u/MollyViper

I’m on day 13 out of 28 and time has never moved slower than this! Tomorrow I’m only halfway and it feels like torture.

Weed is survival for me and the best anxiety medication I’ve ever tried. Now it’s just constant anxiety after each workday and I’m really struggling. Weed has been my way of resetting for the next day.

The whole reason why I’m on a break is because I can’t get high for more than 30 minutes any more and it’s just not feasible in the long run. There’s no way I can afford to smoke 8g in 2 weeks, it used to last me a month. So even if I got my hands on some it would be dumb to smoke it right now.

What do you do to get through yours?

This is quite a long post, but I wanted to add context. TL;DR at the end.

I had my last full bowl of weed Tuesday this week. Wednesday I smoked the little tiny bit of kief I had left.

I feel like using a dry-herb vape ruined my tolerance somehow, I’ve been using weed daily for years without my tolerance being affected too much, but after buying a dry-herb vape this year my usage increased like crazy.

The last batch I bought (8g) was less than two weeks ago and I’m already out. The same amount used to last me a month! So I decided I’m not buying more after this, but I couldn’t even buy more if I wanted to since this month is already going to be a hassle financially. Besides, I can’t even get high for more than 30 minutes anymore no matter how much I smoke. And the high I get isn’t even that satisfying.

Anyway, the point of the post is that I don’t know what I’m experiencing right now is withdrawals from weed, if I’m depressed, or if it’s both.

The hints of an oncoming depression/burnout started at the beginning of the summer. I had had a lot going on at work. I’m severely underpaid and I’d been nagging my boss for a raise because of the increase in responsibilities at work, she said she agreed and that she would discuss it with the higher-ups. Instead she surprise demoted me. So I need to start looking for a new job, but I love my co-workers and the children I work with and I’m so invested in them (preschool teacher).

In May, I was dumped by my girlfriend. I saw that as a positive thing considering neither of us weren’t actually happy in that relationship. I sought solace in my best friend and we ended up developing feelings for each other. She and I had always joked about how we would be the perfect couple, so it didn’t really come out of nowhere. A few weeks after that, I moved into my current place. All of this happened within a month.

My whole summer has been pretty eventless, I have spent a lot of time with my best friend turned girlfriend and meeting friends, other than that I’ve been home, taking it easy while getting high. I needed a few days to recharge every time I had done something because of feeling so exhausted.

Last night I attended a barbecue with my girlfriend and her friends, we had a lot of fun and I was really having a good time, until I no longer did. My girlfriend noticed a shift in my mood towards the end of the evening and asked me what it was, but I couldn’t place it.

On the way home I realized that I’m showing a lot of signs of a oncoming depression. No appetite, no energy, no hope for the future, nothing feels as fun anymore and wishing I’d just get a terminal illness or something so I wouldn’t have to struggle so much (I have been struggling with periods bad mental health my whole life). I broke down as soon as I got home.

Today I feel so broken. I contacted my doctor as soon as I woke up and I have an appointment next week already. Weed is illegal here but I’m thinking of bringing it up regardless.

But it’s just constant pressure on my chest, I feel so sad and hopeless. I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to do anything, I don’t even have the energy. It’s Pride tomorrow where I live and I’ve been so excited about going but now I just don’t feel like it at all. I haven’t felt like this ever since I started my current antidepressants 2 years ago. But I’ve also been smoking weed that whole time, this is the first time where I’ve gone more than a day without.

So I want to know from people that have experience with this, are the feelings of complete dread normal? Is there a chance that I’m just going through withdrawals right now? Or did this weed break come at the worst timing ever?

TL;DR: Felt an oncoming depression at the beginning of the summer. A lot in my life happened at the beginning of my summer. Stopped smoking a few days ago bc of financial reasons and bc I can barely get high anymore. Haven’t smoked in a few days and now I feel depressed as fuck. Is this to be expected? Is there anything that can be done or do I just have to ride it out?

I’m still in shock that this happened so I just need to get it out somewhere! And sorry, this is a long one, but there’s a TL;DR at the end.

I was dumped by my girlfriend the other day. It wasn’t out of the blue or anything, we kind of both new that it’s where we were heading after a time of having a completely sexless relationship with no spark. The lack of love was more from her end though, I still have feelings for her but I would never want to get back together, since we’re simple not a good match.

Anyway, after having talked for a bit while packing my bags (we spent most of our time together at her place) I called my best friend Julia and asked if she could come pick me up. Me and my girlfriend split with a warm, friendly hug and we both said "I love you", knowing it would be the last time we’d ever tell each other that.

Julia was there within 15 minutes and we drove to her place. I sobbed and talked a lot the whole evening as she hugged me. The next day Julia went to work, I decided to take the day off and she told me I could stay at her place and that we’d drive my stuff to my place when she got home from work.

