u/Ok-Garden1010

We have been dealing with numerous false allegations of abuse towards the children, as well as drug and alcohol abuse. Over the past year we have had child protective services and police at our home, checking our home, drug testing us, interviewing us and the children numerous times. Everything unsubstantiated and/or labeled false in the reports, we’ve passed the drug tests. Child services caseworker won’t even talk to coparent anymore because of coparent’s constant reports and rude aggressive behavior.

Here’s my questions:

As angry as I am, and as hard as it is to even see this as an option, has anyone ever been through this and reached a point of being able to repair their Coparenting relationship? I just hate that it is this way for our children and would like to see peace eventually even though I’m furious at the damage they’ve done to the children, to us, our reputations and lives.

Second, has anyone ever been through this and had the person making false reports face repercussions for false reporting? I’d like to put a stop to this for good. This should be illegal. I was working on getting a job at my children’s school and when you have reports against you, that affects that. At this point, I’ve given up my wish to work at the school because I expect they’ll make more reports, which devastates me. They’re trying to get more custody time and shared legal, right now, I’m the primary parent. Given the circumstances and their questioning and trying to force our children to make false reports as well, they should not be awarded this at all.

Please tell me there’s something I can do here?

I always hoped my ex would find a nice gal to help him get it together because during our relationship and for a long time after he was hardly involved with the kids and very difficult to work with. Well… be careful what you wish for I guess.

His now wife didn’t really help him get it together by any means, she helps him pretend he has it together. Does everything for him, while trying to control every facet of mine and my children’s lives.

He can’t go anywhere without her; at this point I’m convinced he’s not allowed to. I know because of texts that were accidentally sent to me that she’s watching his location and questioning him on where he is. He once left work for an event at our child’s school and she immediately began questioning him on where he was, even though this had been on the calendar for months.

Well, now he just brings her to EVERYTHING. Doctor’s appointments, therapy appointments (she has sat in on intake and literally talked crap about me and my husband in front of my child), parent teach conferences, teacher meet and greets. Every time she cuts me off to providers and talks over me. It’s infuriating.

She was texting me constantly with her opinions on everything, trying to make medical and educational decisions but I think their attorney advised her to stop. Now we are on a parenting app and the messages are obviously coming from her, based off the way their written and the fact their coming all day during his work hours when he doesn’t have signal and isn’t able to be on his phone.

Oh and they’ve removed my info off parent portals to replace it with hers.

Our children start school this week and have meet and greets the next two days and he’s informed me he’s bringing her. I want to argue she doesn’t come, but it seems pointless and I’m worried it will seem controlling to the GAL even though the GAL is very aware of all of these issues. I’m just so over this woman trying to control everything.

My question is, what do I do here. Do I just sit back and deal with her coming and taking over the event?
Or do I try to say something about it? I really don’t want to start any conflict but I also don’t want to start the school year off on the wrong foot with our children’s teachers and them thinking she’s the main person to communicate with or something.

This is a vent post more than anything.

Biodad told me that step mom is just as much of a parent to our children as me and should have just as much say in decisions regarding them, conversation was specifically on the topic of a medical decision.

Also told me around Mother’s Day that I “better be getting her something” for the holiday because she’s just as much of a mom to our children as I am.

Uhhhhhhh… last I checked I carried the children in my womb and labored and birthed and breastfed them. I’m not opposed to them having a stepmom, he needs that help in his life and they need that care when at his house, but am I wrong for finding those comments just absolutely unreasonable and disrespectful towards me as their biomom?

Communication with our child has become an ongoing issue. For the longest time I was the one pushing for us to both have communication with her when she wasn’t in our homes and he was the one trying to put a stop to it. Now he’s trying to force communication and she doesn’t want to talk to him and say I can’t make her talk to him if she doesn’t want to because “dad doesn’t make me talk to you when I don’t want to”. I’ve tried to encourage and it’s causing conflict between her and I because she feels I’m forcing her to do something she doesn’t want to when her dad doesn’t. When I don’t make her call, I’ve received threats of legal action and now it’s being mentioned in filings against me. Mind you, I still don’t hear from her when she’s there hardly at all.

Recently texting has become an issue as well. I’ve received loads of concerning messages from her, some that seem above her knowledge level and others that mention the custody schedule and being mad at me about things that don’t make sense. When she gets home I’ve tried to have a heart to heart with her to address the messages and she’s said she didn’t send them and has even mentioned her dad and step mom taking her device to send me messages from it on multiple occasions. We should have a GAL on our case soon and are in the middle of litigation. My question is, what is the best way to document this and address this and what can I do about this. I don’t want her to lose the ability to text at all, but I have no idea what messages are coming from her anymore. They’ve started trying to adapt their texting to sound more like her typing words incorrectly and saying “daddy” and “mommy”. She’s too young to be texting in my opinion anyways, but she likes to be able to send silly videos and pictures from time to time and type out things since she’s really taken a liking to reading and writing recently.