u/Moonie345

Hey fellow professors, I was recently hired at a SLAC in a small social science department.

My chair, who is the only other faculty member in my subdiscipline, recently met with me to go over rough drafts of my syllabi. They essentially took a red pen and shredded a lot of what I wanted to do (and what I’ve successfully run in classes before.) Everything from my course objectives (apparently Bloom’s taxonomy isn't a thing in this department) to my midterm design was shot down because my chair personally finds those approaches 'not useful.'

It feels like a lot of their feedback is coming off as my decisions were made arbitrarily rather than rooted with my experience. I’m fine for different views and opinions, but often the comments come across as if I’m just wingin’ it.

While I intend to be a good soldier and make the edits, I’m struggling with the dynamic. I’m in my mid-30s coming in with recent pedagogical and industry experience; my chair is in their mid-60s and has spent their entire 30-year career at this single institution.

It’s creating some...interesting interactions.

Do you have any advice on how to work within this situation or environment?

Edit: I understand that this is not normal from a lot of institutions. But I really don’t wanna rock the boat. I should note as well that they often used “I’m not telling you that you have to do XYZ, just from my experience in this program” sort of language. But they did mention that if I keep the midterm as it is now, they would want to see the results. I didn’t wanna comment that most of my colleagues outside do the midterm this way, I just remained silent on that. The other big comment was the student learning outcomes, which they wanted them to be shorter, simpler, and vaguer, as they have to argue the assessment to accreditation. Our accreditation is not discipline specific—like CACREP— it’s one of the big regional ones. But the conversation on that did make it seem like I didn’t know what I was doing, but I do. It felt a little ‘professor to student’ which irked me.

I am currently in a fairly large group practice, and we have a great admin person, a waiting area, a back room, etc. But I am thinking more and more about shifting to a private practice. But I have some practical questions, so any help would be greatly appreciated!

For those who provide in-person services in private practice, how do you organize your office? Do you rent, like, a one-room suite in an office building? Do clients wait out in the building's hallway?

In a series of wild events, I will be teaching in an online MS Clinical Mental Health Counseling program this Fall! While my colleagues are great, I would love any advice for educators and students in online programs. My entire education (undergraduate, master's, PhD) was in person. I took some online classes, but I am feeling overwhelmed. My colleagues have provided me with great LMS templates that comply with CACREP standards and the like, but I would love any advice or guidance!

Hey men—straight, gay, and otherwise.

Lady here. I grew up in a pretty progressive socially that is community. I never expected a man to do those very traditional dating moves. For example, if I ask a man out , which I’ve done before, I will pay for the mewl or coffee.

But I have recently been seeing a man who carries the same views as me but grew up far more traditional in dating culture.

He opens car doors for me. Always. And buildings (which is fine cause he’a super tall and will beat me there.) He also does other smaller things, but the car door has been the most obvious. Weee also under 35 so I’m curious if its an age thing.

When I asked him about it, he has joked and just said he’s chivalrous.

So I’m curious, man, do you open car doors these days still? If your partner wants you to would you? Do you find it weird? Be you in hetero or same sex relationships.

For those who choose one, what was it and why? Curious to see y'all's choices :)

Hey :)

So like many of you, I am a plus-size girlie. I have been with men before who have mostly been tall and skinny. However, for the past few months, I have been seeing what you can call, I guess, an "armchair bodybuilder". He is very dedicated to his fitness and strength training. Early on, it was a bit weird for me, just as I do work out, but he is super dedicated, and he has some lady gym friends who have very different bodies than mine. But he has told me he only dates plus-size women and has been with women way bigger than me (and even some adult stars). Also being with someone so muscular and like traditionally masculine a new for me

Because he has such a restrictive diet cause he has to limit his intake to about 7,000 calories or whatever, he often cooks regular people meals for me. He enjoys cooking, but can't really expand. And he cooks really good, healthy food for me. He also does a lot of physical chores for me, if that makes sense.

But like always. I haven't really cooked anything for myself for a while. Even when we go out, he buys the food. Or he offers it if I get a coffee at Starbucks. Snacks while we watch TV or something too—he gets it for me. When we go out to eat, he orders apps (sometimes 2 or 3 but that is sometimes for him?) and always asks if I want dessert at the restaurant or elsewhere. At first I thought it was just him being nice and generous, and while he doesn't push, he did say that he enjoys seeing a woman (ie me) enjoy herself. Even when we are intimate—whcih is libido is like way higher than what I am used to—he is so much more comfortable being with a bigger girl than previous guys.

