u/OGcaptaindingus

So I’m fairly new with making overnight oats. It appeals to me as something I can make when my son sleeps the night before, take to work, and eat with my toddler. However, I’m having a hard time getting the consistency I want. I love a thick and creamy oatmeal texture and typically opt for instant oats to get the texture I like, but I tried rolled oats overnight with milk, and steel cut with milk (but didn’t see you needed to cook sleep slightly before so it was super gritty), and I’m not getting the right consistency. Any tips on what I can do to get a better texture?

Idk if I need advice or solidarity but here we are since my husband isn’t supporting me in the way I need and I’m feeling awful right now.

My son is turning 1 on Friday. Yay! Right? Well, we’ve been struggling with his weight since his 9 month check up. Our pediatrician thinks he’s dropping from the 50th percentile and is going to sit in the 25-30th, especially since my husband was a thinner baby. However, two weeks ago he was 20.7lbs (yay, 30th percentile) and today he’s 18.9lbs. He’s lost almost 2lbs in 2 weeks.

He’s lost a lot of interest in eating solids. Cries at meal times, refuses anything offered minus berries and the occasional avocado. Might take a few bites of something and he’s done. Yesterday and Sunday he did better at dinner since I realized he wants to self-feed. But during the day? It’s hard to get him to eat. He’s also been teething for about a month or so (his 4 canines came in at the same time and as the top ones were poking through the gums, the first set of bottom molars decided to make their appearance) but I know it can affect appetite.

Now I’m officially very worried. I know it’ll probably be fine, but most of his nutrition will come from solids soon and he’s barely eating and losing weight. My husband says, “just don’t spiral” but that’s not helpful advice or helpful for me at all. I’m just sitting here feeling like a failure to my son who’s generally a happy boy because I’m worried about his health.

I don’t feel like celebrating my husband, the father of my child, today. I got him a card but that’s it. That’s all he got me for my first Mother’s Day last month, even after I sent him a link of a necklace that I wanted (which was on sale for $25) 6 weeks prior and he still decided to buy himself a $90 video game and “forgot” about the necklace, which I bought myself.

My husband doesn’t appreciate me or the effort I’ve put into being a mom. I take my son to work, I take off days when he’s sick, I’m still breastfeeding almost 11 months in, and when it came to show me appreciation for one day he had a hard time doing it.

He’s been dealing with alcoholism as well but has been relatively good about it lately. I’m just not in the mood to celebrate someone who has done less than the bare minimum since our son was born.

He let me go 48 hours on 3 hours of sleep when we first got back home from the hospital. He just kept going to sleep because he was tired and never offered to take over for me so I could rest. I even mentioned needing to sleep and he just got drunk and went to bed. I’m also suffering from severe PPA so I needed someone to be awake with our son those first few days. It took me calling my mom and having her come over so I could get sleep for him to make an effort.

He also got his second DUI when our son was 6 months old and 2 weeks before we were about to move. I thought he was home packing, I get home from work and he’s gone. 5 calls later and he tells me he’s being arrested, slurring his words, and trying to apologize.

I have major resentment towards him right now and frankly, I don’t feel like celebrating a dad who’s barely done anything for our son and who selfishly chooses to drink and drive.

Anyway, after our son’s first birthday we’re looking in couples counseling. We’re both now in individual therapy and he’s getting new medication as well as working on his alcoholism, but I’m losing my ability to believe in him, trust him, and I’m just still so mad.