u/N0mN0mNomad

Consecutive 4 ⭐⭐⭐ chests, legendary and gold in alternative pattern... 😐 should I het pissed off ?

well idk what to say,... I just hoped to receive a better card in 4⭐ chest, while I got legendary in 3⭐ chest

I never grasped this ridiculous stance about misandry and misogyny. Both are equally wrong and have an extreme extent of violence.

So why, some people try to downplay misandry by taking the surface level of it in consideration and compare it with the extreme extent of misogyny.?.?.

I usually avoid such posts,.. but when I saw OP's comment, it infuriated me. She's completely denying the extent of misandry by mentioning it as "future hypothetical harm".

are ppl seriously this stupid to instigate gender-war in 2026 .!?

chose the 'meme' flair coz it's nothing more than a joke.

Context: I’m 26M polyamorous & She’s 22F now, we’re both from same hometown in North Bengal and had known eachother since 2019-20. This all happened in Kolkata 2 yrs back, when she was still in Uni and I was working.

 

In early Jan 2024, we’re on the same overnight train returning to Kolkata. She texted me; while texting one thing led to another and I asked her out on a date, she agreed. ISTG prior to that there was no romantic connection, we used to just talk online occasionally.

 

Knowing she liked elaborate gestures, I planned a surprise date, got her flowers and the chemistry was insane; clicked eachother, talked for hours without noticing the time pass; walked to metro holding hands, smoking cigarettes, having deep convo.

 

She wanted to keep things casual, no expectations tho,… coz of her attachment issues and wanting to explore while she was young. We’re already seeing other people too, but after 2-3 dates I felt something click as we connected on deeper level over our issues, traumas and some morbid stuff. I let her know about my feelings growing and thought of being her ‘safe place’ filled with love, happiness and peace.

 

She also let me know – how I make her feel safe, how I always get her, how she feels emotionally comfortable with me., but no expectations. I had no problem with that, but looking back, it seems she kept giving me false hope of being chosen when she never intended to choose me at all.

 

The pic I mentioned was clicked on 27^(th) Jan when she stayed the night before at my place. We were drinking and getting high together watching movies, I cooked dinner for her, went on a late-night walk holding hands and we talked a lot about us that day. Later that night, we started kissing and making out and when I tried to move beyond, she stopped me, saying….

 

One of her love languages is physical touch, so intimacy leads to deep attachment and then she can only do monogamy. So, she had this fear of ruining our connection as I am polyamorous, she’s not and wouldn’t wanna share me with anyone if we get into something serious.

 

To that I said ‘just because I am poly doesn’t mean I need multiple partners, I can stay committed to you if you want something exclusive’….. she just said she was still uncertain, as she'd leave the city and has issues but didn’t want to lose me.  

 

I felt closer to her than ever before, I felt so secure. The fact that she’s willing to go through the uncertainty instead of walking away meant a lot to me,… it felt like someone was actually trying, rather than giving up before giving it a shot. We started kissing again and fell asleep cuddling eachother while watching ‘Before Sunrise’.

 

NGL I went complete delulu from that point and kept expressing love and care through gestures, actions, gifts, flowers, handwritten notes and however I could. I kept showing up for her even tho she was breadcrumbing, flaking on dates, leaving me on delivered for days. I was soooo happy to have her around, didn’t want to mess things up by confronting her about it, and way too emotionally invested to pull back.

 

For Valentine's day, I got her flowers, chocolates, and a handwritten note,.. though every other guy's flowers made her story, not mine. But the real shocker was right before the Valentine’s week: she told me she had oral sex with another guy she was seeing. We used to talk about our other dates, but it was kinda unexpected given what she said. I kept asking myself  ‘all that stuff about intimacy,.. attachment,.. nothing except monogamy,… was all that lie?! just to avoid me ? is our connection not as special as she keeps telling?’. It left me confused and questioning our whole dynamics.

 

I started asking questions, not confronting, just casually bringing up – how she never reciprocates properly,… neither spontaneously plans anything with me, is flaking on dates and emotionally unavailable for me. There were always vague answers only, and like a fool I only kept hoping she’d reciprocate someday.