And then the other day I was over at his place. He was working from home. I got hungry so I went to make me a snack and he came in and jokingly said that I should have texted him. He made this passenger princess bit that we have together. I pushed back and said it was fine and got a bit more purposeful and told me to go back to the show and I'll make the snack. I didn't want to get into it, so I did, and he brought me this great snack plate and even an iced coffee lol.

He has never made a comment about my weight besides being positive. I work out, but he doesn't even give me advice or try to insert himself into that. He knows where I am in where I am happy and healthy. He does not like "feed me" directly like I know some people are into (no shame here! Just being specific.)

I don't want to overthink it and ruin it. As I feel like I am trying to find a red flag, but I have been here before and it makes me wonder.

Let's be positive!

What is your most proud academic accomplishment (or win!) to date?

For those who have passed, I am curious what your EPPP scores. If I may, what did you pass with?

For men who go to therapy, how has it helped you specifically? Is that why you started?

There is a potential that I will accept a job in Crete, NE. However, I would like to live in Lincoln for my own sanity.

The commute seems to be around 30 minutes.

Is that insane for the area? Anything about that commute I should know?

Hey hey,

'Tis that season where I am, where we are having some interns from local (and online) MS clinical programs join the practice. (I am at a larger, medium-sized group practice.) I am semi-new to this practice and now advise and supervise new counselors.

But I do not know how to handle Gen Z therapists...

I am really struggling. They often disregard my advice, ignore boundaries, and I am just having an overall struggle connecting and training them. It feels like everything I say, they just disagree with because I said it–and I am not that much older than them!

Does anyone have any similar experiences?

Hey hey,

'Tis that season where I am, where we are having some interns from local (and online) MS clinical programs join the practice. (I am at a larger, medium-sized group practice.) I am semi-new to this practice and now advise and supervise new counselors.

But I do not know how to handle Gen Z therapists...

I am really struggling. They often disregard my advice, ignore boundaries, and I am just having an overall struggle connecting and training them. It feels like everything I say, they just disagree with because I said it–and I am not that much older than them!

Does anyone have any similar experiences?

Hey!

I get drinks every now and again with some of the therapists in my area, many of who work are at the most prominent group and private practices in my city.

The discussion of online graduate programs. Many of them were saying that they are denying (or not hiring) therapists who come out of those programs—both like Walden, Cumberlands, etc. but also from, focusing on the newish ones, coming of some brick and mortar programs. For them, they struggle working or training them given massive gaps in basic counseling. Some of my colleagues even had some pretty "eeek" stories.

Is anyone else seeing or hearing this? Are there concerns about online programs, be it CACREP or not?

So I am not sure if this is for this thread but I thought some fat girl good news and humble brag is warranted.

I am finally in a relationship with a relationship forward man who listens and is willing to do the work.

I’ve always loved flowers, but I’ve never really talked about my love of them in terms of receiving them as a gift. I mentioned it briefly the other day, and I came home to a bouquet with the note “a big beautiful bouquet for my big beautiful girl.” I was having a rough day and work and he took notice.

I broke down as no one really has done this before. He got freaked out that I started weeping. When I told him what it meant, he just said like “they’re just flowers. I’ll buy them whenever you want.”

Keep up the fight, y’all. Your man is out there.

(I know that some don’t like the term ‘big’ but I’m OK with it and he knows that. And I like being called his big girl.)

Hey hey -

How often do you, as a man, pay for a date or general stuff when in a relationship? I’m asking with regard to dating a woman, but I guess it can apply to same-sex relationships.

I know it’s culturally common knowledge that men always pay, I’m curious how often that is true.

I recently had some girlfriends of mine, told me that their boyfriends by them a lot of general things throughout their week, especially when it relates to things like makeup or other feminine products.

Hey hey :)

Any suggestions on where to find good & cute modest tops but mostly dresses that don’t look frumpy? A lot of what I am finding has exposed shoulders, mostly, and low cut in the front. A lot of the fabric is also from what I’m finding really thin.

Xoxo, M