u/Nearby-Pipe-9312

I’ve been looking at a bunch of profile review posts lately and idk, I feel like a lot of guys jump straight to “am I ugly?” way too fast.

Obviously looks/photos matter. Not pretending they don’t.

But a lot of profiles I see are more like… random proof that the guy exists.

Gym pic. Travel pic. Mirror selfie. Group pic. Some generic hobbies. Maybe a joke that doesn’t really land.

And then everyone is trying to diagnose the whole person from that.

Sometimes I don’t think the guy looks bad. I just can’t tell what it would actually feel like to hang out with him.

Like what’s the vibe? Is he warm? Is he fun? Chill? Curious? Easy to talk to? What would the date even be?

I think a lot of men could probably get better results just by making the profile easier to enter. Less “here are some pics of me” and more “this is what spending time with me might be like.”

Maybe that’s obvious, but I feel like it gets missed a lot.

Hey guys,

I hope this is okay to post here.

I’ve been working on a private 30-day workbook/journal for men who are trying to quit or reduce porn, and I’m looking for a few honest beta readers.

The reason I started making it is that a lot of porn advice seems to start too late and be too focused on willpower.

You relapse.

You feel like shit.

You promise to be stronger.

Then a few days later you’re back in the same room, with the same device, in the same mood, following the same path.

I wanted to build something that looks more at the path into it.

Things like:

What usually happens before the urge gets loud?

What feeling are you trying not to feel?

What is porn replacing?

How do you make the old path harder?

What do you return to instead?

It’s not therapy, not coaching, and I’m not posting a purchase link.

I’m also not looking for praise. I’d rather know if something feels useful, unrealistic, cringe, too soft, too heavy, or just not how this actually works for you.

You don’t need to do all 30 days.

Even reading a few sections and giving first impressions would help.

If you’re 18+ and open to taking a look, comment here or DM me.

If this isn’t appropriate for the sub, I understand if mods remove it.

Hi everyone,

I asked the mods before posting this because I wanted to respect the self-promotion rule, and they said I may post.

I’m looking for a few adult beta readers/reviewers, 18+, for a free review copy of a self-guided 30-day digital workbook/journal I’ve been building.

The idea behind it is simple:

A lot of men try to quit porn by making porn the whole project.

Count days.

Fight urges.

Feel ashamed.

Start again.

I tried that kind of approach for a long time, and it never really got to the deeper issue for me.

The shift that made more sense was:

What if porn is partly a signal?

What if the work is not only to fight porn, but to understand what it has been replacing — and start building more of the real-life things that make you feel honest, present, grounded and alive?

That is the angle of the workbook.

It is not a long essay about why porn is bad.

It is meant to be worked through slowly, one day at a time, by writing, reflecting, noticing patterns, answering prompts, and taking small real-life actions.

The balance is:

Understand the substitute.

Build something real.

It is more for men who may not strongly identify with the word “addicted”, but still know that porn has started taking more space than they want it to.

If someone feels out of control or needs professional help, this is not meant to replace that.

I’m posting here because this feels connected to men’s mental health, shame, avoidance, self-respect and direction — not just “quit porn” advice.

I’m not posting a purchase link here and I’m not trying to sell directly in this subreddit.

What I’m looking for is honest feedback on whether the material feels:

- useful and realistic

- respectful and non-shaming

- clear enough to work through

- actually helpful for reflection, not just another set of rules

If you’re interested in reviewing it, comment here or send me a DM.

I may only send it to a small number of people at first so I can actually read and use the feedback properly.

Thanks.

For men who have tried to quit porn for years:

What actually made a plan useful?

Not hype, not shame, not “just use willpower.”

I mean the practical stuff.

Was it understanding your triggers?
Having a clear evening plan?
Knowing what to do after a slip?
Replacing porn with real-life action?
Having daily structure?
Talking to someone?
Removing access?

I’m trying to understand what actually helps men follow through, not just feel motivated for a few days.

What was missing from the advice you usually got?