u/Nervous-Aside206

I was feeling kind of upset ,, so i was scrolling mindlessly ,, nd the last reel somehow poped of the legend ravi kishan sir ,, nd he said main desi pacino banungga,, pagla toh dunga is desh ko ,, and i was smiling literally giglling ,, i heard this dialogue of him ,, many times already ,, but evertime it makes me feel happy ,, idk why ,, if i am being childish ,, then idc,, big fan sir 😭

i seriously don't know ,, why this always happened to me ,, i dont know my english grammar is right or wrong right at this moment coz ,, right now i cant think ,, anything aprt from him ,, like i coundn't help myself blushing just by thinking abt him ,, is it somekind of thing which i dont know exist ,, its 10 in the morning ,, and i was angry at him ,, but his one reply ,, or i should say only him existing somewhere 7,330 miles far away ,, from me ,, and just existing in my life ,, without anything ,, no title ,, nothing in between ,, no promises ,, no nothing in us ,, ughh ,, how should i explain this ,, but he makes me happy ,, is it a sign waheguru ji ? ,, is the one thing i didnt experience till now are you going to make me feel ,, this one sided too ,, if not then ekad sign uski taraf se bhi banta hai na ,, how can i resist this feeling ,, i dont how to cope up with this ,, with this unsurity ,, well after a moment i was running away from the clarity ,, i feared it ,, but now i want it ,, waheguru ek sign ,, pls ,, bs whatever i dont know ,, i just know one thing,, him existing ,, two oceans away ,, nd here i am making some fake as full imagenery scenerios with him gives me happiness ,, least i can ask you for ,,this, ,, kindly made him stay a little more longer ,, waheguru dekh lo na thoda !!!

my ex contacted me again ,, and said he wants me back said i love you and come back ,, but i denied coz from my side its not possible but after some time ,, i got the feel which was literally the baddest anyone ever had to face ,, he wants to meet me and wants to have sex too ,, i denied i was not ready ,, but the fact that was hurting even more that ,, he was asking for that,, shamelessly ,, like he was making it a guilt trip for me ,, its like a remider why i left that person ,, i still love him ,, he was my first ever love ,, but getting lusted by your first love ,, when he is proposing to you just moments before is the worst ,, !!!, i dont know why i dont have this strength,,, i am weak in front of him ,, like totally vulnerable ,, but my heart now doesnt belong to him ,, its like my heart was saying ,, contacting him again will made you suffer even more ,, i dont want any closure ,, i was happy the way i was before him ,, i dont want anything ,, not love ,, not any practical shit gyaan ,, i do know what exists in this wrold and how it functions ,, but is it wrong to choose myself over anything ?,, khair ,, i dont know how its going to be end ,, but i am praying to god ,, just sent someone who will love me ,, i am sick of this lustfull feeling towards me ,, i accept my love language is physical touch ,, but that after getting love naaa,,, bhagwan ji ,, pls help me to get this cycle end ,, you know what i mean ... #11.11

MUJHE NAFRAT HAI PYAAR SE - aisa meri pretentious typa personality chilla chilla ke sabke saamne kehti rehti hai ,, itna jhooth bhi nhi hai jo hua uske baad darr toh lgta hai , seham toh jaati hu dobaara pyaar me padhne se ,, iske laayak hun bhi ki nhi yeh khyaal bhi kayi baar dimaag aate jaate rehta hai

but

is sab ke baavjood bhi ,, MUJHE PYAAR HAI PYAAR SE - hn , voh chupa hua jo kona hai na jiske thoughts main ab kisi ko bhi nhi btati unme se ek thought yeh bhi hai ki mujhe pyaar hai pyaar me pade rehne se ,, yes its a beautifull feelinng ,, itni ki iske baare me sochte hue , feeling ki bhi spelling galat hogyi ,, aur usi ke baare me sochte hue ,, uski spelling sudharne ki iksha bhi nhi ho rhi ,, mujhe galat mt samjhna ,, main kisi shaks ki baat nhi krr rhi hun ,, main bs is feeling ki baat krr rhi hun ,, saari feelings ,, saare emotions me agr koi sabse bada emotion hai na toh voh yhi hai ,, feeling of falling in love ,,( well you can say that i am a fool ,, and i dont know very much,, but i think they call thi LOVE ) i think everyone once should give it a try ,, without thinking abt whats going to happen ,, how its going to be end ,, just give a chance to love ,, just like everyday we are giving a a chance to our fuckin,, life ,, still living it right ,, ( shitt i am sounding like i am some vakeel of love ) but yup fall in love once ,, and if you experience heartbreak,, thats not bad too ,, at least you experienced something which is rare- LOVE ,, yes LOVE IS RARE,, !!!

these two lines are decribing the feelings in a very bhali bhaanti way ,, but still to describe it a little ,, yes there are things,, that i want to say to him ,, shamelessly ,, hopelessly ,, ,, but alomost everytime ,, i stop myself .

