u/New_General3939

Weddings are one of the last places in our culture where everybody from 2 year olds to 80 year olds from all walks of life can come together and have fun. It’s a special thing that should be cherished.

So if you’re going to make a big deal about not allowing one end of that spectrum to come and join in on the fun, you should have a reason… it should be a wild ass party that’s not appropriate for children. There should be body shots, people doing coke off the tables, people fingering each other on the dance floor. I should leave that wedding and go “yeah, thank god there were no kids there”.

I went to a friend’s wedding last week, and the whole lead up they made a huge deal about it being child free. There were reminders on every announcement and invitation, they texted reminders to everybody with kids, multiple references to kids as “crotch goblins”, it was a whole thing. Then we get there, and it was the lamest wedding I’ve ever been to… people weren’t dancing, it had a cash bar with only beer and wine, it was just a basic ass lame wedding. The whole time I was thinking kids would have actually made this more fun, at least they’d be entertaining.

It is possible to have a full, satisfying life without having a family, it’s just difficult. You need to have an interesting, demanding career. Or you need to make a lot of money and can travel a lot or satisfy your needs through material things. Or you need to be very charming and sociable and are always able to meet new friends and lovers and always have a full social calendar.

However, if you’re like most people and have a boring job, don’t make a ton of money, and only have a few friends and a basic social/love life, you’re going to really struggle to feel fulfilled as you age if you choose to not have a family. These types of people turn 40 and panic when they realize how empty their life feels.

Having a family is something most people are capable of, and it’s a cheat code for filling your life with something meaningful. It’s difficult and not for everybody, but it’s guaranteed, lifelong meaning in ways nothing else is.

I totally understand people who choose to not have a family. You just need to think about how you’re going to get your fulfillment as you age, or you’ll just become another slave to consumerism and entertainment.

I hear stories like that all the time, where somebody will say “I told him he isn’t as smart as he thinks he is, and it shattered his fragile ego”. No, you just said a mean thing and hurt his feelings… we don’t have to replace hurt feelings with “fragile ego” just because we’re talking about a guy.

Fragile egos do exist, but that becomes an issue when something totally normal and inoffensive “shatters their ego”, like when a guy gets mad when a woman politely rejects them. That’s when you should use the phrase “fragile ego”. Not when you’re just being mean and their feelings get hurt…

I’m a new dad, so I have been consuming a lot of parent content and talking to a lot of other parents, and I’m starting to notice this trend. The second a mother says anything like “I’m so tired I barely got any sleep last night”, the top comment will be something like “well what was your lazy piece of shit husband doing to help?”

The second a mother mentions that she did anything at all like cook a meal or clean something up, all the responses will be “why isn’t the dad doing that? Tell his dumb ass to help out”.

Any video of a mom where you can see the dad in the background not currently doing something will have dozens of comments saying “look at that waste of space back there doing nothing”.

It’s crazy… it’s like these people can’t even fathom that maybe the dad is pulling his weight and doing everything he can to help out, they all jump straight to the conclusion that he’s a complete dead beat.

Obviously lazy/bad dads exist, but I’m getting a little tired of how quickly people are willing to jump to that assumption.

Yeah, no shit… if you disagree with it that’s totally fine, but pointing out that an opinion I just expressed is an opinion does absolutely nothing. It does nothing to diminish or discredit what I said, it’s just an obvious, pedantic thing to say.

The only time it makes any sense to say something like that is if somebody is trying to say you can’t disagree with what they’re saying. In that case, it makes sense to say something like “it’s an opinion, I can disagree with you”. But in most cases, just say why you disagree, don’t try to discredit what they said by saying it’s “just an opinion”, that’s just trivially true.

No, he can’t. He can tell if you’re comfortable around dogs, not if you’re a good person or not.

There may be a slight correlation between being a good person and being good with animals. But acting like your dog is some kind of medium that senses a persons morality is silly.

So much of the crap you see on every social media site is so clearly just clip farming from third world countries. Not only is it an issue from the standpoint of spreading cultural division, it’s also just made the internet a far less fun place.

If I want to, I should be able to select the countries I want to see content from. It would drastically cut down on the clip farm crap, and it would allow me to better curate the kind of things I want to see.

Option 1: you must spend 1 month in solitary confinement. You are put in a windowless concrete cell with nothing but a cot and a toilet. Your food is slid through a slot to you 3 times a day. You can’t leave the cell or speak to anyone for any reason.

Option 2: you must spend 3 months in a regular prison. You are put in a regular prison cell that you must share with 1 random prisoner. You get outside time every day, can spend time in common areas with other prisoners, eat in the communal chow hall, can have short visits from loved ones, it’s a typical prison experience.

