u/New-Engineering-5132

For all the women who are married and have faced this and survived this.

How do you deal with a husband who wants to control you financially?

> Some demand their wife to transfer her entire salary to their account.

> Some want their wife to put her salary into a joint account.

> Some say that they will give her a pocket money out of her salary every month.

On top of it the in-laws also join the clan and start pressing the woman to make her surrender and give her salary to her husband.

In the name of managing the finances

or

the head of the family manages finances or

it's the rule of the house for DIL to give her salary to husband or in-laws

or

Making her feel guilty to keep her own salary by calling her greedy

or

Making her give salary by manipulating her and saying that 'you manage the home and he(husband) manages the finances, let him do it'

or

An open blackmail saying that either handover your salary or leave your job.

Women who have been through it how did you manage to escape this?

PS: I am not married, I am just creating this post as a help for women who are facing this and want advice for someone experienced or for some who are getting married.

Hey all,

If your parents put any property under your name before marriage then would you handover the property papers in your in-laws hands?

Let's say they say that "ghar ki cheez ghar me hi rehni chahiye" or something like "since it belongs to you then you should bring those papers with you to this home" or if they say that "let us take care of the papers don't you trust us with it".

How to answer back to such emotional blackmail questions?

Now, God knows the intention behind this but for me even if the property papers are with my parents then still it does not matter to me because I know they won't sell it or do anything wrong.

Hey married women here,

Did it happened with you that your mother-in-law decided to remove some maids from home after you came in after getting married.

I am talking about people belonging to middle class or upper middle class family.

How did you deal with this?

I guess for people in middle class to upper middle class family usually maids for sweeping, mopping, washing utensils and clothes is common and sometimes even a cook.

Correct me if I am wrong.

Hi all,

So, this question is for both men and women.

Would you prefer going on a vacation alone without your spouse?

Like on a solo trip and not even with your friends?

How would you feel if your partner wants to go on a vacation alone?

Would you feel bad?

Also, how would you feel when your spouse informs you that he or she has booked a trip and is going there alone and just does not want you to come?

What will you do in such situations?

Married folks have you ever dealt with this?

THIS IS FOR A MARRIED FRIEND, NOT FOR ME.

I AM NOT MARRIED, SO CAN'T GIVE HER ANY ADIVCE ON THIS.

Hi all,

Its been 5 months since I have got married.

Me(28F) and my husband(31M) we both agreed to make a joint account and put our entire salaries into it.

I make 1 lakh a month and husband makes 1.5 lakh a month.

Now, before marriage my finances were:

Expenses: 50k

SIP: 35k

Savings in bank: 15k.

In my mind I wanted to follow the same structure, but since we made a joint account, so I decided I will keep the SIP part as it is and combine rest everything because all bills are paid from that account.

For me, financial security matters the most, I want Savings and investments on my own name as well.

My husband also does SIP and keeps some money in FD.

Now, since we made a joint account, my husband says that I should stop the SIP since he is already doing it and since we are married so it does not matter if only he does the SIP because everything is considered as 'OURS'.

I agree to this, but also I dont want to stop the investments on my own name because it matters to me.

I want to continue doing it and then use that money whenever we make any purchase like land/property/car any thing then I will put that money into it.

But he says that there is no need for it.

How should I talk it out and explain this to him?

THIS IS FOR A MARRIED FRIEND, NOT FOR ME.

I AM NOT MARRIED, SO CAN'T GIVE HER ANY ADIVCE ON THIS.

________________________________________

Hi all,

Its been 5 months since I have got married.

Me(28F) and my husband(31M) we both agreed to make a joint account and put our entire salaries into it.

I make 1 lakh a month and husband makes 1.5 lakh a month.

Now, before marriage my finances were:

Expenses: 50k

SIP: 35k

Savings in bank: 15k.

In my mind I wanted to follow the same structure, but since we made a joint account, so I decided I will keep the SIP part as it is and combine rest everything because all bills are paid from that account.

