u/Nervous-Yard-2856

It's been hard for me to comprehend how intense hocl is on my skin, especially because it's a spray and it's wet... idk it felt like a mist and i feel silly now for spraying so much of it at a time because my skin barrier wasn't improving and i would be drying out within the hour of re-applying creams that'd normally hold moisture for hours.

I'm scared of bacteria exposure/growth, so im regularly doing things like that and using cln wash...

My journey with eczema overall has been a practice in being gentler with myself, and it surprises me sometimes the ways i don't even know I'm clinging to control. Control isn't bad, but my methods of holding on tend to give me just the opposite of that.

My plan going forward is to use fewer irritants so that I'm not ruining the armor that's supposed to be protecting me in the first place. I just feel a little silly for not realizing what I was doing to my skin!

I had an interview for brewista a week ago, and they told me to respond to the email they sent me (to confirm my interview time) if I was interested in working at the stand. I did that, same day, and have sent like 5 emails to them over this past week. I've heard nothing back. I listed my phone number in multiple emails, but still nothing...

They said they need the help and that they're pretty busy. I was under the impression they'd want me to start today/Monday (that was the estimate they gave me), but I'm unsure what's going on.

There's no phone number (just a corporate virtual assistant), so I'm planning to go up there today.

Is this common? Should I have taken a hint and moved on? I just want to start working/training, but I'm not sure what to make of this first impression

UPDATE: they're just swamped; went up there and spoke to a shift lead, woke up to onboarding info on my inbox

It's exhausting to find a job, and I'm tired of looking for something that's not even likely to do more than pay my bills.

I hate having to wait after interviews when it's most likely they already know during the interview that it's not a fit, or they could be upfront about why it isn't a match.

I am going insane without work, and I know I'm painfully capable. Double interviews and long applications... for nothing. It's depressing, and I feel like there's no integrity or common sense in this process.

Just feeling hopeless and angry about the jobs I'm getting passed on. Feels like you have to lick the entire boot to get in the door but also have to prove that you have a life enough to not be obsessed with work or something... do you need labor or not?

Obviously, the answer is not. I know it's cringy to throw a pity party, just feeling disappointed and defeated.

do I quit by never coming back or trying to last for a full two weeks

we've lost over half our mgmt team, so i was scheduled 4 days a week, and now I'm OT every week while in the middle of moving.

the work isn't terrible... if the store had organized leadership and i was being corrected to improve/learn as agm, but no one listens to me or makes time for any initiatives I push unless I yell at them, which is exhausting and a waste of my time. I've been caught in the dilemma of wanting badly to fix things but there's always something happening, like a fire I have to prevent from someone causing or even just putting a fire out that someone else should have seen coming.

Boss has said that she believes 2wk notice isn't worth it because you're just going to get shitty work since they're already out the door, but it'll literally be 2 managers, with maybe a third who stays on for her two available days.

I want to line up another job, but i am so exhausted because moving has been a longer process than expected, and im burnt out and depressed because of the transition as well as being stuck closing pretty much every day. Now we're in season for food safety audits, which is just more stress.

Just need advice. I've worked here 3yrs, but i have resolved that nothing will get better unless upper mgmt gets involved. The lack of urgency to give us mgmt support is the biggest drain on my spirit.

I honestly want to just say fuck it, but i don't want to regret potentially burning bridges if I can't find anything else that sticks.

I know I need to relax or find ways to resolve stress. It seems like that's my biggest trigger, but i am scared to find another job. I had a big flare-up after i got promoted, especially because my boss is so disorganized, and I find myself cleaning up after her all the time. I've slowly tried to wean myself off of being so available, but I feel permanently locked into being her little firefighter.

I've made mentions to her boss about her flubs and flaws, but they have given me no inclination that my concerns are being addressed. I know professionalism requires some chain of communication, so im not privy to all conversations, especially if she's being chastised. I digress.

I might be able to find another job, even more active (which could be good for my eczema, especially if i get more sun), plus I won't be in a leadership position where I'm trying to organize a team that refuses to understand the point of structure...

If anything, I could use some advice on letting go. Maybe even a push out of this job. It's hard because I built a lot of confidence and skills throughout my time here. The stress wasn't all bad, but I was practically in remission until about a year ago.

I don't know what exactly the problem is because it might not be work, but I know stress is a big problem for me.

Idk how to go easy on myself, like I feel like I have to keep going and it's just a continuous exhaustion because if I stop I will collapse.

