u/MountainNews5211

I can’t tell if I’m on the right dose or not

I’ve been taking vyvanse/elvanse for about 9 months now, and the clinic that diagnosed me and originally prescribed me the medication dropped off the face of the earth. The issue with my clinic is a long story, so I won’t get too side tracked, but essentially my GP agreed to prescribe me my medication after my psychiatrist went MIA.

My family doctor has been very helpful, but he’s a general doctor and not specialised in ADHD medication. He can essentially prescribe me medication, but I never went through a traditional titration.

In terms of dosage, I’ve moved up twice (20m to 30mg, then 30mg to 40mg). Because I never had a titration, I’ve just taken a dose for a few months until I think I thought it stopped working, and asked my doctor to up my dose. I upped my dose every 1 or 2 months in the beginning, but I’ve been on 40mg for around 5 months and felt pretty good on it.

Lately though, I’ve been having some issues and I can’t tell if I need to move up, or not. Because I don’t have enough guidance, it can be stressful trying to work this out myself. I’ll try explain what’s going on:

\* I’ve been in a rut, lately and my body is feeling stressed. Tasks are feeling overwhelming, and I feel symptoms of AUDHD more than ADHD.

\* I’ve been struggling with doomscrolling, and cheap dopamine sources

\* In the past I have noticed that my meds work better when I am less stressed and organised (sleep, diet exercise, etc). I had a meltdown a few weeks ago, and I have been in a heightened state since. I’m sure that stress is a factor in this. I also haven’t been exercising as much in the past few months.

\* Feeling more reliant on caffeine, which is odd because normally I can’t stomach more than one coffee on meds.

Essentially, I’m really confused because I can’t tell if my meds aren’t working as well because of stress, and being in a rut.. or if I’m in a rut and feel stressed because my meds aren’t working?

At times I feel wired and question if I’m overstimulated, but I’m struggling with the executive function to look after myself which feels like it could be from being under stimulated either. Am I going towards cheap dopamine because my meds aren’t giving me enough, or is the cheap dopamine having an effect on my meds?

I’ve been taking vyvanse/elvanse for about 9 months now, and the clinic that diagnosed me and originally prescribed me the medication dropped off the face of the earth. The issue with my clinic is a long story, so I won’t get too side tracked, but essentially my GP agreed to prescribe me my medication after my psychiatrist went MIA.

My family doctor has been very helpful, but he’s a general doctor and not specialised in ADHD medication. He can essentially prescribe me medication, but I never went through a traditional titration.

In terms of dosage, I’ve moved up twice (20m to 30mg, then 30mg to 40mg). Because I never had a titration, I’ve just taken a dose for a few months until I think I thought it stopped working, and asked my doctor to up my dose. I upped my dose every 1 or 2 months in the beginning, but I’ve been on 40mg for around 5 months and felt pretty good on it.

Lately though, I’ve been having some issues and I can’t tell if I need to move up, or not. Because I don’t have enough guidance, it can be stressful trying to work this out myself. I’ll try explain what’s going on:

* I’ve been in a rut, lately and my body is feeling stressed. Tasks are feeling overwhelming, and I feel symptoms of AUDHD more than ADHD.

* I’ve been struggling with doomscrolling, and cheap dopamine sources

* In the past I have noticed that my meds work better when I am less stressed and organised (sleep, diet exercise, etc). I had a meltdown a few weeks ago, and I have been in a heightened state since. I’m sure that stress is a factor in this. I also haven’t been exercising as much in the past few months.

* Feeling more reliant on caffeine, which is odd because normally I can’t stomach more than one coffee on meds.

Essentially, I’m really confused because I can’t tell if my meds aren’t working as well because of stress, and being in a rut.. or if I’m in a rut and feel stressed because my meds aren’t working?

At times I feel wired and question if I’m overstimulated, but I’m struggling with the executive function to look after myself which feels like it could be from being under stimulated either. Am I going towards cheap dopamine because my meds aren’t giving me enough, or is the cheap dopamine having an effect on my meds?

I experienced a burn out last year, and decided to move back to my parents in the countryside to reset. Before moving home, I was living in a city that was stimulating, but the grind weighed me down. I wasn’t able to keep up with balancing work, a social life and my finances and everyday began to start feeling stressful.

Moving home has been great in terms of recovering from my burn out, but I think that I have isolated myself throughout my recovery. Having less social pressures felt like a breathe of fresh air for a while, and throughout winter there was a sense that everyone is at a slower pace, and that it’s okay to socially hibernate, but now that’s it’s coming into summer I am starting to feel like everyone is out living there life, and I’m lonely.

