u/Mo3shin

I work at an after-school program, which is usually pretty chill, but my coworker is making it exhausting. It started a year ago with repetitive "dad jokes" that I forced myself to laugh at. Now, he constantly tells the kids that I’m going to dance for them, which creates awkward situations where dozens of kids are pestering me while I’m trying to do my job.
He also regularly yells or whispers "señor" to get my attention, only to look away when I face him. If I am quietly working, he repeatedly asks if I’m okay or tries to guess my mood just because I’m not smiling. Being asked this constantly is incredibly aggravating.
Worse, he uses the kids to "cheer me up" by telling them to give me hugs, or promising he will buy them McDonald's if they do. This is a massive issue because we have a special-needs student who already struggles with personal space and clinginess. I am actively trying to teach her boundaries, but his behavior completely derails that progress.
Finally, he constantly makes passive-aggressive comments about my schedule. Because I shift-out an hour before him, he constantly jokes to the kids that I should stay late until 6 PM so he can go home early instead.
Even when I give completely generic, unamused responses, he fails to realize his jokes aren't funny. I have autism myself and struggle with certain social cues, but his complete inability to read a room is on another level. I dreaded coming back after the summer break hoping things would change, but it is just as bad as before.

>!So I work for an afterschool program which honestly can be annoying sometimes because kids misbehave but for the most part, it’s pretty chill however I have this one coworker, who I usually didn’t mind having at first and he would make these small jokes which I thought were Dad jokes so I would just laugh it off. Unfortunately he keep telling those same jokes over and over and I’m forced to force the same laugh. A few all the times he would have this joke where he would tell the kids that I’m gonna dance or something which I don’t even understand what the joke is supposed to be but then he will tell the kids saying that I’m gonna dance for them and now it’s awkward because I’m just trying to do my job and I do not want to have million kids asking me to dance or whatever.!<

>!Sometimes he will randomly yell or quietly say, “señor” to get my attention and when I look, he’s doing something else so mos!<t of the times I just ignore it pretending I didn’t hear it but sometimes it’s not enough because he’ll eventually try to get me to speak. Other times he’ll ask if I’m OK just because I haven’t spoken even though I’m just quietly doing my job and tries to guess my mood just because I’m not smiling even though that doesn’t literally mean I’m upset if anything, him asking me that question over and over again is what’s making me mad. Another thing he does that I don’t like is telling random kids thing to give me a hug as some type of weird joke as a way of “cheering me up” even though I’m not even sad at all. I don’t blame the kids, of course because they don’t know any better and they’re just following the adult but there is one special-needs girl who is very clingy and does not let go and I have to keep prompting her that she needs to learn to keep hands to herself especially since a lot of children in the program feel uncomfortable when she gets very clingy and all up in their personal space and I’m trying to help her overcome it but because of him he’s making it harder and it’s making me more and more annoyed.

Another example of this is what they would tell them that I would buy them McDonald’s if they hugged me, which makes it even more annoying. The last thing he does that I don’t like is making this one joke about how I’m gonna work overtime because I usually leave an hour before he does and apparently he thinks it’s a funny joke to say I should work until six and that he can go home instead which I don’t know if it’s jealousy that I leave earlier or not but it’s actually getting on my nerves. Even if I give a generic response, he still can’t understand that I didn’t find the joke funny didn’t makes me wonder if he struggles with social cues or have autism or anything cause I have autism myself and I do struggle with cues too but I feel like he seriously can’t miss the cues by that much.

I apologize for the long rant this has been happening since when I started my job a year ago and I took a break this summer and I was loathing going back because of this but I tried to give the benefit of the doubt thinking he wouldn’t do that anymore, but I was wrong.

I am a high functioning autistic person in university and I have always been against drinking but recently I have tried it with my roommates and I can’t lie it feels relaxing and nice and I have been more social and confident talking to them and their friends. Only thing i regret is getting black out drunk and waking up with a massive headache and feeling like I was being too weird or annoying despite my roommates acknowledging my autism and accepting me for it and telling me that they don’t mind when I speak. Does anyone else feel like this?

EDIT: no I do not drink every time just to socialize, only on very special occasions that I do that I’m sharing my experiences based on. I do not ever drink when I’m sad only when I’m in a good mood and very rarely provided it’s a special occasion

Becoming America Volume 2, Henkin & McLennan

isbn: 9780077275617