u/No_Nefariousness1700

My baby is 8 months old. My husband is working and I’m currently on maternity leave for another 2 months. During the week, he and I wake up at the same time (7am). He gets ready to work from home and I wake up the baby. He then works until ~6pm. In the evening, we mostly share caretaker duties and do bedtime routine together.

On weekends, I wake up with the baby at 7am. Every. Weekend. Yesterday, we had to leave at 10am for some plans we had. I asked him what time he was going to wake up. He said 8:00. He rolls out of bed at 8:45, takes a poop, eats breakfast, then goes to take another poop and shower. At this time, it’s 9:15. I say I also need to get ready, so he says okay I’ll do this and then you can get ready. He’s done at 9:45 which gives me 15 mins to get myself ready. I don’t have enough time to shower so I just change and put some make up on.

Today, he wakes up at 9am. He says hi to us, makes and eats breakfast in peace and goes to take his 15 minute shit. He then goes to the basement to turn the World Cup game on. ZERO thought around “my wife has been awake with the baby since 7, maybe I should offer to take the baby so she can have a break/change her clothes/brush her teeth”.

I just feel like he doesn’t think about me at all. I don’t get to sleep in, I don’t get to take a 15 minute poop without asking him to take her, I don’t get to just have a shower whenever I want. I have brought this up before but it’s been a while. I think the resentment is also growing because I have done every night wake since she was born, and he hasn’t washed a bottle in months. I also plan and feed her every meal, as well as clean her and get high chair up. I have recently been on his ass for some things (like never putting his dishes in the dishwasher), and at one point he mentioned that I was looking for things to be mad about. I feel like if I bring this up, he’s going to think I’m being naggy. I know I need to communicate better but I’m just tired of being frustrated and disappointed.

Baby (7.5 months), is sleep trained, can fall asleep independently, etc. She was sleeping through the night for a period of time when we were on 3 naps. We moved to 2 naps and did okay in the beginning but for the past week and a half she wakes up every night between 10pm-12am at least once but sometimes 2-3 times. Our ww are 2.75/3.5/3.75. Bedtime is usually 8pm, wake up at 7:15am. We aim for 1.5 hour nap in the morning and 1.25 in the afternoon. Her morning nap is great but her afternoon nap is usually only ~45 mins.

Total sleep time we aim for is 14 hours which is what she was doing on 3 naps when she was STTN, but she usually gets slightly less because of her short afternoon nap.

Any ideas?

Husband is 6'4, I'm 5'11. Currently in a 2017 Nissan Rogue. We have our infant car seat (Maxi Cosi Zelia) on the passenger's side, but the seat needs to be pushed up for it to fit. We just barely get away with enough space for my legs, and my husband's are super cramped if he sits there. We're looking for a rotating car seat that would fit without needing to push up the seat any further. Baby is 7 months so the car seat doesn't need to be super reclined. Anyone have any suggestions?