Following the sad death of TV Legend Penelope Keith, there is now only ONE surviving member of '70s BBC classic 'The Good Life' still alive - the peerless Felicity Kendall.
I began to worry how much longer she might have left, so I investigated how old each cast member was when they died, and consequently was able to extrapolate that Ms. Kendall will reach the ripe old age of 95! Phew! (See graph attached).
As she is 79 now, this means we can enjoy another 16 years of her comedy talent - proven by maths!
Picture the opening scene: a family goes on a walking holiday in the Alps. They take a wrong turn, straight into Nazi Austria?!
They’re forced to perform in a huge talent contest, which they win.
As a reward they are given a beautiful house, yet over time the loving husband gets colder and more distant, and eventually takes up with some Baroness. He begins to control his children using a bo’suns whistle.
The wife becomes erratic, resorts to vandalizing curtains and singing to herself all day long.
Eventually she abandons her family and - singing a deeply ironic song about having confidence - goes to live in a nunnery where everybody thinks she is an immature idiot. The humanity!
Featuring such songs as
“Seventeen Going On Sixteen” “Descend Every Mountain” “Do Re Mi “oD-eR-iM”
Guys, I'm enjoying the new TV version of Cape Fear. I enjoyed the 1991 movie too, and I even went back and watched the '62 original.
But then I noticed something. The 1991 film is some 23 minutes longer than me original. Big deal you may say, and you'd be right. But the new 2026 version runs for eight hours.. That is a significant leap!
Now sure, we don't need to be too worried at this stage. They are remaking Cape fear at roughly 30-year intervals. But it's increasing on a superexponential scale each time!
And if that doesn't cause the blood to freeze in your veins I don't know what will.
Because that means the next remake in 2056 will take nearly four days to watch. 2086's remake? Nearly 5 months.
And then, my friends, we hit the event horizon. 2116's edition will take over 40 years to watch! Half a lifetime for some!
... But they won't have time to watch it! Because the next installment will come along 10 years before they finish! We will simply never be able to watch 'Cape Fear' fast enough before the next one comes along.
And then I'm afraid humanity is doomed. 2146's remake will last 14,700 years. That's longer than the Holocene period.
The only thing we can do now is slam on the brakes NOW, before it begins. Just watch the first three episodes of the new TV series. Then stop watching. Apple must learn, not for the sake of our children, but for the sake of our children's children. And their children's children's children's children.
Thank you.
(Sorry for going on a bit with this, but I'm just really trying to avoid going over to my in-laws.)
Picture of the opening scene: a family walks over the Alps into Nazi Austria by choice They run straight into a huge Nazi concert, which they win!
Later they retire to a beautiful house, but over the time the husband gets colder and more distant, and eventually takes up with some Baroness. The wife resorts to vandalizing curtains and singing to herself all day long. Eventually she abandons her family and children behind and goes to live in a nunnery where everybody thinks she is a fucking idiot. The end!
I would very much like to see a Terminator-based musical. Kyle Reese & Sarah's meet-cute serenade... "Come With Me If You Want to Live, Laugh, Love"?
Or ..
"Under Pressure" a final farewell from the T800 as the hydraulic press descends...?
Yes please.
I would very much like to see a Terminator-based musical. Kyle Reese & Sarah's meet-cute serenade... "Come With Me If You Want to Live, Laugh, Love"?
Or ..
"Under Pressure" a final farewell from the T800 as the hydraulic press descends...?
Yes please.
Dunner dunner dunner dunner dunner dunner dunner dunner Bat LAWNMOWER!
Bat LAWNMOWER!
Bat LAWNMOWER!
Dunner dunner dunner dunner dunner dunner dunner dunner Bat LAWNMOWER!
I'm wearing this t-shirt around the neighbourhood while running some errands. I'm straight.
A male neighbour asks **"Oh, do you?"*" in a bantering tone. I reply "A bit: I really like musicals, interior design, and ice cream".
I watch him walk away with gay panic in his eyes, silently mouthing "....ice cream?"
Enjoyed it so much I've stayed out and about and done it to two more fellas. Simple pleasures.