 

Anyways she was trying to get this job, which I was helping at every step of it – interview prep, shopping formals, presentation, follow-up mails,.. was so invested into that I thought we'd at least celebrate her win together. 8^(th) March she got selected, I was so excited I suggested that we celebrate, but she said she was exhausted. Only to find her calling me around 3:30 am coz she'd been drinking at a friend's place and couldn't sneak back into her PG that late. She managed to stay there only, but we made plans of this celebration eventually.

 

On 21^(st)  March, to celebrate it I had planned an elaborate date – pasta, liver in mushroom cream and wine. I just got fever the day before the date and was shivering on that day too, yet didn’t cancel the plans. Deep down I lowkey knew if I cancel that, again I’ll get to see her 10-14 days later,… the irony is initially we used to meet 3-4 days apart.

 

She made it more ironic when I reached to kiss her while flirting and cooking. She pulled back instantly saying she’s feeling unwell and anxious about a pregnancy scare after unprotected sex with the same guy from before. I actually never pushed her for any intimacy, because I was more emotionally driven rather than sexually. So I tried to console her in that moment. But she got her periods later that evening and I got her pads, made her hot chocolate and she went back to her PG.

 

I started to realize that no matter what she said, I was just her placeholder; only relevant when she needed a favor. But on 17^(th) April, she casually tells me that we’re not dating anymore, without any prior or proper conversation of ending it. When I brought up what she’d said about not wanting to lose me, she went quiet, a full week of no contact. Then, out of nowhere: “I don’t wanna lose you.” I didn't know what to do with that, so I ignored it, and we went quiet again for a few more days.,… then again on 30^(th) April it had a cinematic turn of events.

 

Dramatically enough we were on the same train back to Kolkata again. We saw each other right before boarding,.. she waved at me smiling. We’re both with our parents and I just had an ugly fight with mine before getting to the station, so I waved back in that confusing moment, and we went to our separate coaches.  

 

Then I got a text from her, and I started talking back like a fool, lowkey hoping for some reassurance or something after that “I don't wanna lose you”. She switched to my coach since she was travelling alone, and I was a familiar face. Shaken from the fight with my parents I couldn't bring myself to discuss that text, she also didn’t. So we kept making small talks, smoked cigarettes together in washroom (always had this partner-in-crime vibes), watched a series together until we felt sleepy fr.

 

 

After reaching Kolkata, we shared a cab so that I can get off on the way. After getting into the cab, she called this another guy on her own,… giving him updates and asking about his day. After she hung up, I asked, “dating someone new?” She told me she was kinda seeing him seriously. In that moment I got more emotionally vulnerable and confused thinking why she’d even kept me on hook giving hope, saying all the sweet things she never meant, when she never intended anything at all.

 

I was already emotionally worn down and just blurted out, “why couldn't it be us?”.,.. she started saying “umm…you know,… we talked about this” – same vague answers,.. I just cut her off with “never mind,.. sorry for asking”. Being on the verge of breaking down, didn’t want to show her any more of my vulnerability,… I pulled myself together without letting her see it and get off the cab at my stop.

 

Even after that, she occasionally texted whenever she needed something, once even sent ss of my dating profile with “hey lol” (don’t know what that was supposed to mean) and that’s how months passed,… Eventually in Nov 2024 I thought of finally getting closure and finally cutting her off. I asked her to meet, and she agreed too.

 

Just before going there, I was wondering what if she’d respond in a dismissive way, invalidating the hurt she’d caused me,… so I just didn’t meet her that day and lied about having fever, and I actually cut her off fr this time. Didn’t block her tho, coz I don’t block people unless I have enmity with them. 

 

Almost a year later, in Oct 2025 I noticed her liking my insta story and still that picture was pinned. I didn’t know what to do about it,… the day I clicked the pic was special to me and I had so many emotions behind that pic,… at some point I thought of confronting her. But, she might disregard it saying ‘it’s just a picture, it’s not that deep’,… why is she doing this? and how do I handle it without giving her the satisfaction of knowing she’s living rent-free in my head?

 

TL;DR: Dated a girl casually for months while we both saw other people. She kept giving me false hope saying “don’t wanna lose you”, but flaked constantly, stayed vague about reciprocation, breadcrumbed me while being available for others in ways she never was for me. Cut her off in Nov 2024 and she's still using a photo I took of her wearing my clothes. Trying to figure out what that even means and how I should deal with it.