u/Mirelune00

it's pretty late and I'm still awake. Hirap hanapin ng antok. Ikaw, bat gising ka pa?

I honestly don't know what to do anymore.

I'm unemployed, we're behind on rent, and our electricity bill hasn't been paid for two months. I'm the eldest and I've always felt like I'm supposed to be the one who provides, but right now I can't even make sure there's enough food for everyone for the entire day.

I'm trying to find a job, but how do you even get a job when you have no money? Transportation, requirements, food while waiting for your first paycheck, everything costs money I don't have. I'm trying to find WFH work, but nothing has worked out so far.

Tonight I went on Whisper because I just needed someone to talk to. I wasn't looking for anything sexual. I just needed to vent.

Instead, I got men hitting on me. One guy offered me money for nude pictures and videos.

And the worst part is... I actually considered it.

Not because I want to. Because I'm desperate.

When you're worrying about whether your family will eat tomorrow, you start thinking about things you never thought you'd consider.

I feel so fucking helpless. I'm tired of being the eldest, the responsible one, the person who's supposed to figure everything out.

I don't need anyone to fix my life. I just want someone to listen without wanting something from me.

I'm really scared right now.

Ang bilis ng heartbeat ko. That very heavy feeling when you are about to cry... Things are not going so well in my life. I just want to end everything now. I'm tired.