u/No-Risk4Uanymore

Hey. How are you? (And G) I miss you. I’m doing pretty good could be worse. Figured some things out. And actually found ways to put them into action. I think you’d be happy for me. I hope I don’t screw it up, idk why I keep having that thought but it bothers me. O can’t honestly remember if I use to think that way or not. The past seems so long ago. You seem so long ago.

I’m sorry again for not being able to do everything I said, I tried but I wasn’t my best self. I still replay everything I did wrong but I’m trying to do that less. I don’t want to put energy into negative thoughts, I hope you’ve moved past rhen as well. You know I want you to be happy and healthy so please try to stop if you’re stuck in the negative or spiraling hun.your mind is too powerful to use it against yourself.

Anyways I’m gonna go. I’d write to you til there wasn’t anything left to write on but that’s not gonna help either of us. I miss how your voice made me feel. How it made every other sound seem dull. Please find the good in you and life girl and make it home. Things are hard but not going to quit. I won’t forget.

♾️ -🫶🏾me
🙂

I need you to do something for me.
I’ll admit my selfish tendency in asking
But I’m afraid I must ask anyways
To test your truth in professing your love

I need you to forget. Forget how I was wrong
I need you to let slip the times I let you down
Erase all the foolish habits and mistakes
I probably continually made.

Remember the lessons you learned from
My fleeting moments of wisdom
Hold tight the highs of our laughter
Lock away the looks that warmed our souls

Then walk into the new you, the better you
Leave behind your fears and bad habits
Let your heart be open to good if it happens
To cross your path.
Do not make the same mistakes that lead us to divide
But take that frame of love and use it to build your dreams still.

Accept how sorry my heart is for failing the only test that has mattered. Leave the pain with me. It is now mine to carry.

Goodbye and thank you.

I’m talking to the wind again.
Its movement scurries past me,
a wall of hurried steadiness,
hurling beyond and out of earshot.

I look to the sky,
as if it might concede
the point the wind was carrying away.
It slowly turns aside,
too polite to voice an opinion.

I stare into the water,
which rudely beckons me closer
only to push me away again.

“Why?” I ask aloud.
“Why this cruelty?
Why ignore me and run away?”

The silence haunted me for years.
Until, old and bound to my bed,
I finally understood.
They had moved for me all along.
They danced and rolled
for my eyes and my heart,
rising and falling
for my joy.

I read something and I thought of you. A girl and guy broke up and didn’t speak. Later she thought she saw him on here and started to spiral. It was too much for her I guess and it made me think. What if that was you? How would I feel if seeing something I wrote did that to you. You already know. I try to keep my word to you so I’ll find another outlet , I’m creative. I hope …. I just hope. 😌

With all of my heart, 🤟🏾🫵🏾♾️

There’s so much to be said, but I already know how this is probably going to go because I know you. I’m sure it has already been framed as though I simply left you, and that others are adding fuel to the fire.

But you knew me. Have you asked yourself "what if" at all? What if I just broke?
What if my life imploded, and I was still trying to save everyone around me? There are things I’m struggling with as well. Even now, I find myself thinking about both of us.

I don’t know whether that is something you still care about, and maybe it can’t be your concern anymore. If that’s the case, I understand, and I will deal with it on my own.
If you can’t forget or forgive, I understand. I know how difficult that is because I struggled with it many times myself.
I truly believed what we had was different, or I never would have tried as hard as I did.
Nothing I ever said or did was anything but sincere. My love was real, and it still is.
I forgive you for everything I know and everything I do not know.
You already know what you want to do, but for whatever reason, you won’t.So how can my love be considered fake?I’m still here. I still want to talk with you.I have one favor to ask: please don’t take the easiest path simply because others are telling you what to do. Be honest with yourself, if with no one else.
When was the last time we put all of our cards on the table and were able to speak without worry? That’s how we got here, and that’s how I would prefer to leave. I think you do too.
The idea that I never tried simply isn’t true, because when have I ever hidden from my faults? You use to do the same with me but things got scary and we were apart more. And you listened to others words more than mine and look at everything. How many times have you said you were right about xyz. You know who I am. Things are different now take a look. Maybe it doesn’t matter anymore to you, but it still matters to me.

I was thinking about the space we use up with all of the pros and cons, stories and memories of past people. If there’s not new stuff going into that space still why keep it purge it and defrag the system. 🤔

AGGGHHHHHHHHHH READY UP! Got the job I’ve been chasing for 18 months plus it stacks with the job I got a month ago???? ugh huh👂🏽👂🏽👂🏽👂🏽👂🏽👂🏽👂🏽👂🏽👂🏽👂🏽👂🏽👂🏽👂🏽👂🏽👂🏽👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅

Wanting to talk caring for me all the remorse, just fake to shift the narrative like I said. Again ? Just say anything ok thanks again I got ya . Friends huh.

🤷🏾‍♂️it just hits