u/NonStickBakingPaper

I don’t know if I’m autistic, but every time I bring up my issues online a few autistic people let me know that they’re autistic and share my experience.So I tend to look at both allistic and autistic answers when trying to figure out what’s wrong with me.

A recent issue I’ve been struggling with is performing/masking/etc. It’s something I’ve done for a *long* time now, but every now and then I hit a bad patch where I get so exhausted and frustrated with it.

Essentially, whenever I socialise with people, I feel like the essence of “me” is sitting far back in my body, and a mask/face is fronting. That mask does all the interactions while “I” watch from the back, making sure the mask does every correctly.

It goes like this: Raise your voice here to signal excitement. Smile. Nod. Say “yeah,” “oh my god,” “no way,” etc. Make a big reaction with your face. Put energy into your voice to sound interested. Respond to their sentence to validate them. Don’t let there be awkward silence. Let them talk about what they’re interested in. Don’t interrupt. Keep your body language open. Maintain eye contact. Ask all the basics: “how are you,” “how was your weekend,” etc. If they tell you they did something, ask questions.

The list goes on. It’s exhausting and it’s constant. There’s no social interaction I have that is unscripted or unaffected by this mask. I hate it. I can’t stop it.

So whenever I try to search for what this could be, I get a lot of articles on autistic masking. And because of what some people have said to me in the past, I’ve wondered if it could be true.

Is this what masking is? And is this typical allistic masking/socialising or is this different (perhaps not necessarily autistic but still not “normal”??).

So yeah, if someone could explain in plain terms the difference that would be helpful. Thank you :)

Want to emphasise I am NOT looking for product recommendations at all, as I know that’s a big issue in this sub sometimes.

I’m really focused at the moment on wanting to get more into reusable stuff, as I’ve realised I was defaulting to single use, convenient, individually packaged, etc., stuff, and the waste it was generating was getting to me.

I’ve already started on things like making sure to actually bring my water bottle and food from home rather than buying them on my lunch break, and a few others that are food-related like not buying big bags of individually packaged chips or lollies.

But I wanted to know what are some common areas people default to single-use products when they don’t need to, and what are some alternatives? I know bathroom stuff is one I need to work on (make up wipes, for example), but I’m sure there’s many I don’t think about.

Not a make up question but idk where else to ask.

My mum has had two Manicare Supa Dry hair towels for literal decades, and she wants some new ones. I was hoping to get them for Mother’s Day but we cannot find any. Does anyone know where I can them or something close? And it needs to be a normal hair towel, not a turban wrap (I say that because the only ones I could find online were wraps).

TIA!

I always feel like such an idiot. My body isn’t right. It keeps having all of these muscular and nerve issues. But they often show up individually, like for a while it’s my lower back, then that gets better and now it’s my arms and hands. Then there’s other things like my feet pain and neck pain that never go away.

I feel like a loser going to the doctor because I have all these issues that just seem random and unrelated. I feel like there *must* be a link, but doctors don’t see it that way. They just look at the current complaint or they think you’re making it up.

I want to go to the doctor about my current hand issues because I think it’s carpal tunnel or some issue similar, and I don’t want it to get worse as it’s already impeding life, but I also don’t want my doctor thinking “oh, so it was your back before, and now your hands. There’s always something, isn’t there?” Especially when nothing showed up on the back x-Ray I had done.

But then I don’t want to see a new doctor because I don’t want to give the appearance I’m doctor hopping or anything.

Do I go? Do I just ignore it? How do you handle things when everything just feels random and disconnected?

It’s always been hard for me to accept and properly internalise that I have a chronic illness, and I’m finding now that I have to reckon with it. I’m trying to get healthier and more in-shape, but am realising that all of the fitness content online, including on reddit, is meant for able-bodied people.

I just feel bad because so many posts I see are about always pushing yourself, the whole “no-excuses” mindset, and I feel like a failure for not being able to keep up with this idea of what I should be doing. It’s supposed to be X times a week for X minutes, you should be doing X reps for X sets and so on so forth. And then all the diet stuff that’s all over the place.

The post is kind of a mess but I guess I’m just sad because I’m having to accept my chronic illness and realise that I can’t be part of those communities because they aren’t suited to me.

Does anyone else feel this way or have you been through this? I just feel sometimes like I’m not trying hard enough according to the standard but also don’t feel like I have anything more to give.

30F.

Since early/mid last year I was having pain in my left thumb, along the back of it. It’s tight, and I can’t bend it as well as I used to so it impedes my typing. It hurts (vague pain that’s hard to describe, sometimes sharp other times nerve-like) when I move it in seemingly random ways. I can’t crack that knuckle anymore, when I’ve always been able to easily and pain free crack all my knuckles. It is significantly worse in the cold.

It started when I was working out and I blamed the dumbbells I was using as I found holding the dumbbells aggravated it. But then it got worse as of October—I work retail and have to unpack a lot of incoming stock, and with Christmas and Black Friday at the end of the year, stock deliveries rev up from October onwards. I also play a lot of video games. I put it down to an RSI.

Not only is it getting worse, but now I’m getting the same pain in my right thumb (I’m right handed so I’m surprised it didn’t start in my right thumb). And I’m also getting pain in the palm-side base of my thumb and in the centre of the back and palm of my hands. I put the hand pain down to writer’s cramp (I handwrite somewhat frequently in my journal) because it feels sore and achy but it happened in both sides at the same time.

The pain isn’t too bad, maybe a 3-5 depending on the day or activity, but my main concern is I feel like the use of my hands is going and I’m scared. Even typing this is making my left thumb go numb and my right one hurt because of how much I’ve had to type.

I am officially diagnosed with POTS (not reslly relevant), and self-diagnosed with cubital tunnel (I haven’t spoken to a doctor about it but the symptoms are pretty textbook). I have also been experiencing some carpal tunnel symptoms over the past month or so but they are very infrequent.

I don’t take medication for anything. I sometimes take normal multivitamins or iron tablets. I have a 250ml electrolyte drink most days.