u/No-Wolverine59

Salaam everyone,

I'm a guy in my early 30s, and I've realised that people were right—making new friends really does get harder as you get older.

I'd genuinely love to meet some fellow Muslims who enjoy good conversations and getting to know new people. One of my favourite things is learning about someone—their story, interests, perspectives, and all the little things that make them who they are.

A little about me: I'm based in the UK, love hiking and traveling, and i am a sucker for emotionally intelligent, meaningful conversations.

I'm simply looking to make some genuine connections and hopefully some good friends along the way. If that sounds like you, feel free to comment or send me a message

Salaam everyone,

I'm a guy in my early 30s, and I've realised that people were right—making new friends really does get harder as you get older.

I'd genuinely love to meet some fellow Muslims who enjoy good conversations and getting to know new people. One of my favourite things is learning about someone—their story, interests, perspectives, and all the little things that make them who they are.

A little about me: I'm based in the UK, love hiking and traveling, and i am a sucker for emotionally intelligent, meaningful conversations.

I'm simply looking to make some genuine connections and hopefully some good friends along the way. If that sounds like you, feel free to comment or send me a message.

It has been 2 years since my APs husband found out. Messages, she didn’t hide well enough on her phone. He let it go, we carried on, yes even after being caught we continued. He found out again. He confronted me, literally came outside my house and pulled me out. A lot of trauma associated with that. He didn’t ruin me, held me ransom and asked for a very large sum of money it hung over me for months until I blocked him, realising he wouldn’t action it. I haven’t heard from him since. All things considered, I got off easy. Very easy. I have no idea why but he didn’t ruin me. Maybe out of mercy for my child or saving my wife the pain. I still feel horrible that I let my impulsive, irrational self get the better of me and have an affair for over a year. But clearly there was something missing and I can’t rule out that I won’t fall into it again. Stupid I know.

At the same time, I haven’t connected with anyone like my AP ever. She had a way to make me vulnerable, to unlock me, for me that is rare. Not just that she kept up with me, physically, mentally, in activities in games, something I have never experienced before. She understood me she was more logical than emotional and for me I didn’t know any of the above existed. The intimacy was wild and with no boundaries, again something I never had experienced.

As the 2 years have past I can’t help but find faults in my wife, who ofchas no idea. I would never leave because of my child and just the taboo. But I have been a stinker to be around because I haven’t been forgiving of her short comings. It is driving me insane almost. She doesn’t fulfil me emotionally or socially which is now clear. I have to be the lead in everything.

Mind dump sorry but any advice or conversation is welcome. Feeling lonely.

To all the lurkers... this one's for you.

I know you're here.

You read the posts. You read the comments. Sometimes you type out a reply... then delete it.
So here's your excuse to finally comment.

I've been thinking about something that doesn't get talked about much.
What does it actually feel like being with a husband who never takes the initiative?
Not just with big life decisions, but in the relationship as a whole.
The one who's always waiting for you to decide. Waiting for you to bring things up. Waiting for you to create the moments. Waiting for you to carry the emotional weight. Waiting for you to make things happen.
Does it eventually make you feel like you can't ever fully switch off?
Like you're always scanning, always thinking ahead, always wondering what needs doing next because if you don't, nobody will.
Does it change the way you see him over time?
Does it affect attraction?
Does it make you feel more like you're managing the relationship than simply being in it?
I'm not talking about someone who's quiet or gentle. I mean someone who rarely steps forward, rarely surprises you, rarely creates a sense that you can just relax because he's already thinking about the next step.
I've always wondered what that actually feels like from a woman's perspective.
And if you're one of the silent readers who never comments... I'd genuinely like to hear yours.