u/OkWaltz5832

I'm 5.5 and kind of average (maybe on the skinnier side), i'm 2 years on T and I've passed even before it, and I've noticed that a lot of people (whether they know/don't know that i'm trans) assume i'm a gay guy. Could this be because I kind of look younger and people associate that with feminity, therefore being gay? I also have very voluminous hair (I don't even know the name of the hair cut, but it's very similiar to what Joe Keery had in stranger things, i can't find a barber in my town that has a free schedule lol) and dress pretty basic, usually something like a polo shirt/hawaiian shirt/darker sweaters with shorts or jeans. I don't find that style feminine whatsoever, but I guess people generally do?

I wouldn't mind getting read as gay since I'm bi, but the men in my area ain't shit and girls usually take that first impression of assuming i'm gay and only see me as a guy friend after (but a lot of the girls I know also have a problem with dating shorter guys and in my experience men are just way more open to dating trans people, so there's that)

It doesn't make me feel insecure to be seen as gay, I like the way I dress and look and it makes me feel masculine even if people don't see it that way, but I was just wondering if this is a common experience? Even though i don't feel bad about being myself, I do have an issue with people treating me differently, usually straight men don't even talk to me because of their prejudice towards gay men.

I would seriously rather have absolutely nothing down there than the anatomy that i have now. I have noticed that despite having dysphoria from not having a dick, the dysphoria from having my current anatomy is 10 times more lethal to my emotional state for some reason, is that common with guys with severe dysphoria?

There's nothing I wouldn't do for my phallo appointment to be sooner but what can ya do

I'm on T and already know that i'm trans and there's nothing i can do about it, nor would i try to change it. i'm okay with living as a man and would never choose to live as a woman, but i just can't accept the fact that i will have to go through so many things that other people just won't. i'm having a hard time accepting that i still have certain organs and won't be able to get rid of them for a while, even after i do i will have scars on my body, forever reminding me of the procces i had to go through, which was horrible.

I see people talking about their scars as a symbol of something positive, i see it as a symbol of the disgusting treatment and prejudice from medical professionals/administrative people i had to face to have something other people have automatically. i don't ever want to be reminded of the fact that i'm trans ever, but i constantly am, i don't hate myself, but i do hate my body and would do anything to live in a different one. Sometimes i spiral about the fact that i have certain reproductive organs and at that moment, i want to destroy every single relationship and everything i've ever liked in my life just because it feels right.

i know i will never be one of the people who proudly preach about their transness, i just wish i had more of a neutral stance. therapy doesn't do shit, i just talk for one hour about what has bothered me lately and then i leave, it's not a magical cure and i know there is so much anger inside of me that i just have to figure out how to get rid of in a different way.

I was just wondering what your opinions on being automatically categorized as queer are.

For example, despite being a trans man, I do not identify with the queer label and do not wish to be seen that way. I know I will at some point meet people who will see me as queer just for being trans and I guess there is nothing I can do about that, I just don't like the fact that my own community sometimes treats me like someone who just has to be culturally queer when I always related to the cis men in my life rather than other, very visibly queer trans people in my life.

I'm bi, so I know that being in a relationship with a man will always be queer to people, but my relationships with women are not queer or gay at all, honestly if I was straight I would probably get pissed whenever someone saw all my relationships as anything but strictly straight.

Yesterday I went on a walk and saw some pretty flowers on the sidewalk, I thought that it would be good to do something nice for myself and picked them up to put them in a cup with water in my room. After I did it, I immediately started thinking about whether they feel pain, have conciousness and if it makes me a bad person to kill a bunch of innocent beings. I kept googling the answers to my questions to justify my behaviour and then I realized that if any of my friends told me that they might be bad people for murdering plants, i'd think they're nuts. This feels so absurd i just had to write it somewhere lmao

I understand that there are things like chromosomes that you cannot change, but I just think that biological sex is more than that. I'm 2 years on T now, will get top surgery soon and plan on hysterectomy, oophorectomy and phallo in the future and I seriously don't think I will be more female than male at that point. Yes, gender and sex are two different things but neither of those are just strict binaries. Just unfollowed a favourite ftm content creator because he replied to a comment calling him a female saying it's true

I just feel like I can't handle anymore transphobia from other people and as a very horny person, I started to sexualize it in order to have some "power" over it. I have massive bottom dysphoria and have been devastated by the fact that I won't be able to have bottom surgery in the next few years more times than I can count this year, it got to the point where I got borderline suicidal about it and the only way I knew how to cope with this feeling is to make it sexual.

