u/No_Maximum_391

I had my 6 week check up at my OB and one thing she made clear since I already had a touch of PPA and have a higher than usual risk for PPD is that I need 30 min a day for alone/me time and she said this doesn’t include self care such as a bath. She said make it an expectation and really emphasized that I get out of the house for those 30 min.

So it made me think wtf would I even do for me time. I used to yoga once a week but this is not something I am ready for yet. Also when do you get in this 30 min to leave between dinner, family time, bed and bath while also feeding a baby. Sure weekends this is absolutely feasible. But I swear with a toddler and infant this is difficult, especially with our toddler refusing bed time. Which is usually 8:30 but lately seems like 10 pm as he refuses his own bed and wants me to lay with him.

So what do you do for yourself thats away from the kids and not considered self care.

TLDR: previous stat c-section fetal distress. VBAC foley induction at 41 weeks, PROM, max Pitocin 20 units, epidural, internal monitor and IUP, struggles to progress and forceps delivery with 3A tear.

I knew right after my C-section that I wanted to go for a VBAC. I ended up with a low line placenta at 18 weeks and didn’t move by 28 weeks. It finally moved at 32 weeks and I felt like a VBAC was back on the table.

My previous birth was a stat emergency c-section at 41 weeks after going into spontaneous labour and laboured about 23 hours. Ultimately it ended up being due to fetal distress. Though I also had a calcified /deteriorating placenta, was not progressing past 7cm for 6-7 hours, sunny side up/titled in birth canal, and fetal decelerations. I always attributed a cascade of interventions to some of my issues. But finally, after reading everything, I think it was a multitude of reasons.

I had an induction scheduled at 40 weeks with a foley balloon. I Chickened out and decided to give it another week to see if I’d go into spontaneous labor. I was worried about the increase of uterine rupture as well as the Pitocin contractions.

Sure enough by 41 weeks little Miss still did not make her appearance. I kept telling myself I could start the induction and always swap to a C-section. I got the foley in and sent home 12 hours later it came out on his own. The hospital let me go to bed for the night and told me to come in the next day. I was 3 cm when they started to me on Pitocin. The plan was to only give me two units, break my water and hope labour just progress on its own. This way we can stay at the lowest dose Pitocin possibly. They were hoping I’d also go for an epidural from the beginning. I denied the epidural. We started with two units. A resident tried to break my water which was unsuccessful. My cervix was so long and it was so painful for her trying to get through it. They upped my pitocin to 4 units. My OB then decided to give it a go but my cervix once again was so long, she was so close but I kept tensing up and it would run away. We decided to just keep upping the Pitocin every 30- 45 min. I asked if he could give it one more shot which we did around 6-8 units of pitocin. This time she was able to nick it but not big gush.

I unfortunately was not able to be as mobile as I was hoping without the epidural because the external fetal monitoring always would drop off. This also happened with my son. I had to be in very specific positioning for them to track his heart rate. Which I believe is part of the reason I failed to progress last time. At about 10 units my contraction started to get painful and close together, though I had very little progression at this point. My OB had highly recommended epidural so I would relax and progress. I decided at that point that I would get the epidural which I got at about 14 units by the time anesthesiologist’s got to me. I also then opted for an internal fetal monitor and an IUP out of my request as I was only able to be in 1-2 positions and even that required the monitor to be adjusted frequently to keep track and one was standing. This was absolutely the best decision for me. I was unable to move to either side adjust as needed. I was able to sit up.

This is also on my labour started to progress as I was relaxed. My water started to leak. I had the bloody show. Things were starting to look up. I continued to labour slowly, but surely throughout the day. After about 18-20 hours of starting the induction and maxing out on pitocin 20 units they brought up my progression. Though I truly thought that this was just a mixup. As before shift change, one nurse had said I had progressed to 7 cm which to me was wonderful and then when my night nurse came on, she checked me and thought I was only 6 cm.

The OB eventually came in to talk to me about my progression but when she text me, she felt I was closer 7 to 8 so I was thinking maybe it was just slow progression and wanted to give me a bit more time. I personally was not worried with my progress, but they were a little concerned. I also am pretty sure she ended up being sunny side up, but I didn’t confirm with the OB. But this is based on what my husband recalled when she was delivered.

Because of the progression talk, I determined that I needed to get moving as much as possible and I couldn’t nap like I wanted to. So I tried to sit up and use gravity I stayed up as long as possible until my little girl wasn’t tolerating that position. I also around the same time was experiencing left side pain that would not go away between contractions. It did not seem to matter if I was laying on my left on my right side or I was sitting up it was painful and got worse.

