u/OgXwMr

Pisces: Emotionally manipulative. Dump toxic energy on me. Take advantage of my kind side. Very shocked when confronted and play the victim.

Aquarius: Very self centred. Social climbers. Very shallow. Money and status hungry. Capricorn are known more for this, but Capricorn tend to want to earn their status and wealth from their own efforts, I actually like Capricorn.

I have multiple examples of these two over many years.

I’m Scorpio moon and sun. Virgo rising.

I am alert all day, my sleep has reduced, processing painful emotions, and I vomited this morning. I’m not mentally unwell, more like I’m actually writing better. I express everything I want to say, even the painful things I’ve been keeping to myself for decades because I would just feel angry and blame and lash out, but I’m being compassionate as I express these feelings. This started as soon as I got the moldavite.

I am alert all day, my sleep has reduced, processing painful emotions, and I vomited this morning. I’m not mentally unwell, more like I’m actually writing better. I express everything I want to say, even the painful things I’ve been keeping to myself for decades because I would just feel angry and blame and lash out, but I’m being compassionate as I express these feelings. This started as soon as I got the moldavite.

Hello everyone!

I’ve never fitted in. I was bullied and abused my whole life and I wondered why my parents, peers and everyone else treated me poorly. I was honest, I did nice things for people, I studied and got good grades etc

I’ve been frequently taken advantage of because I trusted the wrong people. The problem was, those people were the only people who wanted to be friends with me. And I always gave them the benefit of the doubt and believed whatever excuse or motive they told they had.

I had an ADHD assessment and they asked me if I was autistic. I told them I feel comfortable in my clothes and don’t collect things so I can’t be.

Then recently the algorithm showed me a lot of neurodivergent people with autism who had similar experiences and thought patterns to me. Everything they said made sense, it was like finally I found people who were just like me.

I started to read up on autism in women and learned about masking. I thought everyone had a persona they used to fit in. I even mask my psychosis, I mask everything about me and I thought it was just shame due to my trauma and poverty growing up.

Then I asked my GP for an assessment. He sent me a form of multiple tick boxes. I didn’t see any of the stereotype except for collecting things, which I ticked I never do that. I wasn’t sure what to expect but now I’m on a short waiting list for an assessment with the doctors who did my ADHD assessment.

I had no idea that autism was why people thought I was weird and either took advantage of me or rejected me.

Anyone else relate?

For context I’ll copy my last reiki one experience below:

“So I’m AuDHD and have trouble seeing people’s intentions towards me and unfortunately I’m taken advantage of a lot. I had this reiki healer I paid once to do reiki on me during PTSD and it helped. She called me to get more healing but I told her no because I couldn’t afford it and I also ended a subscription for distance healing. She said she’d do it for free because she said I desperately needed it. She did it for a while and I told her to stop and she pretty much refused and kept doing it. To cut a long and trauma heavy story short, I ended up in a dynamic where she imposed a mother daughter relationship and I ended up doing a lot for her in exchange for reiki I repeatedly asked her not to send me or offered to pay for. I also had PTSD guilt about my brother’s death thinking I had caused it and instead of her comforting me, she went into a fake trance to see if I killed him with my words and made wait agonisingly long before she declared I hadn’t. She had given me a level 1 attunement without teaching me reiki and gave me a textbook to read. When I wanted to progress I realised she hadn’t given me a certificate either. I ended paying for a level 1 and 2 for £300 which to me was cheap considering how much she made me feel I owed her for her reiki. I told her I went to another healer and she said “but I’m your mum and went elsewhere”. She sounded upset. I text her apologetic and explained again why I needed formal training. No answer. I text her a loooong text explaining myself again and telling her how much I appreciated her help. No reply. That’s when all the red flags 🚩 flooded to me and I realised she was exploiting ME and making me feel indebted to her. It was spiritual abuse on a vulnerable person. This dynamic had been going on 5 years. Moldavite cut the chord in 3 days.”

Today I’m getting getting formal training from a really well versed master. She is highly sought after and is educated in many fields, not just the metaphysical. I’m so grateful. Any advice on how to practice on myself?