I think about having sex with my front part often and it disgusts me, I feel overhelming shame about it every time I do think about it. I tried being a little sex positive and took the tucute route for a while, saying that I don't have any dysphoria connected to my bottom half, but I knew that I hate it and it makes me feel terrible to imagine having sex with it. I don't know how else do I even have enjoyable sex with another person if touching my genitals (or even looking at them) makes me dysphoric, but I guess I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

I just feel like such a fraud, like I'm lying about being trans even though I have never been sure of anything more. I have urges that I don't know how to get rid of and they're kind of ruining my mental health. Any idea how to cope with this and get rid of the thoughts?

I'm openly trans and bi (preference for women) to pretty much everyone, but I feel like instead of attracting girls I just attract weird men. Like 90% of the people who have addmited to finding me attractive/hit on me are men who are social rejects/borderline abusive/just awkward in general. I do get a compliment from women once in a while, but it's nothing I would consider flirty.

And the thing is, I don't even dislike men and would be flattered if they wanted to hit on me, but I don't know if I give a certain impression that attracts strange men or if it's just a trans guy thing, a lot of trans guys I know are in relationships with either other trans guys or \*those\* kinds of cis men.

But seriously though, is this common for us or do I most likely give off some kind of vibes that have nothing to do with me being trans?

I'm openly trans and bi (preference for women) to pretty much everyone, but I feel like instead of attracting girls I just attract weird men. Like 90% of the people who have addmited to finding me attractive/hit on me are men who are social rejects/borderline abusive/just awkward in general. I do get a compliment from women once in a while, but it's nothing I would consider flirty.

And the thing is, I don't even dislike men and would be flattered if they wanted to hit on me, but I don't know if I give a certain impression that attracts strange men or if it's just a trans guy thing, a lot of trans guys I know are in relationships with either other trans guys or *those* kinds of cis men.

But seriously though, is this common for us or do I most likely give off some kind of vibes that have nothing to do with me being trans?

I've kind of been feeling like a fraud for calling myself a man, because I don't fit into neither the male or female category, I also don't believe that gender (as in socially constructed) should be a thing. I always thought that my brain was male and that was what made me a man, but I just learned that there is no clear consistent difference between the male and female brain and dysphoria is caused by body perception and assigned sex mismatch. That made me wonder, is there something about me biologically that actually makes me "more male" which is the reason for me being trans, or am I just trans because of the mismatch in perception? I'm kind of spiraling because of this, so I would be happy if I found an answer that makes sense.

I genuinely thought about this because my bottom dysphoria is absolutely killing me, i'm not ace/aro or anything, but i don't really like sex because it reminds me of what i don't have and even worse, of what i have right now.

i fear that people attracted to me are either attracted to my current genitalia, which i find very dysphoria inducing and i feel disgust towards that person, or those who wish i had a dick, and i don't want to be with someone who wishes i had something i just don't have right now (for both mine and their good).

i have always struggled with centering my life/self worth around being romantically and sexually appealing, so i think focusing on different relationships and aspects of my life doesn't sound like such a bad idea.

I have some questions for those of you who went completely celibate:

**Are you happy with your decision? Or did it feel more "forced" considering your circumstances?**

**For how long have you been celibate?**

**Did you see an improvement in handling dysphoria/excelling in other areas in life?**

**Did you ever have to repress your romantic/sexual feelings for someone?**

**Do you daydream about your dating life post-op, or does it not cross your mind that much?**

**Do you find it hard to feel attractive, when there's no need to impress anyone?**

No need to answer all of those, anyone is welcome to answer

I genuinely thought about this because my bottom dysphoria is absolutely killing me, i'm not ace/aro or anything, but i don't really like sex because it reminds me of what i don't have and even worse, of what i have right now.

i fear that people attracted to me are either attracted to my current genitalia, which i find very dysphoria inducing and i feel disgust towards that person, or those who wish i had a dick, and i don't want to be with someone who wishes i had something i just don't have right now (for both mine and their good).

i have always struggled with centering my life/self worth around being romantically and sexually appealing, so i think focusing on different relationships and aspects of my life doesn't sound like such a bad idea.

I have some questions for those of you who went completely celibate:

**Are you happy with your decision? Or did it feel more "forced" considering your circumstances?**

**For how long have you been celibate?**

**Did you see an improvement in handling dysphoria/excelling in other areas in life?**

**Did you ever have to repress your romantic/sexual feelings for someone?**

**Do you daydream about your dating life post-op, or does it not cross your mind that much?**

**Do you find it hard to feel attractive, when there's no need to impress anyone?**

No need to answer all of those, anyone is welcome to answer (FtM/MtF)

i genuinely thought about this because my bottom dysphoria is absolutely killing me, i'm not ace/aro or anything, but i don't really like sex because it reminds me of what i don't have and even worse, of what i have right now.

i fear that people attracted to me are either attracted to my current genitalia, which i find very dysphoria inducing and i feel disgust towards that person, or those who wish i had a dick, and i don't want to be with someone who wishes i had something i just don't have right now (for both mine and their good).

i have always struggled with centering my life/self worth around being romantically and sexually appealing, so i think focusing on different relationships and aspects of my life doesn't sound like such a bad idea.