When the OB came back to check all my position changes worked and I ended up at 9 1/2 cm and did some practice pushing. This is when they also thought I should get a top up on my epidural as I was in so much pain that I was struggling. I was very hesitant on this because I was worried I’d become too groggy and unable to push. As the epidural made me feel this way with my son. But ultimately got the top up. Ended up taking a nap and I was only asleep for about 1-2 hours, but it really felt like a blink when I was woken up for a check then it is time to push.

I attempted to push for two hours, but was really struggling. They were not productive and not every contraction I pushed I was pretty much falling asleep in between and I was regretting the fact that I got the top up or I didn’t get it sooner and get more of a nap or more time before pushing at least. It was at this point. I started to have an absolute meltdown and felt like I couldn’t do it anymore and talked to my husband about throwing in the towel and having a C-section. Which felt defeating after going through an induction for 25 hours and making it to 10cm.

This is when my nurse who had been with me for 18 out of the 26 hours of my labour came in clutch. She looked at me told me we are not giving up. We did not come this far to not give it another shot. We were going to talk to the OB about all our options and I was gonna get my VBAC. She reminded me of the reasons I wanted to do this. She tried to calm me as much as she could. I honestly couldn’t thank her enough the OB came in said you’re far enough along do you want me to use forceps. I truly knew that a delivery would not be possible without some sort of assistance. Sure enough between 1-2 push with the forceps and then another 5 to 6 pushes our little girl was here. I honestly was in disbelief as if I did not just do that.

I felt like we had so many interventions and so many aspects that I was always avoidant of especially in my first labour. But being open this time really paid off. After my experience there’s some things that I truly believed helped me. I honestly think I would look at getting the epidural sooner next time. This way they can break my water without pain and hopefully reduce the amount of Pitocin needed. Also I would go for the internal monitors as it allowed me to actually have more position changes and IUP gave me and the provider a peace of mind that my contractions were effective.

Unfortunately, it did come with a third-degree tear, which made me wondering if it was truly easier than a scheduled C-section the first couple days. But after a few days postpartum, I’m happy to say that I’m recovering faster than my c-section but definitely different pains and different challenges than my last delivery. I didn’t expect so little control over my bladder.

So if you’re considering a VBAC don’t see all interventions as the enemy you need to do what is best for you based on your history.

Obviously uterine rupture is a real risk of VBAC but for some reason I feel they always make it sound so catastrophic with the follow up of less than 1%.

Yet they never seem to give you the stats and risks of c-section.

Went in for an induction with a foley and the way they present the information always over emphasis the worst possible outcome as if they try to scare you.

For some background our second will be here any day and we did not have an easy time with our first who is now 2, i had an emergency c-section, our boy was an awful sleeper like 10-11 hours in a 24 hour period and mostly 20 min intervals with one 3 hour stretch and one 2 hour stretch and he had lots of feeding issues which took me an hour to get a full feed in. We both struggled immensely but especially him with transition to parenting he very much was a person first and dad second and I was very much the opposite and some days I still feel this way. I didn’t feel supported enough and held allot of resentment towards him. (we have started counselling).

We haven’t actually overly talked about how we will navigate this change. So I am thinking we need to actually have a conversation about how this will look for the first six weeks. He will be taking one week from work off and we still have full-time care until September. So we have that support during the day with at least our toddler with exception of a two week closure in August. I do have my parents who are retired but an hour away, though they are always willing to drive down or take our toddler whichever is best for us.

Since every family situation is so different with work and logistics. I am more curious what conversations did you have ahead of time that really helped set you up for success? Was there something you particularly found extremely helpful postpartum? How did you navigate changing that plan up? Did you find taking it day by day with daily check-in easier?

Obviously if you already have great communication this is allot easier but this is not our current case and we are both to blame hence counselling. We both are avoidant and have adhd which brings more complexities to the dynamic.

My OB offered an induction at 39 weeks. She has been great at telling me I am steering the ship and that there were no medical concerns for it to be needed. Instead of 39 weeks I decided we could schedule for her due date. Thinking she would come before. Now we are two days away and I am having second thoughts. The OB did say she is comfortable with me going a week overdue but she wishes she knew more on why my son ended up as a stat emergency c-section.

For context he was born at 41 weeks went into labour naturally and then I stopped progressing when I transferred from the birth centre to hospital for exhaustion and pain. He went into distress about 10 hours later I did have a epidural and they broke my water about 5-6 hours in. I don’t recall Pitocin or anything being given. But I was so physically exhausted by the time I got to the hospital I may have forgot.

