u/Ok-Description739

Been trying to conceive for 14 months and still struggling with the fact that we can't will ourselves to get pregnant. "Working harder" means nothing for fertility. Sure there are tests, medications, and some treatments, but there is largely no reason why something works for some and not for others. I personally have PCOS and have done three cycles with letrozole, trigger, and monitoring, and three IUI's with letrozole, trigger, monitoring, bloodwork. Semen analysis is relatively good. Reason why I can't get pregnant? Unknown.

As a perfectionist myself, I have lived my life working hard for the things I want and earning them. Good grades in college, my dream career, my home, whatever it may be. But when it comes to trying to conceive, we just cant make it happen through hard work. Likewise, I have a hard time listening to influencers who suggest certain diets, workout routines, endless supplements, etc. I just don't want my life to revlolve around this process more than it already does. I don't believe in quick fixes. I don't think accupuncture or myo-inositol will help me conceive. I just don't understand this process and why it hasn't personally happened for me and many others I see on these reddits.

We have no control over what happens. There are no answers for our questions.

I expected it to hurt, but not this much. I have been trying to concieve for 13-14 months and this was my third IUI. Prior to this, I did three monitored cyles with letrozole and trigger. I have PCOS/PMOS and am slightly overweight. Im 28 and this was my last cycle to have a chance to have a baby before I turn 29. This process is gruesome. I never expected TTC to take so much out of me -- my joy, my soul, my hope. This process has shattered all of my expectations for my timelines in my life. I missed the opportunity to have a baby at 27 and now at 28. I have also missed other mental milestones that I should have never even put pressure on. Came and went.

This cycle is especially painful because my grandma died at the beginning of this cycle when I was getting my period. She was a maternal figure to me in my life. Now she is gone and I continue to have the pain of failed cycles.

This process is emotionally exhausting, physically taxing, financially burdensome, and overall just a joyless, hopeless, and painful process. I just want, so badly, to be on the other side of this process. I yearn to say "I'm pregnant" aloud, I yearn to start a family. All while others concieve quickly or without expensive and intrusive interventions. I feared my current path. I thought it wouldn't be me, but it is.

My first IUI my total motile sperm count was 16 million and now this one is as follows:

Pre-wash (original sample)
Volume: 3.6 mL
Concentration: 17.8 million/mL
Motility: 59%
Approx total motile sperm (pre-wash): ~36.8 million

Post-wash (IUI sample)
Volume: 0.5 mL
Concentration: 3.9 million/mL
Motility: 89%
Total motile sperm (TMSC): ~1.8 million

I’m severely concerned about my chances this cycle. I have only 6 IUI’s covered by insurance. Do I have any chances? Anyone else has success with similar numbers?

My follicle was 23.5 at trigger on Tuesday, triggered at 9:30 pm, iui was this morning (Thursday). Lining was 6.7.

Today is an extremely intense day for me emotionally. My husband and I have been trying to conceive since last June. We tried naturally from June-February. At that time, we started using letrozole, trigger, and monitoring. Three months of failed medicated cycles and we added iui.

I know the logic. Iui doesn’t substantially increase odds. It takes many people multiple cycles. Some may need IVF. Knowing all of this doesn’t change the heartbreaking feeling of an entire year of failed TTC. I have lost so much of myself in this process and am struggling to have any hope for the future.

Medical context: husband 30, me 28. PCOS diagnosis, high AMH and high DHEA-S. Acceptable sperm parameters besides 0% morphology. Ovulation has been achieved by use of letrozole, monitoring, ovidrel trigger. I take 2000 metformin daily. Also have an autoimmune condition that causes permanent hair loss called lichen planopilaris.

This past year has come and gone and has changed me in more ways than one. I used to be naive, hopeful, and excited to start a family. Now, I feel lucky to even be able to have one child in my life. My hope has faded and my expectations are extremely low. I couldn’t have ever imagined how painful this journey would be.

Success stories welcome. Encouragement welcome. Others experiences welcome. Questions welcome. Just looking for some input on this journey that others are also on. I don’t have many people to actually talk to, who really know what it’s like to experience this.

I’m on my third cycle of letrozole and this cycle I have three cysts. One complex on my left ovary and two simple cysts on my right side. I’m taking 7.5 mg of letrozole and had to do two rounds this cycle since my follicles didn’t show enough growth after the first round.

I am so worried about these cysts and I feel like I haven’t gotten any answers about them. The PA I regularly see is out of town and the PA covering for her had to leave the room to talk to the doctor about my scan to answer some of my questions. She admitted that she isn’t used to doing fertility stuff and I’m deeply unsettled by it.

The two cysts on the right look exactly the way my follicles have looked when they were about ready to ovulate. I’m worried that maybe she’s misinterpreting the scan, as she told me that my largest follicle was 15.9 and that we would wait a few days and just trigger.

There’s just a part of me that doesn’t trust her, and feels panicked about what it means to have 3 cysts during a medicated cycle. How long will they be here? At what point are they an emergency? Should they be monitored? How do I know they aren’t just follicles ready to ovulate? How do I know they’re not hormonally active?