It's getting bad right now, like when you're neglecting yourself so bad that you want to make it worse. I feel like my friends will tell me to quit my job, but that won't fix it and I'll lose everything I built. I just got a promotion and left work at 4am sobbing because i don't know how to feel like I have anything worthwhile going on, like i just feel unendingly taken for granted and everyone is allowed the totality of their problems, like i think ppl always have this idea that im strong enough to just keep going, but i also have coworkers worried about how much I'm working and that I'm there so late. They see it weighing on me, but i also feel like I am in a flow...

It's also around the anniversary of my mom's death, and she died in kind of a sad situation. I don't know who to talk to, and every friend I have has more important things going on. I have tried to talk.

I didn't realize how bad it was getting until I remembered that one of my tells that im spiraling is that i listen to showtunes compulsively. I have watched the west end production of next to normal close to 10 times in the last two weeks, along with listening to the soundtrack, scream singing it in my car at 5am after I've been at work all night.

I do miss my mom. Altogether, I wish things were different. That i felt loved wholly, that i didn't feel such a need for concessions in my life. I wish I didn't feel so pathetic. It's pretty dark in my head right now, and I desperately want someone to just hold me until the static fades.

I'm definitely a workaholic, but I don't think I know anything else to be. I don't feel lovable unless I'm useful, honestly.

I do want attention, so it's awkward to see the toxic iterations of that desire. I just want to be embraced; I don't mean to approach it selfishly. I'm not wanting to manipulate anyone.

Just signed a lease with my friend as a tenant. Think that's a reason to chill out and lock in. I just wish that wasn't also triggering for me.

I don't know what i want or need besides a day off. All I can stomach right now is sleep and food. I shower, and barely clean my room. I'm trying, but it's not very hopeful up here.

cerave healing ointment is changing the game for me. I normally hate thick products and will overheat then scratch, but this feels so good, especially paired with my moisturizer.

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I try to shower twice a day, but honestly, showers can be too hard on my skin. i take goat milk baths (i use purity) semi-regularly, but especially when I need hydration.

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I used to scrub my skin raw to try and make it "clean" but really i was choosing the most nuclear option for my skin barrier. Now, I am as gentle as I can be and can feel my skin get stronger.

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I started taking seriously my triggers, and realized I'm allergic to sesame and colloidal oatmeal (maybe a nickel allergy?). Any product that doesn't feel good on my body is a waste of my time, and I am tired of feeling sk confused.

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It overall helps to not blame myself and reduce stress. What matters is listening to what kind of treatment my skin needs-- am i dry and flaky? Am I hydrated but have signs of infection?

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I've had severe eczema since I was a wee lass (~3yo), and tried a whole bunch of tests, ointments, and diets. Met a bunch of doctors, most pushing steroids.

Not commenting on the care itself, more on how I'd experience panic attacks because of how uncomfortable it was to feel protopic on my skin or just the frustration of not knowing if I'd scratch it all off because the smell alone triggered my nerves. Or another doctor threatening me with the fear of staph, or other doctors pushing different diets on me.

Again, it's not about the care I was offered, but how it took so long for me to try and handle my symptoms and take care of myself. I felt this block, that I'd feel humiliated by another doctor because "I should have a handle on this by now." Asking for help would mean more expensive treatments that triggered memories of thick ointments on my skin as my parents tried to put up with me.

I just cried a lot, and it was really scary to feel out of control of my body for so long. To feel ashamed of that lack of control. Like it's my fault for not taking care of what I didn't understand (and am only now, at 26, beginning to handle). It is my responsibility, though, which is what I'm working on.

I'm losing direction, just wanted to speak to how eczema has been a sensory nightmare and stress on mental health. Being such a part of my life, it's been hard to divorce it from how my life has to be. I really want to be less helpless, so I'm trying to untangle myself from these anxieties and strongholds built from my early experiences with eczema that were relatively traumatizing. I think to acknowledge that gives me room to separate from it a little.

It affected the way I cared for myself, too. I'd scrub the hell out of my skin, thinking maybe I could fix it if I could just "try hard enough." I'd then freeze and rot in bed for days on end because I knew I wasn't getting it right. I get what I was doing wrong now, but I think it's funny how letting go of that stress has helped me address what my body actually needs more than anything. I wanted to force it and beat my body into submission, but I really needed compassion for myself. Letting go of that anger/resentment for myself and my body has helped me fight back and pay attention to my physical triggers versus my emotional ones.

I've been using castor oil on top of my moisturizer after showering, and it's helped for sure. However, I went back to the oil I've always used-- grapeseed oil. It's much lighter and doesn't feel like I have to work so hard to layer product. Weirdly, I feel more hydrated than usual.

I only recently tried castor oil, and I'm not sure how different oils would respond to eczema. I know the thickness of castor will make me feel warmer/less comfortable, but I feel a difference in effectiveness alone.

Could use some insight!