u/MomReadsLateAtNight

Its not necessary, I make enough milk, I exclusively breastfeed because pumping was making me depressed. Formula is great for those who need it. But for those who don't, its so frustrating having it thrown in your face as the "obvious solution". Just because it works for you doesn't mean it works for me. I wish people would just respect my choice to exclusively breastfeed and the lifestyle ive chosen to accommodate that choice...

I am in a really great position to be able to stay home with my infant. We are renting from my Inlaws and our goal is to save enough over the next year or two to go buy our first home. My inlaws don't live in the house with us, and our relationship with them is a bit rocky. But we are making it work. Any and everyone I talk to about our situation immediately jump to "move out, your inlaws are bad people, just leave" well we cant right now and its only for another year or two. "Then get a job, pay for daycare, give your baby formula and stop complaining, clearly you cant afford to be a SAHM"

Its so frustrating... My husband makes great income, me going back to work would result in my income paying for the $1800+ daycare costs. I would only have maybe a few hundred extra to put towards savings, and that's dependamt on the job I get and the hours I would have to work. I don't trust anyone but my husband and I to watch our child. I would also have to pump tons of breastmilk and pumping negatively affects my mental health, formula isn't right for my family, and that's ok.

I wish people stopped acting like life is so black and white. That if its not perfect then you have to do what they say to make it perfect, even when their suggestions would just create more chaos in your life. Heaven forbid you complain in this economy, suddenly you're a terrible mom for being at home with your child 😒

We are stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. We are renting one of my Inlaws houses for a few hundred less than the mortgage and this was agreed upon for several reasons. With the falling out between my Inlaws and us they have decided to use the house as leverage to get their way, most of it is empty threats and legally speaking they cant do even half of what they try to dangle over our heads, but none the less my husband and I are stuck in a hard spot. We either pay the full mortgage and our relationship with my Inlaws is strictly landlord-tenant or we continue to pay the subsidized price (so we can comfortably save for our own home in the near future) and we "work on our relationship" so they can have "access to the house when their in town and a relationship with our child".

Personally? I would pay more, cut them off, and take longer than we hoped to leave them in the dust for good. But realistically, I know that's not within our best interest. I just hate the idea of having to play pretend for another year or two and give them any sort of access to my home or child, even just once... My FIL comes into town once a week for work and stays with us every other week, he stays with my SIL when he's not at our house. But shes moving away soon and he's expecting us to house him every single week... The thing that pisses me off is that he 100% doesn't need to come into town, he can work from home, but chooses to come in anyways, and lies to us that his finances are tight and we agreed he could stay long before we made this move so we cant turn him away. He could just be honest and say he likes to have control, or that he just enjoys the opportunity to see his son and grandchild. Lying about the "why" makes me hate him, its an extreme invasion of our home, our lifestyle and our privacy.

Anyways, the narrative has changed and now they are claiming my MIL was supposed to have the same kind of access, even my SIL. According to them the house was always supposed to be like a "center point" for the family. Had this been expressed to me from the start I would have NEVER agreed to move into the damn house... Im pissed that they change things up and demand we accept it. Not only is it illegal but its rude. My MIL is not welcome to stay in our home for multiple reasons, but the biggest one is that she stole from us the last time she stayed. She hasn't been welcome to stay since that incident and they think we are being unreasonable. How? You stole several items from my home and lied about it, then exploded when we called you out on it. Now that we have a reasonable boundary in place you guys wanna act like we are being "unfair". Im so tired of them acting like children... Its disgusting...

We are supposed to get together next week to have "the talk" where we air out our issues and attempt to make good with one another... Im not interested in the slightest at "making good" with either of them... My MIL is wretched and extremely mentally ill. She should be medicating, but refuses to because she's "holistic". The woman has the worst case of Borderline personality disorder I have ever encountered in my life. Recently she spent an hour texting my husband about how she hates me, im ruining the family, im demonic and so on, then an hour later sends me a vague apology email, saying sorry for nothing in particular. From her perspective that email was a first step and me not responding "hurt" her... I wasn't born yesterday. Speaking ill of me to my husband for an entire hour straight, him having to defend me and try to get her to see her flaws, even warning her that sending an apology email was a bad idea, and her sending one anyways is absolutely disingenuous to me. The flip in such a short time screams mental! Im not gonna accept her half assed apology email after knowing all the things she said about me over the last few months, but especially the hour before. Her behavior hasn't changed. The apology isn't for me, its for her, a change in behavior is for me. How she's nearly 50 and hasnt learned that life lesson is beyond me!

I just want to be done. I don't want them in my life. They don't deserve to be in my child's life. Im finally breaking the cycle of abuse ive been stuck in for nearly 10 years and I refuse to subject my baby to it all. Im a mother, my job is to protect my child from harm. How would I be doing my job if I allowed such abusive people to have any sort of relationship with my sweet and innocent child? I know the pattern, i know the instability, I know that if I allow them to be in my childs life that the day WILL come when they hurt my kid. I wont let that happen. Its causing strain between my husband and I because he was conditioned his whole life to accept the abuse since "that's family", and I know in his heart he wants to protect us, but he's scared to lose his family. I wish he could see that he can have his parents without having to involve me and our child. Its gonna take him time to come to terms with it. But the stress of it all bearing down on us right now is a weight I'm so tired of carrying. I wanna be done so bad!!!

Sorry for the long rant! Just needed to get this out somewhere I know others would understand my pain 🥹

Its my first mothers day since giving birth to my baby. And ive had this mothers day planned for over a year. I have confirmed with my mom on numerous occasions that I will be having dinner with her after my day plans with my husband and baby. But I guess that's been thrown out the window because my siblings are immature.

My mom sent a message in our family group chat with all 6 of us kids in it. Im the youngest girl mind you, little brother is in his early 20s, oldest is in their mid 30s. We are all grown adults, but many of us have some sort of conflict with one or more siblings right now, the oldest isn't even speaking to our mom. But she decided to send this message about mother's day plans in the chat anyway, knowing I am the only person who ever responds to anything there. As predicted I was the only one who responded to her text. Idk if anyone messaged her privately, I know at least 1 other sibling has talked to her since that message because they talk daily. But I guess not getting responses after a couple days really irked her so she canceled her mothers day.

Im honestly annoyed with her tantrum. Im not sure why im being punished for everyone else's behavior. I have some issues with a couple of my siblings right now, but nothing so major that I wouldn't be able to be in the same space as them and as far as I know vice versa. There are a few conflicts that are "don't wanna be there if so and so is there" but none of those have anything to do with me. I don't ever really expect much from my family, im not even confident i'll get happy mothers day texts. The way I'm treated has changed ALOT since I got pregnant last year and even more after having my baby. I think it has a lot to do with them not being able to accept that I'm a grown woman with a family of my own and I cant be treated like a child anymore. But it is what it is at this point. Im happy with my life and don't genuinely need those relationships to make it whole.

I just needed to vent because im disappointed in my mom and feel like she's not really considering how important this is to me as a new mom. Im hoping she will come around once she's calmed down, but she might stay angry and let that diminish our relationship. I just feel kinda done with everyone's crap... I haven't done anything to deserve all this.