u/NeonGenesis03

I (16ftm) have been volunteering at this business for about a year, I'm pretty close with the boss now so I asked if she could write me a letter of recommendation to this program I'm applying to. She said yes, but when I got the letter she exclusively refers to me as they/them. Pretty upset about it. Straight up just edited it myself because I don't want the program people thinking I go by they them.

I'm confused because she and all the other people working there exclusively refer to me as he/him, I've never been misgendered by a customer or anything, so I dont get the switch. I wa lucky enough to start passing pretty early on, but pre t there's always some confusion, so for like the first month or two I got hit with some they thems, but since then nothing. Currently 3 months on t, haven't been misgendered at all in maybe the last 6 months, so I'm really frustrated about the sudden switch up.

I know she knows I'm male because she has refered to me as a boy multiple times. She said she didn't want me or the other male volunteers touching the bras, she assumed I don't know what leggings are, or what the difference between a dress and a skirt is, so I was pretty sure I was being stealth. I dunno, I'm pretty bummed about the whole thing. I can't really think of why she'd write me as they them in the letter. Some theories I came up with that I know are definitely not true are A. She saw how woke the thing I was applying for is and decided it might help me out to be they them, or B. That's just how she refers to everyone in writing.

TW: mentions of suicide

I (16 ftm) came out about 2 years ago. Parents took it pretty well despite being center and dad being more conservative, didn't seem super surprised but were against hormones and surgery. I've been lucky enough to pass consistently after getting a binder and a haircut, but the dysphoria is still killing me. Took a lot of hard conversations and convincing but I finally got a gender dysphoria diagnosis and have been on t for about 2 months now (I am EXTREMELY lucky to get parent who are supportive, live in a very leftist city, and to have insurance that covers it).

I have a friend who's also ftm, let's call him Nick. He came out a couple years before me at like 12, and we've been friends since maybe 14. When I first came out he was hammering in insecurities all the time and was seemingly the least supportive person in my life besides family, this came as a big surprise because he himself is trans! He would tell me how flat my neck was, how wide my hips were, how small my hands were, how I was too skinny and my thighs were too big ect. This was last year but I still was passing maybe 9/10 times, but I convinced myself people were just trying to be nice because of everything Nick was saying.

Nick does not pass at all, I have never seen him be correctly gendered ever. He has long dyed hair, doesn't bind, and dresses more alternative. People have asked if we are boyfriend girlfriend on multiple occasions. He isn't really friends with too many people in our grade but the ones he is friends with are all girls, he does have close male friends but they are in college (Jesus Christ the college guy thing should be its own post it's so weird). He tells me stories about him passing, but I don't really think they're true. He was telling me about how he went to a concert and when he showed his school id the security guard was confused why it said f, our school IDs don't have gender markers.

Recently we were talking about transphobia from guys at our school and he brought up my friends, saying they only misgender him. I said they were chill with me and the other trans guy in our grade (other trans guy passes very well and is very open about being trans, never heard they misgender him), and he started asking why like he genuinely didn't know. I tried to be nice about it and said "maybe its because you have a more alternative style" and he said that me and him dress the same, we do not. I honestly dont know how someone could think he was male or even trans without him telling them directly. He joined the girls frisbee team despite there being a co ed one, he still hasn't changed his name with the district despite it being ridiculously easy, he talks about how he likes being girly and how he wants to have a "girls sleepover", he chose to be in the girls cabin for the overnight, in what world would anyone assume someone who looks talks and acts like a girl isn't one?

Idk, he annoys me. I feel bad just dropping him because I did that before and he turned to dudes 4 years older than us who he considers his best friends. Talked to him sooo many times about how the relationship is weird but then he talks about how it's the only thing stopping him from killing himself.

About a month and a half on t, I would say I'm hungrier and I eat more but I've dropped 3 pounds? I'm already pretty thin (5'7 120lbs) so I don't wanna keep losing weight. I'm afraid to track calories because I think I'll start obsessing over it. I start feeling sick if I eat things with a lot of grease/oil, any healthy but high calorie food ideas?

