u/No_Trade7705

I (26M) have been seeing a woman (24F) I met on Hinge for almost 2 months, and I’m struggling badly with retroactive jealousy.

She’s caring, supportive, loving, and genuinely seems to care deeply about me. The problem is that I can’t stop obsessing over her past. Her body count before me is 4. One of those experiences was with a guy she met on Hinge. According to her, they talked for about a week on Hinge, went on two dates, slept together on the second date, and continued talking afterward for a while, but they never met again after having sex and it never became a relationship.

I view sex as something that should happen within meaningful relationships, so the idea of sleeping with someone that quickly really bothers me, even though I don’t want to feel this way.

Am I dealing with retroactive jealousy and trust issues, or is this simply a values incompatibility? Has anyone managed to get past something like this?

**I (26M) have been seeing a woman (24F) I met on Hinge for almost 2 months, and I’m struggling badly with retroactive jealousy.**

She’s caring, supportive, loving, and genuinely seems to care deeply about me. The problem is that I can’t stop obsessing over her past. Her body count before me is 4. One of those experiences was with a guy she met on Hinge. According to her, they talked for about a week on Hinge, went on two dates, slept together on the second date, and continued talking afterward for a while, but they never met again after having sex and it never became a relationship.

I view sex as something that should happen within meaningful relationships, so the idea of sleeping with someone that quickly really bothers me, even though I don’t want to feel this way.

To make things more complicated, on our first date I lied and said my body count was 8 and that I’d had a threesome, when in reality my body count is 4. I did this because I thought she’d be more comfortable telling me the truth about her past. Initially, she said her body count was 5, but two days after I admitted I had lied, she said her actual number was 4. Since then, I’ve questioned whether she’s being completely honest.

I’ve repeatedly brought up her past, asked for timelines, and said hurtful things that she didn’t deserve. I know this isn’t healthy, and I don’t want to keep hurting someone who has otherwise been very good to me.

Am I dealing with retroactive jealousy and trust issues, or is this simply a values incompatibility? Has anyone managed to get past something like this?

I (26M) have been seeing a woman (24F) I met on Hinge for almost 2 months, and I’m struggling badly with retroactive jealousy.

She’s caring, supportive, loving, and genuinely seems to care deeply about me. The problem is that I can’t stop obsessing over her past. Her body count before me is 4. One of those experiences was with a guy she met on Hinge. According to her, they talked for about a week on Hinge, went on two dates, slept together on the second date, and continued talking afterward for a while, but they never met again after having sex and it never became a relationship.

I view sex as something that should happen within meaningful relationships, so the idea of sleeping with someone that quickly really bothers me, even though I don’t want to feel this way.

To make things more complicated, on our first date I lied and said my body count was 8 and that I’d had a threesome, when in reality my body count is 4. I did this because I thought she’d be more comfortable telling me the truth about her past. Initially, she said her body count was 5, but two days after I admitted I had lied, she said her actual number was 4. Since then, I’ve questioned whether she’s being completely honest.

I’ve repeatedly brought up her past, asked for timelines, and said hurtful things that she didn’t deserve. I know this isn’t healthy, and I don’t want to keep hurting someone who has otherwise been very good to me.

Am I dealing with retroactive jealousy and trust issues, or is this simply a values incompatibility? Has anyone managed to get past something like this?