u/No_Leg_3071

I’m 30 and keep rejecting arranged marriage proposals because I don’t feel most people understand mental health struggles in real life. I’ve dealt with mental health issues since childhood. From the outside I look fine, but it’s something I’ve lived with for years. Even at the gym, if someone very confident/extroverted approaches me, I usually just don’t feel the vibe and run away. Trying to understand where genuine, compatible connections actually happen in real life today. My career is also bit isolating, so barely any human interactions.

I’m in a confused state right now.

I’m 30, turning 31 soon, and getting a lot of arranged marriage proposals. The problem is, I’ve never really been a fan of arranged marriage. I’ve only dated one girl before, someone I met through a dating app in 2022, and it was honestly a great experience. Since then, I stayed single and focused mostly on my career. Financially, I’m in a stable place now.
But mentally, things are complicated. I struggle with childhood trauma and probably autism/BPD traits, which makes relationships difficult for me sometimes. Because of that, I’ve always leaned toward wanting a child free life.

Now my parents are strongly pushing for arranged marriage, and some of the proposals are genuinely good. But deep down, I still feel I’d rather meet someone naturally, date, and see where things go instead of jumping straight into marriage talks.
At the same time, finding someone organically at this age feels harder. Years of grinding, isolation, and routine have made me less social and talkative than I used to be.

So I genuinely don’t know what to do. Should I at least explore arranged marriage conversations, or reject them and wait to find someone naturally?

Would appreciate honest advice.

I’m 30 years old, and I grew up with emotionally unavailable parents. Back then, I knew something was wrong with me, but neither I nor anyone around me understood it was actually mental health related.
On paper, I’ve done pretty well in life. I’ve had a good career and achieved decent financial success. But mentally, I’m struggling badly. Recently, I visited my hometown after a long time, and my dad brought up something that affected me so deeply that it took me almost 2–3 weeks to recover emotionally.
Then two days ago, I visited my aunt’s house. An incident happened, and my cousin said something to me that hit me hard again. What made it hurt more is that I’ve helped him and his family a lot financially over the years. At this point, I’ve already started isolating myself. I genuinely feel like cutting off almost every family member except my brother, my sister in law who understands me somewhat, and my little niece, whom I love more than anything. Honestly, at this point, she feels like my whole world.
But at the same time, I don’t know if I can keep going completely alone either.
I’m struggling pretty badly right now. Sometimes I just feel like resting my head on someone’s lap and crying my heart out, but I genuinely feel like there’s nobody I can fully trust.
Never thought life would end up like this for me. Right now I honestly feel hopeless. I don’t even know what could fix me anymore.
Honestly, I don’t even know what I want from posting this here. Maybe I just wanted to vent it out somewhere.

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