I have heard so many say that going naturally into labour has more favourable odds for vbac. Also that Pitocin increases risk of uterine rupture which my OB didn’t indicate. Maybe this is since they would do a folly and then very small doses. I don’t know. I am thinking of rescheduling for 40&6 to give her better odds at coming naturally. I have been cramping and had some prodromal labour this past week. I am at 1cm but know that means nothing I was 1cm on Thursday and went into labour Sunday with my first.

Either way did you go for an induction and how far along were you?

Even though this is my second kid, I feel like what I brought is a blur and decided to go with the carry-on suitcase so we didn’t have a bunch of bags. I feel we have allot though.

For context or hospital is a little over an hour away and next to ky parents so I will likely labour at my parents house for a little bit before going in.

Labour (I used or wish I had all this in first labour)

• tens machine
• heating pad
• massager
• labour gown
• peppermint oil
• mini egg light
• mini speaker
• charging cords

Postpartum

• shorts
• shirt
• 3 pairs of underwear (hate the hospital ones)
• dress for going home
• nursing bra and pumping bra
• socks
• sweatshirt
• 20 pads
• toiletries (peri bottle, brush, hair tie, hair clip, tooth brush and tooth paste, mini cream, and face wash.)

Baby

• Newborn Diapers
• 2 zipper pjs
• onesie
• swaddle
• burp cloth for drive home

Husband

• Jeans
• sweats
• 2 shirts
• sweater
• underwear
• socks
• bathing suit (to support labouring in shower)

Adding my nursing pillow, blanket, and pillow for both husband and me. My husband will likely just go to my parents but just encase.

I feel like we have so much and we didn’t even pack snacks, my towel or anything I believe is unnecessary and our carry on suitcase is full just from our stuff not even baby stuff is in there.

I have had pelvic pain for weeks but I simply take it slow and careful and after stretching and resting make it through just fine. But last night it was as if i officially pulled something. I got stuck on the floor for an hour, can barely walk, couldn’t even get in bed myself. Takes me 10 min to make it to the bathroom 10 steps away. It’s more painful than my C-Section was with my first. I am 38 & 4. Honestly my husband was so worried he thought he was going to have to call an ambulance.

Has anyone experienced this? Like how do you even give birth when you cant even move? I am now worried I am doomed for another c-section.

Personally, since I had my son emergency C-section, I knew I wanted to go for a VBAC. Though I had low line placenta up until 32 weeks so thought it might not be possible. It has now moved and I’m in the position to go for one. Though I can’t get the risk of uterine rupture out of my head. I know it’s a low percentage, but I keep thinking my weight plays a barrier and that I will be the 1%. Sometimes when my C-section the scar hurts, I think that it’s a bad idea.

What resources did you read to be informed about your option and that you were making the right decision?

Also, did you go for an epidural with your VBAC?

Would have you changed your mind if you had to get an induction?

My provider would like to see me get an epidural, mostly so that is something were to happen. We can quickly rush into the OR. My only concern with this is last time when I got the epidural I seem to not progress as quickly, and then I ended up getting a C-section due to my baby being in distress.

Give me your favourite mini crib mattress that can be used from newborn stage and is firm and wont sag or indent.

We have a secondhand Newton for our regular size crib and I didn’t buy it for the breathability. I specifically bought it because we thought we were going to travel in our trailer for a few months and I liked that you could fully wash it.

Now that I’m looking at mini crib mattresses, I keep seeing mixed reviews where a lot of people are saying their crib mattress ended up indented and were sagging and was not safe sleep. I’ve read this for both the Simmons and the daVinci.

If there’s one thing I can say is that the Newton was an actually fantastic mattress. I loved how it could be washed and never once did I feel like it was sagging. We were gonna go affordable, but I’m thinking maybe we need to up the budget. We likely would only use it for 14 to 16 months.

Has anyone had issues getting life insurance while pregnant. The broker for RBC I talked to today said they wont underwrite the policy while I am pregnant and have to wait till after birth of the baby. So far they are the only ones to say this. While I didn’t explicitly ask the last company they didn’t bring it up. He was very adamant that even if the other companies did write it they wouldn’t pay it out if something happened. He said he was 1000% sure they will make my policy pending with RBC until I deliver.

Has anyone had this issue? Who did you go with?

Debating on if we should buy the bassinet or straight to the mini crib. We did the halo with our first which was nice due to the c-section but I didn’t love it and don’t actually think it would be much easier than a crib at the highest setting. Our boy liked his back rubbed so I actually found the crib easier as I could rub his back lying down.

