u/No_Produce_567

My ex of 6 years begged and pleaded for me back, but I didn’t because he wasn’t motivated, didn’t have a job, dropped out of college and repeated a cycle that he had already been through earlier in our relationship. I financially supported him for years then we moved in together, and broke up while we lived together and had to continue that for over a year until I found a new place. I got into a new relationship and I thought the man I got with was fantastic… I found out later down the line that we were incompatible and ended things, which was awkward because we work together.

Not only did I find that out but also came to the realisation that I’m still in love with my ex. My ex has been in a new relationship for nearly 2 years now and I’m kicking myself that I didn’t act sooner. He told me he was going to move on and gave me one last chance to try again before he did, and I regret not having done it. I keep crying every night and I’m so fixated on the situation that I can’t focus on anything else or get good sleeps. I really need a pep talk. How do I stop myself from waiting for him to come back when he might not now? He told me last year we should stop talking because it was in both our best interests after he got into a new relationship, that he didn’t tell me about for over a month. I’m so stuck and want to reach out to him but I don’t want to disrespect his girlfriend/relationship. Am I done for?

If you’re here, please reach out… please. All I do is think of you, cry, wish you were here and wish that we were still us.

I can’t let you go peanut. My thoughts are constantly fixated on you no matter where I am, what I’m doing or who I’m with. All I do is get swallowed by the thoughts of, what if we had tried again? What if we made it work, what if I took you back before you moved on? I didn’t want to end things and I didn’t want to lose you, but you didn’t give me a choice. You had to get yourself together by yourself, because nothing I did seemed to be helping. Looking at potential jobs for you, helping you with your applications, supporting you when you went to college and did your essays for you, none of that really helped did it? You were too invested - addicted, to playing video games to prioritise anything else. I carried you when you needed it but I guess that didn’t do any good. I’m glad you’re happy where you are now and who you’re with, you deserve it. You look healthier now too. You told me that me leaving you made you wisen up and focus on looking after yourself more and getting yourself together, and you still wanted me back. I’m haunted by your words, saying you wanted to try again and this would be my last chance before you decided to move on. We live completely different lives now but I wish we were still in our apartment, watching anime together with Doritos and cuddled up on our sofa. Nothing but the past is ours now, but oh how I wish I could change that.