u/OkWaltz5832

To post something positive for once, I actually am very happy there is actual progress in research that might point to me being different from cis women on a biological level. Usually I get very dysphoric about not being "fully male", but it is something I can live with if I'm also not a woman. There are still some things that I wish I knew, like why do we feel gender dysphoria and how does that connect with us being trans, but I'm overall pretty optimistic about everything right now.

I don't know if this question has been asked here before (probably has), but I just want to know if there are any supplements for beard growth and if any of you have any experience?

I know about minoxidil, but I've noticed it's kind of expensive and also mostly used for scalp hair, I'm also not sure if I'd have to keep using it to prevent that hair from falling off or something. I've also noticed cheaper products online, usually labeled as "beard growth boosters" that I assume are not minoxidil, so I also want to know if any of you have experience with that.

I'm on T and have kind of a teenage boy stache with a few hairs on my chin (which is solid for my age I guess, I'm 18 and most guys around me don't have significant facial hair), but I feel "naked" in a way when I look into the mirror, like I just shaved my face and something is missing and feels off, I never wanted a lot of facial hair but I think some more hair on my jawline would make it look more sharp and masculine. My dads and grandfathers thick facial hair always grew really fast, so I think if I waited a few years it would start growing by itself, but I'm pretty excited for it and can't wait

i recently came across some new terms on tiktok - hiplet and manlet, just to realize being a trans man lowkey makes me both a hiplet and a manlet. i hope tiktok gets banned again

Lately I have been more dysphoric about my body and I feel like no one really understand that struggle. I have never found community in most trans spaces, because I feel like they focus more on the social aspect of living as a trans man (like disliking your body due to it being judged/talked about and finding pride in yourself), while I never really felt that pain.

Focusing on those things is not bad and the social struggles are very much real, i'm jealous of people who found pride in their transness because of these communities/therapy and don't mind sharing it to the whole world, because I will never be like that. I wish I wasn't trans, it made my life harder in almost every aspect, despite living a privileged life I still had to deeply think about a bunch of shit that doesn't even cross the minds of other people my age, the worst of all is that my body partly works against me and besides awful dysphoria/having to take medication and pay for surgeries, I've had to grieve the fact that I will never get to choose if I want to have biological children from a very early age, which most cis people discover/deal with way later and struggle deeply. If I could choose not being trans I would choose it 100%.

I just wanted to say that it's okay to not feel prideful about being trans, acceptance is key. You can accept something and live with it despite acknowledging you dislike it. Don't be an asshole to other people because of how they choose to express their identity, in return they have to respect the fact that a thing that makes them prideful makes you misreable. I would rather not be trans and i'm okay with that, there's nothing I can do about it.

I have been trying to bond with my family lately, after I came out (which was not catastrophic, but it didn't go well either) a few years ago our relationship was basically non-existent. This christmas they decided to start using my correct name and pronouns because they saw that not using it was causing us to drift apart, I appreciated that a lot and tried to build a sincere relationship with them ever since, but there is just something that feels off about it.

Pretty much everyone in my life knows i'm trans (not that I go around and tell every person I meet, I just still haven't moved from my hometown) and when it comes to friends, I don't mind it as much, but with someone who feels so connected to my "old me" it feels wrong. They often show me/send me old photos and talk about our past way too much, and I think that the reason they do it so often is that they're probably grieving in some way, but I hate it and it makes me so uncomfortable. I'm also grieving, I keep grieving the childhood I didn't have and the experiences I could have lived and the how my life could have been way easier.

The fact that they just know is making me feel weird and dysphoric when I talk to them, the fact that they saw me as a little girl for most of my life and now, they have to call me by a guys name and pronouns when it probably feels so unnatural to them (because honestly, most people over 40 probably don't think deeply about gender and transgender people, they only think being born a boy = boy childhood = man adulthood) and my biggest fear is that they see me as something "in between" and not like a man because I don't fit their perception of one. Does this feeling go away the longer I live with it or should I do something about it?

I just realized that if I wasn't trans and didn't have massive dysphoria over my body parts and was just born a cis guy I would just straight up do porn. I would be dumb as hell to learn any marketing strategies and think my super mid physique is enough to get succesful in the industry so it would just flop hard and I'd fuck people for pennies while having an insane digital footprint. Atleast I'd have a good time probably, the other stuff would fuck me up so having dysphoria in this lifetime is not so bad in comparision I guess

I'm 5.5 and kind of average (maybe on the skinnier side), i'm 2 years on T and I've passed even before it, and I've noticed that a lot of people (whether they know/don't know that i'm trans) assume i'm a gay guy. Could this be because I kind of look younger and people associate that with feminity, therefore being gay? I also have very voluminous hair (I don't even know the name of the hair cut, but it's very similiar to what Joe Keery had in stranger things, i can't find a barber in my town that has a free schedule lol) and dress pretty basic, usually something like a polo shirt/hawaiian shirt/darker sweaters with shorts or jeans. I don't find that style feminine whatsoever, but I guess people generally do?