Our bassinet was so short lived 4-5 months maybe and then put up the full size crib which took up my whole side of the bed. We live in a small house so thinking maybe go straight to the mini crib.

What did you do? Do you really feel your bassinet was worth it?

I finally got an OB after trying for many months and go Monday. My doctor warned me that she’s likely going to talk to me about doing an induction at 39 to 40 weeks due to updated standards and concern of increase risk of still birth. I was a little surprised by this for two reasons. One my weight is about the same as it was with my son who I had in 2024 and an induction was never mentioned, but I also had a midwife who did bring up the risk of still birth, but more to do with placenta function and low amniotic fluid but I was safe to go to 41+3, they just wanted to do an ultrasound to confirm I was good to wait that long. I naturally went into labour at 41 weeks. Unfortunately, due to my son, losing his heart rate after 24 hours of labour we ended up with an emergency C-section.

My plan this round was to do a VBAC and I’m well aware that inductions can increase your chance of placenta abruption and also lower your success rate for vaginal delivery by roughly 10%.

Has anyone experienced this? I meet with her Monday and glad he at least prepared me as now I can have questions ready as to why is she recommending this and if it’s solely based on policy/standard or on my history. Also alternative options.

I’m due with our second and likely last child at the beginning of July. I ended up only taking 12 months with my first but intended to take 18. i went back simply because I got a job offer that was too good to refuse at 10 months. All I can remember is how hard it was from 12 to 18 months between starting a new role as a senior leader in a new municipality at one of the busiest times of year.

I’ve only been there for a year and they are not replacing me during my leave as they don’t want anyone making changes to my department and will struggle to find a qualified candidate. I do genuinely like my job, which I couldn’t say last time but I also know that this is probably one of the few opportunities I’d get 18 months off with both of my kids.

So I initially told our CAO I would be taking till at least September off so 14 months. Now that I thought of it the minimum I’m going to take is 15 months, so our little one has a month to adjust to childcare. Our childcare provider can accommodate either as September or January start with January being her preferred as our other child will be close to 3 so will no longer be considered a two-year-old spot.

I am so on the fence about either. I know many moms go back at 12 months simply because of financials. Likely we would ideally need the money, as we recently upgraded to a used car we partially financed but I don’t want this to be the only deciding factor as I know, we could figure it out as I will still be maintaining one of my freelance clients on my mat leave. So I don’t think money alone should be my deciding factor.

What other factors did you consider?

Some other things I keep going back to.

• I only been in my job for a little over a year and it might be easier to go back in October giving me a couple extra months before budget to prepare and would be less stress on my team.

• I will be back in time to get not only our cost of living increase but also our merit increase.

• The 3 extra months of pay may mean we could possibly move in the spring instead of pushing it another year.

• I genuinely might be ready to return as I hate winter so being “stuck” in the house might make me crazy.

• If financially feasible we could maybe go on an extended trip from Oct- Nov somewhere warm.

• we would have less financial pressure if I went back in October.

I know I can change my mind later to 18 months in terms of work, but in the terms of childcare, I do need to give her an answer soonish. As she is in high demand and needs to know when our other child will be starting full-time again, and our second child will begin.

My son turned 2 in April we are hoping to potty train by summer. We introduced the potty at about 20 months casually. Though he is still not having any of it. He tells me before he poops, but refuses to sit on the potty unless fully clothed or in a diaper. He doesn’t like to be poopy he will absolutely tell us sometimes even brings me the diaper.

The only time he has truly sat on the potty without clothes with no screaming is for my husband a few times. We have tried not pushing it and just keeping it in the bathroom encouraging him to at least sit on it clothed. We took a break after he had an utter meltdown about it. Then tried again. But tips would be appreciated. Did you try the 3 day method was your child already comfortable sitting on the potty?

Our second is due July and honestly having only one in diapers would be amazing and realize we likely wont have the capacity to start the process for a bit after baby is born. So if we could try now we would love to but realize he just may not be ready.

I was denied by what seems like all the OB’s for Grey Nuns. My doctor clinic keeps trying and asks every time asks if I have heard anything at all. What happens when I get closer? When I talked to the hospital they said in order for it to be scheduled I have to have an OB unless I come in as an emergency for bleeding or in labour. I didn’t want a C-section but my placenta is low lying unfortunately. So I feel I am just hoping it works out or my placenta moves in the next 6 weeks.

I live outside the city and the hospital ensures that has nothing to do with it. Though my doctor says they have always struggled to get patients in to Edmonton. I have at least changed my address to my parents in the city and going to see if I can see a doctor in the city. My clinic said they had another patient do the same to get into an Edmonton OB.

Anyone else have this experience?