u/No-Push-3226

I'm a newbie and recently I got into a sub/dom dynamic, in a non-serious relationship. It was very intense and a lot of sexting. The problem is I got attached quickly, because we sexted a lot and he was using a lot of possessive terms such as "you're mine, only mine", or "I want you to be totally addicted to me", things like that. It was part of our dynamic, but we were sexting a lot, so even outside of real physical contact, he was possessive. And suddenly, when I asked for less messages and to reduce the frequency of time spent together, he's been kinda distant and acted frustrated by that. He then blocked me. And I cannot stop thinking about that. I think I was dependant, literally addicted to the dynamic. And I don't know if that's normal. I don't know if that was a normal part of the dynamic since I'm new to this. He also sent sometimes mixed signals when once he said there was smthg romantic between us, or when he said he couldn't sleep because he was thinking about me (probably fantasizing, because I know he was fantasizing about me a lot). I can't even talk to someone about that because I feel ashamed by that and that no one can really understand me. Also I don't know if the intensity of it was part of the dynamic, or if feelings were involved. Has anyone ever been in this kind of situation and has some advice ?

Pour les meufs qui sont passées par là ? comment vous avez fait ? mon problème est que je suis littéralement obsédée, mais c'était une histoire assez classique. mec qui veut rien de sérieux, on s'est vu, j'ai senti une connexion rare, j'ai ressenti un peu d'ambiguité, etc, puis il m'a bloqué (je pense peut-être savoir pourquoi mais ça se serait terminé d'une manière ou d'une autre. J'ai à plusieurs reprises annulé ou dit que j'étais occupée quand il voulait vraiment qu'on se voit, mais il était sans doute aussi pas si intéressé que ça, même s'il était très intense sur le moment). Il aurait très bien pu ne pas me bloquer, mais vu le contexte et ce qu'on s'envoyait (je vais pas rentrer dans les détails), je peux un peu comprendre. Puis je savais qu'il partirait dans un autre pays pour le taff dans pas longtemps aussi. Mais bref. Quelles sont les solutions à ma disposition ? J'ai l'impression que je l'oublierai jamais, ça fait tellement mal.

Sometimes I think I'm forgetting about you and then suddenly I'm obsessed again. It's been 2 months, when will I forget about you ? It doesn't make any sense. You blocked me, you left the country, it wasn't even serious to you and I will never see you again. I just want to forget about you. get out of my head, please. why did you have to make me feel this way, when you didn't care at all ? why did I feel butterflies when you kissed me for the first time when it was just a game to you ? I feel I will never be able to forget about you. How can I replace you ? I have you in my mind, It hurts so much. I cannot stop comparing other guys to you. I don't want to feel this way. why did you have to do this.