I wouldn't mind getting read as gay since I'm bi, but the men in my area ain't shit and girls usually take that first impression of assuming i'm gay and only see me as a guy friend after (but a lot of the girls I know also have a problem with dating shorter guys and in my experience men are just way more open to dating trans people, so there's that)

It doesn't make me feel insecure to be seen as gay, I like the way I dress and look and it makes me feel masculine even if people don't see it that way, but I was just wondering if this is a common experience? Even though i don't feel bad about being myself, I do have an issue with people treating me differently, usually straight men don't even talk to me because of their prejudice towards gay men.

I would seriously rather have absolutely nothing down there than the anatomy that i have now. I have noticed that despite having dysphoria from not having a dick, the dysphoria from having my current anatomy is 10 times more lethal to my emotional state for some reason, is that common with guys with severe dysphoria?

There's nothing I wouldn't do for my phallo appointment to be sooner but what can ya do

I'm on T and already know that i'm trans and there's nothing i can do about it, nor would i try to change it. i'm okay with living as a man and would never choose to live as a woman, but i just can't accept the fact that i will have to go through so many things that other people just won't. i'm having a hard time accepting that i still have certain organs and won't be able to get rid of them for a while, even after i do i will have scars on my body, forever reminding me of the procces i had to go through, which was horrible.

I see people talking about their scars as a symbol of something positive, i see it as a symbol of the disgusting treatment and prejudice from medical professionals/administrative people i had to face to have something other people have automatically. i don't ever want to be reminded of the fact that i'm trans ever, but i constantly am, i don't hate myself, but i do hate my body and would do anything to live in a different one. Sometimes i spiral about the fact that i have certain reproductive organs and at that moment, i want to destroy every single relationship and everything i've ever liked in my life just because it feels right.

i know i will never be one of the people who proudly preach about their transness, i just wish i had more of a neutral stance. therapy doesn't do shit, i just talk for one hour about what has bothered me lately and then i leave, it's not a magical cure and i know there is so much anger inside of me that i just have to figure out how to get rid of in a different way.

I was just wondering what your opinions on being automatically categorized as queer are.

For example, despite being a trans man, I do not identify with the queer label and do not wish to be seen that way. I know I will at some point meet people who will see me as queer just for being trans and I guess there is nothing I can do about that, I just don't like the fact that my own community sometimes treats me like someone who just has to be culturally queer when I always related to the cis men in my life rather than other, very visibly queer trans people in my life.

I'm bi, so I know that being in a relationship with a man will always be queer to people, but my relationships with women are not queer or gay at all, honestly if I was straight I would probably get pissed whenever someone saw all my relationships as anything but strictly straight.

Yesterday I went on a walk and saw some pretty flowers on the sidewalk, I thought that it would be good to do something nice for myself and picked them up to put them in a cup with water in my room. After I did it, I immediately started thinking about whether they feel pain, have conciousness and if it makes me a bad person to kill a bunch of innocent beings. I kept googling the answers to my questions to justify my behaviour and then I realized that if any of my friends told me that they might be bad people for murdering plants, i'd think they're nuts. This feels so absurd i just had to write it somewhere lmao

I understand that there are things like chromosomes that you cannot change, but I just think that biological sex is more than that. I'm 2 years on T now, will get top surgery soon and plan on hysterectomy, oophorectomy and phallo in the future and I seriously don't think I will be more female than male at that point. Yes, gender and sex are two different things but neither of those are just strict binaries. Just unfollowed a favourite ftm content creator because he replied to a comment calling him a female saying it's true

I just feel like I can't handle anymore transphobia from other people and as a very horny person, I started to sexualize it in order to have some "power" over it. I have massive bottom dysphoria and have been devastated by the fact that I won't be able to have bottom surgery in the next few years more times than I can count this year, it got to the point where I got borderline suicidal about it and the only way I knew how to cope with this feeling is to make it sexual.

I think about having sex with my front part often and it disgusts me, I feel overhelming shame about it every time I do think about it. I tried being a little sex positive and took the tucute route for a while, saying that I don't have any dysphoria connected to my bottom half, but I knew that I hate it and it makes me feel terrible to imagine having sex with it. I don't know how else do I even have enjoyable sex with another person if touching my genitals (or even looking at them) makes me dysphoric, but I guess I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

I just feel like such a fraud, like I'm lying about being trans even though I have never been sure of anything more. I have urges that I don't know how to get rid of and they're kind of ruining my mental health. Any idea how to cope with this and get rid of the thoughts?

I'm openly trans and bi (preference for women) to pretty much everyone, but I feel like instead of attracting girls I just attract weird men. Like 90% of the people who have addmited to finding me attractive/hit on me are men who are social rejects/borderline abusive/just awkward in general. I do get a compliment from women once in a while, but it's nothing I would consider flirty.