Just turned 16, a month and a half on hrt (ftm), passing and fully presenting as male. Have not found anyone within my age group in this position (in real life at least), it's crazy. There already aren't really any trans male celebrities, and I know no adult trans men so I'm out of luck for role models. I want to at least have a trans male friend, but I swear to God its IMPOSSIBLE. I have come across many people identifying as a trans guy, but they either don't even try to pass and seemingly have no dysphoria, detransition in a couple months, or actually identify as non-binary but with he/they pronouns or something.

I was ranting to my school counselor about it and she recommended online spaces and this queer youth group therapy thing. Did group therapy once before and really did not like it, plus I already have a therapist and am doing well so I don't really feel it's necessary. With the online thing I can only really find trans men I relate to in trans med places, but I think most people here are older.

There are a million "trans men" at my school, and maybe 2 or 3 trans women but they all just graduated. It's really frustrating, I feel like I don't have anyone I can actually talk to about this stuff with. I have an acquaintance who identifies as trans but he's definitely not, he said he transitioned because of yaoi and often says things like "it's more important to be cunty than to pass" and "I wish I was a girl who was a boy instead of a boy who was a girl" while expecting me to relate.

Really really wish I had someone to guide me or someone going through the same thing as me.

I haven't been misgendered in about a year, but girls often assume I'm gay. I don't really get why. Guys think I'm fully straight and have been surprised to learn I'm bi, girls have also been surprised to learn I'm bi but it's because they thought I was fully gay 😭 i don't get it, I've always had a deeper voice, and I know I'm not getting the gay accent that some people get on t because I've only been on it a month, and this has been happening for a year. If guys also assumed I was gay I'd think it was my mannerisms, but it's just girls. It's not that bad because I like both, but I'd like to have a chance with women.

I have stereotypically masculine interests, I dress fairly boring, I don't openly talk about who I'm attracted to, what's making me come off as gay? My best guess is that it's so rare a teenage guy is nice that they assume I have to be gay but idk.

About 2 years ago when I first came out my mom was very opposed to hormones and top surgery. Now freshly 16 and a month on t, I asked if she'd be ok with me getting surgery before I graduate highschool, she said "yeah as long as you pay for it" (top surgery where I am is covered by insurance, seems like worst case scenario is have to pay $8000 which I can do.) she said she's gonna talk to her trans friend about how it worked for him and then look into it more. Im so hyped, I thought I'd have to do way more convincing. It was a struggle to convince her to be ok with hormones so I thought it would be the same for this, happy pride month

https://preview.redd.it/kqtvu5a5563h1.jpg?width=1958&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bbe1aa161314552bb9e49ea7e4991c978f668fb2

https://preview.redd.it/bim5aa0j563h1.jpg?width=1358&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a23090438d517b29e1605a8053f17df2ba10ec26

I think they are very clearly green but I keep being told different, am I tweaking? No one has ever told me they are green

Tw: I mention eating disorders. This is like half venthalf advice so I'll move it to a different sub if it breaks any rules

I socially transitioned about 2 years ago, and I'm very very lucky so I haven't been misgendered in about a year, by a stranger I mean. All of my close friends are cis guys, and a chunk of them don't even know in trans (if they asked if tell them, but I'm weary because of bad experiences with people finding out after thinking I'm cis.)

Anyway, just started t 2 weeks ago, I'm 15 so it'd be nice to have someone my age to talk about it with, but I just can't find anybody. It feels weird bringing it up to cis guys friends, I'm not close enough with any of my girl friends to feel comfortable talking about it, and I'm scared to out myself to other trans guys irl in case they make a big deal about it. I used to have a friend who was a trans guy, but he would seemingly project his insecurities onto me, talking about how wide my hips looked, how my arms were skinny and had no muscle, and would talk about how fat my hips/thighs/ass was despite me being underweight. Made me develop an eating disorder which led to a bunch of deficiencies and made it take longer to get on t (better now though, focusing on building muscle gas really helped). I really don't want that to happen again. No idea what I should be looking for to avoid that kind of person. Recommendations for where I should look IRL? Maybe teen ftm subs? Idk