I have some questions for those of you who went completely celibate:

Are you happy with your decision? Or did it feel more "forced" considering your circumstances?

For how long have you been celibate?

Did you see an improvement in handling dysphoria/excelling in other areas in life?

Did you ever have to repress your romantic/sexual feelings for someone?

Do you daydream about your dating life post-op, or does it not cross your mind that much?

Do you find it hard to feel attractive, when there's no need to impress anyone?

No need to answer all of those, anyone is welcome to answer (FtM/MtF)

I know most trans guys start off by getting top surgery, but i genuinelly think that full hysterectomy will bring me the most relief from dysphoria that there can be. i don't want to have anything in common with ovaries or an uterus, i just want that shit gone as soon as possible.

I kind of keep seeing tiktoks about trans guys getting pregnant/doing egg retrievals (and i don't give a shit about what they do, it's their decision), but it makes me so fucking dysphoric. I wish i could just get on hormone blockers even though i'm already on T just to feel mentally okayish with my body. Does anyone have any experience with that? And please don't talk about taking birth control, i know it's "basically the same", but it is not to me. That would make the dysphoria hella worse

I know most trans guys start off by getting top surgery, but i genuinelly think that full hysterectomy will bring me the most relief from dysphoria that there can be. i don't want to have anything in common with ovaries or an uterus, i just want that shit gone as soon as possible.

I kind of keep seeing tiktoks about trans guys getting pregnant/doing egg retrievals (and i don't give a shit about what they do, it's their decision), but it makes me so fucking dysphoric. I wish i could just get on hormone blockers even though i'm already on T just to feel mentally okayish with my body. Does anyone have any experience with that?

I have always had girl friends (despite not really having similiar interests/humor) because i feel like they are just more chill about me being trans, i don't think it was ever brought up in our conversations, but recently i made two guy friends that i'm really close with just to get reminded how much it sucks not to be stealth.

One of them is pretty okay with me being trans and we don't talk about it, but sometimes he mentions me not having a dick (and even worse, having the other anatomy) as a part of a joke or a casual conversation and i just feel like i want to shut him off and never talk to him again. I know he doesn't really mean any harm, he's a pretty progressive straight guy who is friends with a LOT of queer people, so i guess he just thinks that because talking about those things with other friends is okay means it's okay with me, i want to establish some boundaries but every time we bring it up, i just get nauseous and want to change the subject as fast as possible. i just wish i didn't have to deal with this shit

The other one is kind of worse. i used to go drinking to his house a lot with our other friends, the last time i was there he was totally wasted. He was talking about one very hard particular time in his relationship when he almost broke up with his girlfriend. he mentioned that at some point, he felt so desperate for connection he thought about being with me if things didn't work out - a completely straight guy by the way. I don't want to hear any bullshit about how sexuality is different for everyone and other shit, he would never think of me in this way if i were one of his cis guy friends.

I wish I could just go stealth with my future friends but i feel like i can't. Not because being trans is a huge part of my identity and i need everyone to know, but because i'd always be anxious about them finding out and suddenly seeing me differently, because i know they would. i wish people would just see it the same way they see another medical condition and move on.

I'm in my third year of high school and about two years on T. I look like a guy and nobody misgenders me, to me it always seemed like people didn't pay that much attention to it (even though everyone knows). I'd say i'm generally respected by most people, but one of my friends just told me that sometimes other guys say weird comments about me, particularly about me being trans. They usually talk about which bathroom I go to or how weird it is that I go to PE with them, my friend says they only talk about me like once in 2-3 months so i'm not the center of their attention most of the time, but in his words, when they do talk about me they "thrive" on it.

I already knew some people have made weird remarks about it in the past, but I thought that nobody really cared and that they just saw me as any other guy. I'm kind of upset that I never had a chance of even being friends with those guys because they have already judged me based off something that I cannot control, I just want to have the same starting line as everyone else. The majority of my class are girls who are more empathetic towards it (or atleast don't talk about it publicly), I think the only reason they don't make these comments in front of me is that they'd get shit from them. How am I supposed to go back to school and be okay with this?