And the thing is, I don't even dislike men and would be flattered if they wanted to hit on me, but I don't know if I give a certain impression that attracts strange men or if it's just a trans guy thing, a lot of trans guys I know are in relationships with either other trans guys or \*those\* kinds of cis men.

But seriously though, is this common for us or do I most likely give off some kind of vibes that have nothing to do with me being trans?

I'm openly trans and bi (preference for women) to pretty much everyone, but I feel like instead of attracting girls I just attract weird men. Like 90% of the people who have addmited to finding me attractive/hit on me are men who are social rejects/borderline abusive/just awkward in general. I do get a compliment from women once in a while, but it's nothing I would consider flirty.

And the thing is, I don't even dislike men and would be flattered if they wanted to hit on me, but I don't know if I give a certain impression that attracts strange men or if it's just a trans guy thing, a lot of trans guys I know are in relationships with either other trans guys or *those* kinds of cis men.

But seriously though, is this common for us or do I most likely give off some kind of vibes that have nothing to do with me being trans?

I've kind of been feeling like a fraud for calling myself a man, because I don't fit into neither the male or female category, I also don't believe that gender (as in socially constructed) should be a thing. I always thought that my brain was male and that was what made me a man, but I just learned that there is no clear consistent difference between the male and female brain and dysphoria is caused by body perception and assigned sex mismatch. That made me wonder, is there something about me biologically that actually makes me "more male" which is the reason for me being trans, or am I just trans because of the mismatch in perception? I'm kind of spiraling because of this, so I would be happy if I found an answer that makes sense.

I genuinely thought about this because my bottom dysphoria is absolutely killing me, i'm not ace/aro or anything, but i don't really like sex because it reminds me of what i don't have and even worse, of what i have right now.

i fear that people attracted to me are either attracted to my current genitalia, which i find very dysphoria inducing and i feel disgust towards that person, or those who wish i had a dick, and i don't want to be with someone who wishes i had something i just don't have right now (for both mine and their good).

i have always struggled with centering my life/self worth around being romantically and sexually appealing, so i think focusing on different relationships and aspects of my life doesn't sound like such a bad idea.

I have some questions for those of you who went completely celibate:

**Are you happy with your decision? Or did it feel more "forced" considering your circumstances?**

**For how long have you been celibate?**

**Did you see an improvement in handling dysphoria/excelling in other areas in life?**

**Did you ever have to repress your romantic/sexual feelings for someone?**

**Do you daydream about your dating life post-op, or does it not cross your mind that much?**

**Do you find it hard to feel attractive, when there's no need to impress anyone?**

No need to answer all of those, anyone is welcome to answer

I genuinely thought about this because my bottom dysphoria is absolutely killing me, i'm not ace/aro or anything, but i don't really like sex because it reminds me of what i don't have and even worse, of what i have right now.

i fear that people attracted to me are either attracted to my current genitalia, which i find very dysphoria inducing and i feel disgust towards that person, or those who wish i had a dick, and i don't want to be with someone who wishes i had something i just don't have right now (for both mine and their good).

i have always struggled with centering my life/self worth around being romantically and sexually appealing, so i think focusing on different relationships and aspects of my life doesn't sound like such a bad idea.

I have some questions for those of you who went completely celibate:

**Are you happy with your decision? Or did it feel more "forced" considering your circumstances?**

**For how long have you been celibate?**

**Did you see an improvement in handling dysphoria/excelling in other areas in life?**

**Did you ever have to repress your romantic/sexual feelings for someone?**

**Do you daydream about your dating life post-op, or does it not cross your mind that much?**

**Do you find it hard to feel attractive, when there's no need to impress anyone?**

No need to answer all of those, anyone is welcome to answer (FtM/MtF)

i genuinely thought about this because my bottom dysphoria is absolutely killing me, i'm not ace/aro or anything, but i don't really like sex because it reminds me of what i don't have and even worse, of what i have right now.

i fear that people attracted to me are either attracted to my current genitalia, which i find very dysphoria inducing and i feel disgust towards that person, or those who wish i had a dick, and i don't want to be with someone who wishes i had something i just don't have right now (for both mine and their good).

i have always struggled with centering my life/self worth around being romantically and sexually appealing, so i think focusing on different relationships and aspects of my life doesn't sound like such a bad idea.

I have some questions for those of you who went completely celibate:

Are you happy with your decision? Or did it feel more "forced" considering your circumstances?

For how long have you been celibate?

Did you see an improvement in handling dysphoria/excelling in other areas in life?

Did you ever have to repress your romantic/sexual feelings for someone?

Do you daydream about your dating life post-op, or does it not cross your mind that much?

Do you find it hard to feel attractive, when there's no need to impress anyone?

No need to answer all of those, anyone is welcome to answer (FtM/MtF)