Option 3: you must spend a year in a comfortable studio apartment with any 1 person you choose. You can pick your best friend, partner, anybody you want. The apartment is stocked with cable tv, board games, some assorted video games and movies, a small kitchen, and a small patio with some basic workout equipment. There is no computer, internet, phone, or any way to communicate with anyone else. You cannot leave for any reason. You can make orders from a local grocery store for food that is delivered to you through a hole in the door. The person you choose is a magical replica of the person (you are not taking them from their life) who vanishes after the year is up.

What do you choose?

Thomas Jefferson owned slaves. MLK cheated on his wife. Led Zeppelin stole songs. Jerry Seinfeld had a 17 year old girlfriend. Walt Disney was anti Semitic. There are a million examples.

It’s the same basic negative tidbits that somebody inevitably mentions any time these people come up. They almost always have nothing to do with the actual discussion, and serve no purpose but to derail the conversation, and somehow suggest that you shouldn’t think of these people at all unless you contemplate their sins first.

It’s so frustrating when traffic cops are like 30 yards away and gesture super casually with one finger, and then look at you annoyed when you can’t see what they’re trying to signal to you.

It’s like they think they’re too cool to be directing traffic, and are doing it with an attitude. If you’re going to do it, do it right. Make big exaggerated signals with your whole arms. Stop being all nonchalant about it.

Look, I get it, I worked in retail for years throughout college. I know how it is. I know the pay is shit, I know there is limited to non existent support and training, hours are spotty, etc. But we have got to stop acting like retail workers are getting whipped in a field… it’s a kind of shitty job, but it’s not that bad.

Every time somebody has a complaint about a retail worker, not matter how small or fair the complaint is, people will crawl out of the woodwork to defend them. “What do you expect, they’re being exploited, how can they be expected to do the job they’re payed for, just accept the bad service”.

As an example, I went into Best Buy with a friend yesterday to buy an printer, and went up and told the employee in the printer section my budget, the type of things I need to print, and the approximate size I’m looking for, and asked him what he’d recommend. He looked at me confused like nobody has ever actually talked to him before, and just said he didn’t know with a shitty dismissive attitude. I tried one more question, and then he just started picking up the boxes and reading them to me. I told him never-mind, and just googled it on my phone and picked out my own printer.

On the way out, I told my friend how annoying that was, and how there was literally no point to him even being there. My friend went on and on about how it’s unfair to expect him to know anything since he probably doesn’t make much money, and how we need to be understanding and patient. I’m sorry, but no. It’s perfectly reasonable to expect the guy who works in the printer section to know the bare minimum about printers. We don’t have to have such low expectations for retail workers.

We have to be able to strike a balance between being kind, patient and understanding for retail workers, but still be able to take issue when they aren’t capable of doing their job.

I had kind of written it off when it came out due to only having a PS5 and it getting mixed reviews. I finally decided to get it since I’m a Bethesda fan, and I’m enjoying the hell out of it.

So far I wouldn’t say it’s as good as Skyrim, but it’s leaps and bounds better than Fallout 4 imo. Some great quest-lines (the UC faction quests were awesome), the shipbuilding/outpost building are great, and the overall vibes are just immaculate. In true Bethesda fashion I haven’t even really started the main quest-line, I’m saving that for last, but I’m intrigued so far.

I agree with some of the negative reviews in some aspects, like there being way too many loading screens, and exploration being pretty limited. But overall it’s much better than I expected so far.

Most of the discourse I see surrounding weddings recently is how much of a waste of money they are, how superficial and shallow they are, and how the wedding industry is a big scam. I used to mostly agree with that, until my wife talked me into having a big wedding. It ended up being the best day of my life, and I wouldn’t change anything about it.

I never wanted a big wedding. I thought it was a waste of money, I didn’t even think I had a big enough family or enough friends to justify it, I don’t like being the center of attention, etc. But everybody in our lives showing up to celebrate us and welcome us into this new stage of our lives was an amazing feeling. People from my childhood, high school friends, college friends, work friends, distant relatives, so many people showed up and made me feel loved in ways that I had forgotten could be possible. It opened my eyes to the love I had in my life.

On top of that, it was just a kick ass party. Food, drinks, live music, it was just plain fun. And having that many people there from both sides all meeting and having fun was an incredible feeling. I have so many cherished memories from that weekend I’ll never forget. It’s also more fun for the guests if it’s a bigger wedding, it makes for a better party.

This part may be controversial, but the vows themselves are more meaningful if you make them in front of all of your friends and family. That’s the real point of the wedding, to pledge in front of all your (and her) family and friends that you’re taking this seriously and are going to be a good spouse to her. That part is less meaningful if you elope or have a tiny wedding with few people to witness that pledge.