Where I’m from is quite rural, and it’s been about 10 years since I’ve properly lived here. I have friends who live about an hour or two away, but meeting up requires some planning. Ironically, by the time I realise that I’m dysregulated from lack of socialising, I start to struggle with all the steps required to travel and meet my friends. I also feel like the pressure to mask my dysregulation is draining.

I actually have a partner of 5 years, who moved back with me. While our relationship is overall good and I’ve actually been feeling lonely in our relationship too. I love that she respects my needs for alone time (and she likes her space too), but I think that’s on both sides it’s gone too far. We’ve gotten into a system where neither of us really hang out at home, and although I’d feel overwhelmed with a clingy partner, we’ve went on the opposite extreme and It’s too easy to say no to each other if one of us doesn’t want to go out to dinner, or do something together.

Overall, this all stemmed from self preservation, but all of a sudden things are hitting me harder as the summer comes in. It’s difficult being lonely, yet so easily overstimulated.

**TLDR; I burnt out, and isolated myself socially and in my relationship. It felt fine in the winter, because winter is a slower pace, but as the summer comes in I am starting to feel incredibly lonely. Ironically, feels harder in my disregulated state, and it’s hard to find the line between socially stimulating myself without overwhelm.**

I experienced a burn out last year, and decided to move back to my parents in the countryside to reset. Before moving home, I was living in a city that was stimulating, but the grind weighed me down. I wasn’t able to keep up with balancing work, a social life and my finances and everyday began to start feeling stressful.

Moving home has been great in terms of recovering from my burn out, but I think that I have isolated myself throughout my recovery. Having less social pressures felt like a breathe of fresh air for a while, and throughout winter there was a sense that everyone is at a slower pace, and that it’s okay to socially hibernate, but now that’s it’s coming into summer I am starting to feel like everyone is out living there life, and I’m lonely.

Where I’m from is quite rural, and it’s been about 10 years since I’ve properly lived here. I have friends who live about an hour or two away, but meeting up requires some planning. Ironically, by the time I realise that I’m dysregulated from lack of socialising, I start to struggle with all the steps required to travel and meet my friends. I also feel like the pressure to mask my dysregulation is draining.

I actually have a partner of 5 years, who moved back with me. While our relationship is overall good and I’ve actually been feeling lonely in our relationship too. I love that she respects my needs for alone time (and she likes her space too), but I think that’s on both sides it’s gone too far. We’ve gotten into a system where neither of us really hang out at home, and although I’d feel overwhelmed with a clingy partner, we’ve went on the opposite extreme and It’s too easy to say no to each other if one of us doesn’t want to go out to dinner, or do something together.

Overall, this all stemmed from self preservation, but all of a sudden things are hitting me harder as the summer comes in. It’s difficult being lonely, yet so easily overstimulated.

**TLDR; I burnt out, and isolated myself socially and in my relationship. It felt fine in the winter, because winter is a slower pace, but as the summer comes in I am starting to feel incredibly lonely. Ironically, feels harder in my disregulated state, and it’s hard to find the line between socially stimulating myself without overwhelm.**

In 2013, I 18 years old on the early days of reddit, and I remember coming across the likes of nofap and anti porn movement subreddits.

At the time, I was 18 years old and wanted to work on myself as I was dealing with issues that I described as “motivation” and “brain fog”. In retrospect, these issues were actually undiagnosed ADHD and It was only about a year ago that I got diagnosed at 30 and began to understand myself better.

Discovering nofap my 18 year old self, felt like I had discovered the answer to all my issues. The way that people talked about the benefits of nofap completely sucked me in and gave me the guidance I was looking for. Unfortunately, 10 years later I can say that it was more harm than good.

All nofap did is create a moral compass and shame around porn, rather than actually help me. I’d also argue that it got me addicted to porn, as it created some kind of tension I didn’t have to begin with. I’d do it for a while, but when I got stressed I would “relapse” and over time masturbation became more of a coping mechanism.

I also believe that there are a lot of overlaps with communities like nofap, that carry ideologies that are too close to “The manosphere” for my liking. At 18, I was like a sponge, and actively looked for guidance. I came across lots of redpill posts at the time, and while I didn’t fall down that rabbit hole (probably because I ended up getting a girlfriend haha), looking back it was a close call.

Now, at 31, I understand a lot more about myself compared to 18. Understanding my ADHD has helped me understand and remove shame from a lot of past experiences, but I find that I still have a bitter taste in my mouth from my nofap days.