NOT KNOWING HOW I FEEL ,,

NO WAIT ,,

IT'S PRETENDING NOT TO KNOW,,,

HOW CAN SOMEBODY WHO NEGLECTS HIMSELF AND HIS HEART EXPECT ANY LOVE IN RETURN !!!

yes i do miss you ,, but i cant say it i your face ,, i am saying here for the first time ,, maybe its my mood swings or the effect of ,, my second periods day ,, but deep down i know thta ,, these are the only excuses ,, i miss you like everyday ,, like i want you ,, i need you types ,, i may be sounding here like a 19 year old gurl ,, but the feeling is constant ,, i know we talk sometimes ,, but you are this far that ,, sometimes my heart longs for you ,,and says - tera milna bhi zaroori ,, i literally dont know ki is janam me hum mil bhi paayenge ki nhi ,, but that constant lingering towards you ,, even in you absence for straight two years ,, can't erase this feeling ,, even when i was with someone else ,, i sometimes wonder abt you ,, once in while think abt you ,, nd above that this fuckin kismat connection we have from past so many years ,, is above my soch and samjh ,, many persons passed from my life but no one had that effect which you have in my life still ,, after so many times ,, still after not meeting for a single time ,, whoever reads this ,, this may sound imaginery to you guys ,, but it is existing in my life ,, he is existing in my life ,, i dont know kb tk ,, i dont know,, what we have ,, what god decided for us ,, but ,, yes i do miss you ,, nd yes--- Baatein zaroori hain, tera milna bhi zaroori!!!!

kabhi kabhi mujhe yeh bhi lagta hai ki main apne aap ko dhokha de rhi hun ,, yeh jo zindagi main jee rhi hun ,, ya jeene ki koshish krr rhi hun ,, yeh jo vakt main apna na chahate hue bhi ek aise kaaam me deti hun jo main nhi krn achahti hun,, 24 ki umar mein ,, main shayd likhna chahti hun ,, apne har alfaaz ko bayaan krna chahati hun ,, prr yeh bhi sochti hun k ,, koi meri yeh baatein samjh bhi paayega ki nhi ,, prr dekha jaaye toh main kisi ko samjhana nhi chahati ,, main toh bs ,, kehna chhati hun ,, jo main mehsoos krrti hun voh ,, maine kahin suna tha ki writers asal zindagi me km bolte hai aur mehsoos jyaada krte hai ,, dekha jaaye toh sahi hai ,, kyunki mere sahi,, actual jazbaat toh main kisi se bayaan krti hi nhi ,,, isme galti pata nhi kiski hai ,, meri buzdilgi ki ,, ya phir,, mere aas pass mazaud un chaar logo ki ,, jinhone kabhi mujhe aisa mehsoos karaya hi nhi ki ,, main apne bare emotions unke saath share krr sakun,, kabhi sharam ka chola toh ,, kbhi kayarta ki chadar hum khud odhte hai ki hume udaayi jaati hai ,, isee main abhi vaakif nhi ,, prr vaakif hun toh apne is jazbaat se ki ,, main yeh nhi krna chhati jo krr rhi hun,, main likhna chahti hun ,, soch rahi hun ki ,, side by side ,, ek book likhna start karun ,, titled -" me and my barest form of words"- jisme main duniyaa ko bata sakun ki main asal me kya sochti hun ,, prr darti hun ki ,, kbhi mujhe voh mil gya jiski main khwaish krti hun ,, toh is book ka draft sirf mere bachho tk hi limited reh jaayega ,, jinse main unhe publish krne ki ummeed shyad meri maut ke baad hi rkh sakun ,,,.

"dekh tu ladki hai nakhre kregi allowed hai ,, aur main sahunga ,"- vala banda bhagwan ji !!!

This is a very general thought of mine—Bapu did a 21-day fast several times for many other reasons, whether it was for Harijans' welfare or for the protest against arrest without trial. He was highly successful, and many people consider Gandhi's efforts to be the primary reason behind our independence. Very evidently, his photo appears on our national currency... But at the same time, in the current scenario, when Wangchuk tried to do the same, fighting for the most valid reasons (paper leaks, statehood for Ladakh), in the end, he had to face criticism. His image is tarnished in many ways; he even gets condemned as a terrorist, like, WHAT WENT WRONG IN ALL THESE YEARS OF US BEING INDEPENDENT… Like we get what we want before independence from the same marg of Satya and Ahimsa.

I was just wondering. What went wrong?

#cjpprotest

but i cant