someone else's blood and feeds it to a vessel that is already exactly like the person whose blood he mixed with his, the resulting golem will be a perfect copy of the person whose blood he mixed with his, memories and all, but they won't need to feed on his blood to continue living, becoming a permanent golem with all the golem powers, the indestructibility, the no need for food, water, and rest, and the absolute loyalty to Izuku.

They found that out when Izuku mixed his blood with the blood of the Absolute Wonder Woman and got it to his Absolute Wonder Woman golem, and that's how Izuku found himself the newest Justice League liaison with Spot for him as soon as he graduated from UA so the league could keep an eye on him.

The heroines are not pissed at him either; they have made peace with the fact the world will use them as gooning material, and they tease him mercilessly by asking him if he has ever tasted good, to which Izuku goes red from head to toe while saying no.