For me, financial security matters the most, I want Savings and investments on my own name as well.

My husband also does SIP and keeps some money in FD.

Now, since we made a joint account, my husband says that I should stop the SIP since he is already doing it and since we are married so it does not matter if only he does the SIP because everything is considered as 'OURS'.

I agree to this, but also I dont want to stop the investments on my own name because it matters to me.

I want to continue doing it and then use that money whenever we make any purchase like land/property/car any thing then I will put that money into it.

But he says that there is no need for it.

How should I talk it out and explain this to him?

Hi all,

I am a working women. I am 24F. I dont know cooking very well. I just know very basic cooking like dal, rice, sabzi, roti. That too not very good.

I don't cook everyday. I just cook once in a 2 weeks. I have noticed that whenever I cook, I feel exhausted and my back hurts by standing in kitchen for long time.

I don't think I will be able to do this after getting married.

If I cook breakfast and lunch then I will get exhausted even before the start of my work day. Then after an exhausting work day I will have to go to kitchen again and cook dinner.

Now, coming to AM set-up I have been interacting with guys and a lot of them don't know any cooking beyond tea or omlete.

There is this default expectation that only I will cook and my husband will eat, fart and poop.

I don't know where and how to find men who are willing to cook EVERYDAY with me and not occassionally.

I genuinely want to keep a cook after getting married because I wont be able to cook everyday.

Even if its just me and my husband still the entire process of the cooking is going to be the same.

Many people are against a cook.

Recently I found a guy who is good and ticks most of my boxes.

But the issue is the same. He cant cook. He most probably won't cook because he has hectic work and also he does not like cooking.

He said that we can have maids for all other chores at home except cooking, so which means that I have to cook everyday.

My parents get upset when I reject a guy mentioning that he can't cook and have told me multiple times to drop that criteria.

Now, I dont know what to do, I am genuinely scared of ending up as an exhausted and frustrated married women.

I have seen my mom, she is a housewife but has to cook 3 meals a day. My dad throws a lot of tantrums around food all his life. They used to fight a lot around this whole food thing.

My dad wants to eat various delicious dishes and demands my mom to cook. He want a variety everyday and wont even keep a cook because he does not like food cooked by maid.

So, that's an another concern, what if I end with such a guy or his family who are demanding a lot when it comes to cooking.

I dont know what to do at this point. I cant manage kitchen with a full time job.

Hi, same as the title.

Hi all,

When you change a city for job and you are staying alone then how do you find a househelp?

Usually I have seen people hire maids that are working in their society or colony or apartment itself.

But how do you hire that maids when you don't even know who works at others home since you don't even know the neighbors or have no contact with them?

Have you ever hired maids from online services? They usually come on hours basis like for 9 hrs in a day and are generally expensive, atleast that's the scene in my hometown.

So, I want to know your experience if you living in a different city or home and have hired maids.

Hi all,

So apparently when you are in a talking stage and you mention to a guy that you will continue working after getting married.

So, if the guy says something on the lines of....

'Yeah, I have no problem with you working but I need someone who will manage home as well and take care of my parents. So, if you take care of the home well and balance both then I have no problem with it'

This feels heavy because here he has set a silent expectation that 'do a job only after finishing household chores'

I already feel exhausted after hearing this, because my life will be soo hectic.

Is it correct to reject such guys?

Mention your gender with commenting, I want to know what guys think vs what the girls think here.

Hi all,

I am 24 years old woman.

I am only 5 feet in height.

I want my height to be atleast 5 feet 2 inches because 5 feet feels too small.

I look like a dwarf person in a group photo.

If I gain some weight then I look really fat.

Midi length frocks and longs kurtis don't look good on me.

I just want to buy clothes without feeling insecure.

I want to look good in a group of people.

So, is there a way I can increase my height naturally?

Has it ever happened with anyone that their height got increased in this age?

Please share your miracles or what helped you increase you height by a few inches in your 20s.