Something I’ve realised about porn and masturbation is that shame is the worst, but It doesn’t have to be like that and removing it is half the battle. Seeing Dr Ks video on how our perspective and how we view our porn use can determine how bad it can be made so much sense as someone who has been on both sides of the spectrum (Shameful nofapper/Self acceptance user of porn)

Now with all that being said, I still think that I would like to cut down on my porn use. I find that It’s became something I jump to when I am disregulated and I would like to find other coping mechanisms to deal with stress.

Also, I would love to find some sort of sex positive resources and communities online to help with cutting back on porn.

Hi guys,

I’ve mostly had success with vyvanase, but I have noticed that I have to really look after myself. Honestly, exercise and sleep seams to have the biggest effect, and as someone who hasn’t been exercising as much lately, I have noticed that I’m having more side effects (vasoconstriction, occasional blood pressure spikes and POTS like symptoms, especially when hungover).

I’m aware of what to do exercise, diet, sleep, etc.. But I’m looking for advice on supplements?

I just purchased beetroot extract and L-arginine (wanted L cittruline but the store didn’t have it) for my vasoconstriction issues so hopefully it will help.

In general, I take multivitamins (I just space them from my vyvanse because they have vitamin C in them) and magnesium glycinate. The most noticeable difference is definitely the magnesium, as it can taper off a crash or relax me in the evenings.

I’m not trying to go off on a negative rant, so that’s why I’m asking for success stories. I’m genuinely wondering is it possible to have the same standard of living that the older generation has?

Up until our generation, each generation has seen an increase on living standards from the previous one, but it feels like a lot of people my age are struggling to have what their parents had. It seams like a lot of adults are either stuck at home, or have lowered the living standard they grew up with for independence.

I’m in my early 30s, and recently moved back home. Throughout my 20s I’ve rented around the country, and I’ve lived abroad for a number of years. I’m not going to go too into living and renting abroad, but I would say that the quality of housing was higher in mainland Europe. Single, early twenties me was able to have a nice 1 bedroom to myself.

In my twenties, renting Ireland, I went along with sub par housing, and all the issues that come along with renting. At some point I imagined that my home in my 30s would be similar to the home house, but it feels like if I was to rent a place now, it would be closer to my student accommodation back in the day. For the record, I’m from quite a normal background, and grew up in a semi detached in a housing estate.

Myself and my partner would absolutely love our own place, but there comes a point where we would either have to sacrifice all our finances for an okay place, or just live at home. It feels like a lot of adults in Ireland are living at home, on pretty high wages (but not high enough), and have expendable income to spend on what the older generation would have considered luxuries, but at the same time we don’t have the basic pillars like a nice home, and the option to start a family.

Unfortunately, I love it here. Although my time abroad showed me better living standards, it also gave me a fresh perspective on home and as I get older I like to be closer to my family. Myself and my partner are not ruling out moving abroad in the future, but it would be nice to feel like I can imagine a life here where I can afford to rent, or god forbid, buy a house.

Living in the home house is grand for the moment, and I’m taking the opportunity to go back to college. I wouldn’t have the financial freedom to do it renting, so that’s a plus. Hopefully things will improve in a few years.

My partner and I have been together for five years, and over a year ago I got diagnosed with ADHD and traits of autism. I’m not sure if that accounts for full blown AUDHD, as my ADHD is definitely more prominent. That being said, because I don’t come across as autistic, I find that certain needs come across as selfish and I can be perceived wrongly.

I also think that since being diagnosed, I am a lot more aware of certain needs (It’s not like they didn’t exist, but I didn’t know why I was experiencing burn outs).

A huge point of contention between my partner and I is the effort we put into each other’s family. She is a lot closer to my family than hers, and we live with my family.

She’s honestly great with my family, and will even go off on regular days out with my mother. She also has a great friendship with all of my cousins, who are of similar age to her.

For her, the effort she puts in is huge, but it comes naturally. She genuinely enjoys time with my family. For me on the other hand, I get along with her family, but spending time with them drains me more than any other social interaction.

We live about an hour away, so when we visit her family, we tend to stay over. I find that after a weekend with the in-laws, I could need 2 weeks to recover. It can also really mess with a routine, and lead me to dysregulation.

I feel like it’s very unbalanced, and from an outsider point of view, she makes all the effort. At times this is a point of contention, and although she says that she understands, she still gets annoyed at me.

When visiting her family is mentioned, I start to feel anxious and it feels like a lose lose situation. If I can’t bring myself to go, she’s disappointed, and if I go I use up all of my mental energy for the next two weeks.

There’s been times where she sees the aftermath, and how dysregulated I am, and she tells me that I don’t need to visit as much, but after a certain amount of time she starts to get annoyed the lack of visits.