So many people talk about how dumb big weddings are. But I really think everybody should at least seriously consider it, because it really changed the way I view my own life, and opened my eyes to the love surrounding me.

And obviously this is all relative depending on your budget, I’m not advocating anybody spend outside their means. But I do think there are ways to have a big wedding and keep it affordable if you’re smart.

It seems like any time two people have different expectations about the nature of a relationship, the person who wanted more will say they were “used”. You weren’t “used”… they just don’t want a relationship with you. And that’s ok.

The only time it makes sense to say you were used for sex is if they lied to you and led you to believe that they wanted more than just sex, and as soon as they get the sex they abandon you.

People act like once your hair starts thinning, your only 2 options are to either fight it with medications and replacement procedures, or to shave it off. We need to bring back the 3rd option: rocking a thinning/receded hairstyle. Lots of guys look great with thinning hair, it makes them look more masculine. Depending on the pattern of baldness, it often looks much better than a shaved head.

Go back and watch any old movie, almost every guy older than like 35 is rocking thin hair, and a lot of them look great.

Theres nothing wrong with fighting it or just shaving your head if you want to, but we need to stop acting like those are your only options. Let’s stop the “it’s time” memes every time a guy starts receding.

People put a lot of stock into how comfortable clothes are when buying clothes or deciding what to wear, and I’ve never understood that. They will tell you the reason they bought something is because it’s comfy, or the reason they never wear a certain type of clothing is because it’s uncomfortable. No one item of clothing is ever that much more comfortable than another for me. Sure, jeans may feel a little different against your skin than sweatpants, but it’s not any better or worse, just different.

The only factors that matter when it comes to comfort are temperature and fit. It’s definitely uncomfortable to wear a hoodie on a hot day or a tank top on a cold day, and it’s definitely uncomfortable to wear clothes that don’t fit right. But if the clothes you’re wearing are appropriate for the weather and they fit, then it’s a pretty good bet they are as comfortable as anything else you could be wearing.

Option 1) he curses you with perfectly straight teeth, but they are post-it note yellow.

Option 2) he curses you with incredibly crooked, wonky teeth, but they are the ideal white color (not too white, perfectly naturally white).

In either option, you are unable to change your teeth no matter how hard you try. No matter what you do (braces, whitening, veneers, etc) you are unable to change them.

Which option do you choose?

I live in a big city, and it’s insane how many people walk around with the vent in the back of their coat still sewn together at the bottom. You’re supposed to cut that open people. You look like a 14 year old wearing their first suit when you do that.

It didn’t bother you that your pockets were sewn shut? You didn’t figure out something was wrong there?

Whenever I see some podcast clip from a manosphere podcast or a misogynist post about women from a man, it’s very easy to write that off as moronic nonsense. No part of me agrees with it, it doesn’t change my outlook in the slightest. Most men feel this way, most men understand fully that these are doofuses to be ignored.

However, when I see a woman talk about how all men are trash, I feel a real twinge of annoyance and frustration, especially when it’s coming from an influential person like a pop star or a big influencer. That does impact my thinking, especially when you see it over and over.

I imagine that if you are a young kid and forming your views of the world and if women, seeing that kind of message over and over will do nothing but breed insecurity and anger directed at women. That messaging is much more likely to create misogynists, and is likely to push them into the manosphere.

We need to treat that kind of message the same way we treat the manosphere guys. It should be shunned and mocked and ridiculed every time you see it, because that’s the messaging that creates real hatred towards women.

EDIT: the point I’m trying to make is that seeing a woman say she hates men is more emotionally powerful as a man than seeing a man say misogynistic things. A man is more likely to become a misogynist if he thinks women hate him than if he’s logically persuaded by an Andrew Tate video.

And it should have been clear, but I am absolutely not saying misogyny is women’s fault, or that people like Andrew Tate aren’t extremely harmful.

People have a lot of opinions regarding these things, and they almost always strike me as philosophically inconsistent. You’ll often hear guys talk about how they watch porn or go to strip clubs, but then in the next sentence they will be denigrating the actresses/sex workers and calling them slurs. I don’t understand how you can participate in and consume those things, but then hold so much contempt for the people who make them possible.

This applies in the opposite direction as well. You’ll see people with nothing but support for sex workers, and then turn around and call any guy who consumes it disgusting and pathetic. That makes no sense to me.

I understand if you believe the sex industry is exploitative, immoral and bad for society. I also understand if you think it’s just an expression of human sexuality and totally healthy as long as it’s done safely. But you have to pick a lane. It takes the workers and the customers to make that industry possible, you can’t have respect for one and contempt for the other.