u/Odd_Occasion212

TW for stupidly joking about suicide
And TLDR: dumb ass says dumb ass thing and doesn’t learn from his mistakes over the years. Just don’t want to socialise now

So I go to this local men’s gym mental health group. It’s awesome, and it’s the only social group I haven’t been kicked out of. I know it’s a bit pathetic to say, but I think I genuinely have some sort of social trauma from being excluded all the time. And MOST of the time, it is my fault.

So I have said some stupid shit, but most of the guys find it genuinely funny, I think. Yesterday the guys were doing lots of stuff, and I asked where I could stand so I wouldn’t get hit by anything, a guy responds “under the barbell, I promise I won’t drop it on you.” And I respond “haha maybe if the suicide hotline doesn’t work I’ll consider it”
Utter silence, and a “no thats not ok” from the guy that runs the group. I say “oh yeah that sounded bad” utter awkwardness and silence. The guy I made the joke to doesn’t even talk to me after that. I assume he’s gone through some stuff himself, god damn why tf did I say that in a mental health group.
NO SORRY. I hate saying sorry (unless I’ve got in someone’s way) and I don’t know why. I used to say sorry A LOT for no reason when I was younger, now I never say it. It’s like I ran out of sorrys.

I spoke to him again when the group was over, and this is what I said WORD FOR WORD.
“Well you know that joke earlier I didn’t mean it you know I say the worst things so yeah don’t worry well I should be saying that to myself
Ok pretend I said sorry I don’t like saying that word”
Just an awkward laugh from him, so I got bro some coffee and a few tea cakes and he finally seemed okay with me and apologised himself for “overreacting”. I said “no, no, you weren’t. No need to say sorry, you don’t owe an apology to someone who was in the wrong AND didn’t apologise themselves” and I still didn’t say sorry. God damn it

I don’t even know how to feel, this is going to live in my head rent free for years. Of course I can be like “ok I’ll work on myself and learn from this experience.” And it works, but then I regress back and do something just as bad, if not worse. I just wanna not socialise ever again now.

Not sure if I’m just unlucky and this is already a feature or it’s been discussed and I missed it somehow, but how would you guys feel about autonomous homework/home tasks depending on the zoi’s traits and needs? Im playing the Williams family in Bliss Bay and nobody does at-home tasks unless there is player intervention.
It would be a godsend for playing larger families imo

I have this black button up shirt with flowers on it (small yellow flowers) and every time I wear it I have had homophobic slurs yelled at me on the streets. Mostly by dumb kids but some adults too (all women, and if it’s men they’re in their cars driving by, so that’s why ive not fought anyone about it lol)
It’s just a shirt. I know I shouldn’t throw it out, but I like blending in and not standing out. I stand up for myself and others, but when it comes to the shirt I just ignore and keep walking. It’s such a nothing burger thing. I do live in a rural area, although the worst harassment I get is in the nearby larger towns.

I’m autistic so I just never know what to do, I just keep walking and don’t pay them any mind. If I get harassed about my disability or weight or anything else I stand up for myself though - I actually do a really good job at that, although apart from the shirt I haven’t been harassed/yelled at by anyone in a LOOONG time.
AFAIK I don’t have any feminine mannerisms or whatever, it’s only when I’m wearing that shirt I get homophobic comments.

Silly rant I know, but I just don’t get it. I ignore idiots but my brain calls me a coward/victim for not even acknowledging them. One time I pretended a group of teenagers didn’t even exist and put my earphones in, one of them went “oh wait I don’t think he’s gay.” (They were sitting behind me on the bus). To be fair I thought they were talking about someone else until they mentioned The Shirt TM

Ok rant over, I hate living in Scotland sometimes. God forbid a man wears flowers I guess, I don’t know how non-conforming/feminine men do it. Brave dudes.