For the record, there are times where I can make the effort, and I found that spending time with her parents outside of their home environment is a lot less stressful. Going out to a restaurant, then going back to my own home is much easier, as I get claustrophobic being a guest.

I’m not sure where to go with this, as I know that the effort is unmatched, but she seams to gain energy from socialising with my family, where as It takes a lot out of me when I try make an effort with hers.

I’m over half a year on Vyvanse, and I could talk a lot about how it’s affected my life, mostly all positive.

When I first started taking it I felt the need to take advantage of everything I felt like I couldn’t do. I viewed meds as something to help with my executive functioning and productivity issues, but honestly the meds have offered more than that.

I guess ADHD doesn’t just disappear with meds, and I occasionally get into ruts. The first time I hit a wall on meds was disheartening as I thought that these cycles were over, and initially I was concerned. Over time though I have gained a bit more experience on the differences between my ruts on meds vs my ruts off meds.

I’ll just write some bullet points on what I’ve experienced, as It’s easier to read:

* Overall I tend to experience much less ruts, and can maintain a bit more of a routine (My routine still changes often, but I think that I can hold down certain staples)

* At times, I do experience ruts. There are certain triggers, like not getting enough alone time or unexpected stress, but I think that I am getting better at noticing patterns. Not sure if I’ve just been more reflective in general to notice these patterns, or if it’s the meds making my mind clear enough to notice them.

* When I do experience ruts, I tend to enjoy them? What I mean by this is that If there’s a period where I’m not productive, and I sit around the house for days.. It actually feels relaxing? Before meds I would sit around and think about how unproductive I am, and put myself under pressure to push through.

* I don’t wake up with a feeling of dread. I wake up, take my meds and It’s like all the thoughts just quieten down. Much less self criticism and internal pressure. I know that the meds haven’t kicked in upon waking up, but I think that my mind has started to relax overall, because I know that the meds will help me.

* Hey, if I spend the day playing video games, and watching YouTube videos, at least I can get into it?

Overall, It’s like there is an almost antidepressant effect. I expected help with study, or easier transitions into tasks, but It just takes the weight of the world off of my shoulder.

I know that these meds don’t fix everything, but I wanted to share my experience, especially something positive as this subreddit gets a lot of posts about side effects.

Anyone relate?

I’m a man in my early 30s, and in a long term, monogamous relationship with the women I intend on spending my life with. I would say that our relationship is healthy, and we are both quite accepting of one another.

In the past year or so, I have slowly came to the realisation that I’m bi. Honestly, this realisation hasn’t came from being in denial or anything, but rather that I have became more accepting of myself in general. Coming into the end of my 20s I started to be less judgemental towards myself, and over time a part of me I didn’t really understand began to open up. I guess self love is huge.

Another part of this realisation was just understanding bisexuality. Like a lot of people, I thought meaning bi meant liking men and women equally, but for me It feels like I’m attracted to 95% of women, and only 2% of men. I have no interest in masculine men, and I’m attracted to femininity and androgyny over all genders. Before understanding the spectrum, the stereotypical notion of bisexuality didn’t resonate with me, but through reading experiences of bisexuality I started to relate.

My partner is actually bi, and in the past I have said that I am probably a little bi, but it wasn’t a serious conversation. Her being bi makes me feel like I can eventually talk to her, but other times I feel bad for keeping her out of the deeper reflection I have been having to myself.

Something else I feel guilt about is porn. We are both fine with porn, but for some reason I feel guilty about porn that leans more bi? Ironically, I tend to watch more bisexual porn, as I can do all of the things that cis heterosexual porn offers, with my partner..

Eventually I will tell her that I’m “more bi than I thought”, but It’s been a process for myself. How do I feel like I’m not hiding something from her?

Another question I want to add is how do I express my bisexuality, and explore it monogamously?

I’m very much 0 or 100 when it comes to my interests and hyper focus. There’s been times where I have been super into clothing, and times where I care a lot less. I would say that I am a fan of self expression and style rather than into fashion.

I’ve had times in my 20s where I’ve worn quite out there outfits, and times where I have been very casual. I can’t tell if it’s that I’m in my 30s now, or if It’s since my diagnosis, but I have noticed that I tend to wear clothes that feel comfortable rather than fashionable.

Honestly, I’m happy to lean into comfort, especially in the winter as It’s cosy, and I get a sense of self care in wrapping myself up for the weather.

