u/Murphy4130

1 month ago I get a random txt from my wife, some trouble with one of the kids and a “I’m guna have a breakdown” I ask what’s up? She’s reply’s with I’m just not happy, it feel platonic, I don’t love you anymore.
We are 40 and 41, 3 kids from 4 to 14, new home, big mortgage, 2 dogs, 18 years together and finances that relay on 2 incomes + a side hustle.

Since that initial message things have escalated and some emotional exchanges.
She’s has told me how she “feels” but not what she wants to / needs to do about it. She don’t want a relationship any more, don’t want to be married anymore, wants to shed some pressure (me) and she resents the sex we have been having maybe 1/2 times a week because the love has gone and it’s just become another job she has to do.

She’s is burnt out and overwhelmed, does too much kid stuff with her working from home 4 days a week. We haven’t done any couple stuff for years really, there is too much pressure on money with cost of living, nursery and mortgage etc.
I have neglected her emotionally and I’m in the office 4/5 days a week so most kid stuff lands on her.

I do a lot around the house. I clean, hoover, do all the washing and sort all finances, I do my share with the kids, bedtimes, pick ups drop offs etc. I’m feet present and hold the house down. This has now been criticised as I have control things like the washing and turned it into a process.

We had a catch up last week, got no where and agreed to just settle for one month. She says she don’t want to try fix the marriage and is getting frustrated that I question her feelings and I don’t listen but she’s not offering me any solution as to what next for us.

Some progress was made today when she agreed to some councilling sessions and she is open minded I’ll get them book next week. I’m not sure how open minded she is because I have not seen that side though all of this.

In general, I’m falling apart. I have been trying to hold it down, I have stepped up on a few things I know big her such as getting more sleep, getting dogs out early and leaving her with a clean house before I head off but I’m being eaten alive by grief, hopelessness, fear you name it.
Every day feels like it could be my last, every dog walk, every bedtime story etc. I keep picturing another man taking my place, fucking my wife, putting my kids to bed and taking the life and family I have worked so hard for.
To make it worse, we knew this was going to be a tough year as we finish up nursery payments and in September we had 3 kids in school, £1000 extra per months to ease our stress and open up the family and us as a couple to some more fun times. Now that light at the end of the tunnel that I have been pushing for seems to be fading.
I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to get through each day without tears rolling down my face at the thought of our future ending and all of the last 18 years being for nothing.
This is a long old rant and I’m sorry, I’m just lost and tired of talking to chatGTP about it.
If anyone has work through a situation like this and had a good outcome, let me know.
I don’t need any “she’s checked out,
Move on” comments event though it looks that way. I just need to hear some happy endings to try help me through this 💔

Hello guys.

Have had my MK7 ST 6 months now and want to do some data logging before I think about adding any extra power.
I came from a mapped M135i and have been use to using the MSD flash tool for all my logging needs.

What apps are people using for data logging on this platform?

I have Bluetooth and WiFi OBD adaptors ready to go, just see an app.

Cheers