So moving forward to the next evening (yesterday) at my place, I started crying again and she hugged me. And with her hugging me we kind of slipped into lying position, so I was lying on her chest eventually. We decided to watch a movie, Death of a Unicorn, which was fucking hilarious, lol. We were cuddling the entire movie. Then she drove home and we decided to meet again today, Friday.

Today was the warmest day in our country so far in 2026, so what better way to spend the day than on a blanket on some cliffs by the water.

On the way there she brought up that it felt so natural to cuddle with me the night before and that she said she was relieved about how not weird it felt. And I said I agreed, it felt good! And I didn’t feel like it was weird either, it was nice. I really needed that!

She said she never cuddles with her friends, but that it felt so natural with me and there’s no reason why we can’t do that. Once again I agreed, indeed, no reason at all. Why shouldn’t we cuddle? It’s just friendly cuddle.

So naturally, while on the blanket, we basically cuddled the whole time. Except for the 15 minutes where we waited for the other one to make the first move.

After a couple of hours of just talking and cuddling we went and got some food, went to her balcony and talked a lot more. I love talking with her because we can talk for hours, my ex basically never even bothered to open her mouth when I tried to initiate a conversation. Just sat there pretending to listen while alternating between scrolling on tiktok, insta or youtube.

Back to tonight: We finished up, we went inside, sat down on the couch and… you betcha! We cuddled! From the second we landed our asses on the couch.

We started watching some comedy show and naturally we started stroking each others arms. Nothing weird, we did it before. I was lying on her chest, though, so I could hear how high her heart rate was.

I think something we both oversaw is that we’re both lesbians with a high libido, both now single and me who haven’t had sex in forever since the sex life died with my ex.

About an hour in to cuddling she lifted her outer top and nodded for me to put my hand in there. I did. The second my hand made it inside I started stroking the side of her chest and tummy. Her heartbeat sped up real fast. We kept at it for a while, until she would ask me how I wanted to do tonight, if I was going to stay the night or go back to my place. I said I wasn’t sure, and that she made it hard to want to leave. She said she was also enjoying herself so much with me and that I was more than welcome to stay if I wanted to.

We started cuddling more… intensely and kind of harder. Lots of squeezing. Breathing in each others scents. My other hand was placed alongside her body, so close that she was afraid she was lying on top of it. I carefully tested the waters by carefully stroking the side of her thighs. She was wearing shorts and I started to lightly grace her thighs with my nails.

My mind was obviously racing the whole time, I couldn’t understand how this was happening. Because even though we’re both lesbian, we’ve never looked at each other that way. But now I was really looking at her like that, you know? The whole time she has known me, I’ve been with my girlfriend. So we’ve had no reason to look at each other like that. I also think it’s a bit too soon since me and my gf broke up the day before yesterday.

I was suddenly so turned on by her and her heart rate and heavy breathing told me that she felt the same.

Out of nowhere, she offered to drive me to the metro. And here’s basically a recap of the conversation that followed:

"Oh, I’m not staying then, I’m guessing?"

J: "I would really like you to, but I think it’s getting a bit too cozy. So I think it’s best that you leave now so that things won’t go further. Or at least where I’m imagining things will go".

Me: "I get you. We’re both adults, though haha."

J (laughing): "Yeah, that just means that we should stop even more"

Me: "Sure, but I meant, we’re both adults so we’ll know when we’re going too far"

J: "But… will we stop then? Also, you just broke up with your ex and you and I can both be pretty impulsive and I don’t to ruin our friendship."

I became quiet for a bit.

J: "Hey! Take it as a compliment"

Me: "Trust me, I am. And you’re not imagining a thing. I’m where you are and I think you’re right. I should probably go"

We sat up, looked at each other and smiled. Both blushing as though we had painted our cheeks with rouge. What followed was a lot of awkward silences, giggling, fumbling and dropping things. Between the awkward silences we talked about what just happened. How nice it was. The confusion about what just happened.

We continued like this to the car. We talked about how we both really wanted this but how we shouldn’t. At least… not yet. If it ever happens, of course. It shouldn’t. We both really want to. Not yet. If ever. Not yet.

I spent the whole train ride home thinking want to sleep with my best friend… I can’t stop thinking about how much I want to sleep with Julia. And how there’s going to be sexual tension between us every time we meet from now on until we finally do it.

TL;DR: I (F39) almost slept with my best friend (F39) after spending several days together cuddling, talking following my breakup. Hugs for comfort turned into cuddles, cuddles turned into sexual tension. We stopped ourselves because it is too soon and we didn’t want to risk our friendship. Now I can’t stop thinking about her and the sexual tension that’s going to be there every time we meet after this. Until we finally bonk each others brains out.