In the past I found that I loved making an outfit, but there was always something stressful about it. I used to buy items of clothing that were very specific and only matched with a small number of items, and in hindsight it was a waste of money and took up too much brain power making sure finding and making sure certain items were clean to match.

Now, I do love the mental peace of having a wardrobe that works together better, and not forcing myself to deal with textures i don’t like, just because it looks good.. But as an ADHDer, when I do make an effort, I get a boost and self expression can be very important to me.

Where do you guys fall? Also, If anyone has any tips on how to balance to urge to dopamine dress vs enjoying my comfort let me know!

32 years old, back in Tipperary after living in Dublin, Barcelona and London for most of my adult life.

I suffered a burn out a few months ago, and decided to move back to Ireland. I was living abroad for the majority of my twenties, but coming towards the end of them I felt like I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life, and a late ADHD diagnosis gave me a lot of clarity to why I was burning out trying to keep up with adult life.

A few months ago I packed up, and came home. Overall, It’s been the best decision I have ever made, as I have a great support network back home, and the lack of financial pressure has allowed me to take time off to recover from burn out, and work towards a better future.

Initially I had planned to recover from my burn out, and move off somewhere else, but over time I have decided to stay at home as it gives me an opportunity to go back to university as a mature student. Living abroad, working any sort of job was fine for me when I was younger but I just see myself hitting another wall if I move somewhere unqualified.

For context, I have worked for most of my twenties, but I believe my ADHD caused a lot of issues with my education/work and I was never able to stick with something for more than a few months. In a way, I feel like I have an opportunity to start over and go back to college with a lot more perspective and tools to manage. I’m honestly pretty confident, as my ADHD treatment has been going well, and living at home means that I can focus solely on my degree.

Now, all of this makes sense, and this can be viewed as a privilege more than an issue, but It does feel like I’m taking one step back to move two steps forward eventually.

With the way housing is in this country, I can’t imagine I’m the only mature student in this position, and I’m sure there are adults who are at home to save for a mortgage, so I’m sure people relate to this outside my specific situation.

While I’m happier, and feeling like I’m moving towards a direction for the first time in my life, I miss my life and who I was when I was living away from home. I miss having my own space (even if I struggled with all the responsibilities it entails), and I don’t really feel my age these days.

It’s a confusing feeling because I’m proud of myself for calling it, and admitting I wasn’t happy with my direction and starting over again, but at times my self esteem can take a hit because I had to sacrifice my Independence for my mental health and future. Again, a one step backwards to move on step forward situation.

What can I do to feel like more of an adult? How can I gain back that sense of self that comes with autonomy, and how are you guys living at home dealing with it?

32 years old, back in Tipperary after living in Dublin, Barcelona and London for most of my adult life.

I suffered a burn out a few months ago, and decided to move back to Ireland. I was living abroad for the majority of my twenties, but coming towards the end of them I felt like I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life, and a late ADHD diagnosis gave me a lot of clarity to why I was burning out trying to keep up with adult life.

A few months ago I packed up, and came home. Overall, It’s been the best decision I have ever made, as I have a great support network back home, and the lack of financial pressure has allowed me to take time off to recover from burn out, and work towards a better future.

Initially I had planned to recover from my burn out, and move off somewhere else, but over time I have decided to stay at home as it gives me an opportunity to go back to university as a mature student. Living abroad, working any sort of job was fine for me when I was younger but I just see myself hitting another wall if I move somewhere unqualified.

For context, I have worked for most of my twenties, but I believe my ADHD caused a lot of issues with my education/work and I was never able to stick with something for more than a few months. In a way, I feel like I have an opportunity to start over and go back to college with a lot more perspective and tools to manage. I’m honestly pretty confident, as my ADHD treatment has been going well, and living at home means that I can focus solely on my degree.

Now, all of this makes sense, and this can be viewed as a privilege more than an issue, but It does feel like I’m taking one step back to move two steps forward eventually.

With the way housing is in this country, I can’t imagine I’m the only mature student in this position, and I’m sure there are adults who are at home to save for a mortgage, so I’m sure people relate to this outside my specific situation.

While I’m happier, and feeling like I’m moving towards a direction for the first time in my life, I miss my life and who I was when I was living away from home. I miss having my own space (even if I struggled with all the responsibilities it entails), and I don’t really feel my age these days.

It’s a confusing feeling because I’m proud of myself for calling it, and admitting I wasn’t happy with my direction and starting over again, but at times my self esteem can take a hit because I had to sacrifice my Independence for my mental health and future. Again, a one step backwards to move on step forward situation.

What can I do to feel like more of an adult? How can I gain back that sense of self that comes with autonomy, and how are you guys living at home dealing with it?