u/Murky-Recipe7387

I started drinking alcohol just before I turned 18. I remember having so much fun with friends hanging out and just drinking and chatting. The last year or even more though I’ve started drinking by myself more frequently. I’d say I drink by myself more than with friends at this point. I currently drink 2-3 times a week on average, rarely once and sometimes 4 times.

Yesterday I lied to my mum about meeting with a friend just so I could drink alone at the park and ‘chill’ by my lonesome. I’m not sure if this is normal behaviour but I was so bored and still hungover from Saturday night that I wanted to chill in nature with a few drinks and listen to music. I’m in quite a strange period in my life, I recently got fired from my job for reasons not related to drinking, although I was still drinking this frequently when I was working.

Once I start drinking I find it very difficult to stop, or just don’t care enough to. I find it honestly a bit baffling that lots of people can have maybe 1 or 2 drinks and be satisfied with that. If I am out with friends or family for drinks, I’ll figure out a plan so that I can buy more drinks by myself to continue til I go to sleep. Does this sound like a problem? I feel like the fact I’m only 23 might help a little but it’s starting to affect my overall mood, motivation and progress at the gym. Despite these negative consequences, I still find it difficult or simply don’t want to take a break from drinking. Sorry for the long rant I just needed to vent tbh.

I was supposed to work yesterday, although I text my manager saying I had an emergency doctors appointment to go to and that I won't make it in time for my shift. He asked to leave a doctors note in the office when I'm next at work, although I didn't have an appointment. Instead, I walked into town for a couple hours with my work clothes on, telling my mum that I was away to work.

It was a sunny day and i was feeling pretty exhausted and stressed, so I skipped my shift. I feel a lot more guilty telling my mum I had work and pretended to go in than I do about lying to my manager though.

I'm not sure how to work around this situation, as I have a shift on Wednesday and don't have a doctors note to show proof to my manager. I also fear I'll get fired and I don't want to make another lie to my parents about why I got fired. I know this is my fault and that's not a valid reason to skip work, but I hate working there.