u/MrsPoopyButthair

Tonight has been ROUGH. My husband, step-son, and I were at some friends' house. My step-daughter was at home. Around 10:30 we were packing up to head home and she was heading to her mom's because thanks to the power outage at our house she didn't have dry bedding.

Moments later she calls me hysterical. What I can gather is that there's a dog in the road and "it's still breathing." I do everything I can to provide her calm reassurance, I tell her to park her car right in front of it, put the hazards on, and get out of the roadway to be safe. That we'll be home as quick as we can. And we are.

A tiny bit about me. I am a softie who can't harm any living thing. My husband had to save me when I got swarmed by yellow jackets. I basically shut down because I didn't want to squish them. It's amazing what you can do for your kids though. We got there. I hopped out of the car and it was immediately apparent that the dog was no longer with us. My daughter breaks down bawling again. I start barking orders. Her dad (who bless his heart only wants to help both the women he loves most in this world and can't simultaneously) I redirect to comfort his daughter. My best friend and I work to get this poor baby out of the road in the rain.

Once this sweet creature is to safety I take over with my daughter and her dad moves the car. I genuinely could not be more proud of her and her heart. She spent that whole time in the rain singing sweetly to it. I do everything I can to make sure she's knows she did everything right and everything she could. Loving and saving animals can be incredibly rewarding. We rescued the sweetest rat snake ever from a busy parking lot last weekend. Sometimes trying to save animals is brutal. What matters is she did everything she could and someone loved and cared in the dog's final moments. He wasn't just alone and afraid. I promise her we're going to get him cremated and bring him home.

I then have to call several places to eventually find an emergency vet out of town that has enough freezer space to allow me to make good on my promise to my daughter. I load up this poor baby and now that all dramatic parenting matters are settled I'm back to being the person who'd rather get stung than harm an animal and I'm hit by the full force of it. I cry on the way there. I cry while we're there. I cry on the way back. I asked my daughter to pick a name before we parted ways. She texted me that she picked Orpheus. My heart breaks and melts even more.

I'm home, and I'm back into task mode. This dog might have had a home. I mentally kick myself for not taking a photo, but I was stretched past the limits of my emotional bandwidth between my kids and myself. Still, this might have been someone's dog and if so I want to provide them closure and also let them know he was comforted and sung to by the sweetest girl on the face of the planet in his final moments. I hope that's got to be some small comfort compared to other possible tragic endings. I can't decide which I hate more while I'm doing this: the idea that no one loved Orpheus or that I have to tell someone that Orpheus died. As I search the various local lost pet groups, that decision gets made for me.

I don't think I've ever apologized more in a message. I also said numerous times I hope I'm wrong. I think to myself it was dark and rainy and there are a lot of tan mutts in the world. I hope, hope, hope they get reunited with their dog soon. Now I'm really kicking myself for not getting that photo, but also kind of glad that I don't have to send them a photo of their dead dog. I do let them know of the comfort provided, of the sweet songs sung, and that if in 2 weeks they haven't otherwise been reunited, then I will have some ashes that probably mean even more to them than they do us. I'd still be crying as I type this, but I'm emotionally drained. I take comfort in the fact that I provided enough comfort and reassurance to my daughter that she could sleep soundly. Since she wasn't responding to her brother's texts, I think I did a great job as a mom tonight.

I hope I'm not breaking any rules, this is a genuine request. Thanks to my wildly low blood pressure my cardiologist wants me to get 10,000 mg of salt a day. I prefer to get as much as I can on my food, and I think it'd be really fun to carry some in my purse in a container that looks like it's meant to carry a different, similar looking substance. Bonus points if it has its own tiny spoon.

I'm lucky enough to have some acreage despite living pretty centrally to downtown in my city. Not because I'm in the urban-acreage tax bracket, but because this is what you get when you buy an as-is, run-down 100-year-old frankenhouse from the family that raised four generations in it. I love a weird old house, but mostly I'm a dirty hippie who wanted to turn the land into a little urban wildlife paradise. The tradeoff is I meet some characters in my yard.

I was heading out to grocery shop when I spotted a car parked off my driveway, tucked behind a couple of trees. People wind up here by mistake all the time, so I rolled down my window to point them in the right direction. The driver cracked his door just enough for me to see one eyeball.

Me: "Can I help you?"

Him: "We're just having a conversation."

It was very obvious he was not just having a conversation. Suspicions were later confirmed when I backed up behind his car to wait for him to leave and watched a head come up from his lap.

Me: "Well, this is my home."

Him: "Yeah, we just wanted some privacy."

Me: "I'm sorry, but you'll have to find it somewhere else."

Him: "Yeah, we'll be done in a few minutes."

Me: "No. I'd like you to leave now."

To add to the incredible audacity of asking me to wait for him to finish getting his dick sucked:

Him: "Hey, who mows your yard?"

Me: "...A guy named Mark."

Him: "Does he come regularly?"

Me: "Yep."

Him: "If you ever need yard help, I provide that kind of service."

My dude.

You brought a sex worker to suck you off in my driveway, at my home, with my kids, expected me to just let her finish the job, and then tried to land yourself a landscaping gig?

For the record: I'm 100% pro sex work. I wish it were legal so it could be regulated and made safer for the people doing it. But you're not going to turn my driveway into a brothel. If you can pay to get your dick sucked, you can pay for the no-windows motel a few miles up the road.

Hey all! As the title says, I'm going in for my first appointment getting an airbrush spray tan tomorrow. I also got surprised with plans to go over to a friend's house for board games tomorrow evening. I was going to wear long sleeves and long pants so only my hands will be exposed, but is there anything else I should be doing or other precautions I should take to make sure I don't leave bronze stains in my wake? Also, any other advice for a first timer?? I've already got disposable underwear and I've been advised to do all my showering/waxing/shaving/exfoliating four hours beforehand.