u/Ok_Day4205

I received a TJO which starts me at a GS-5. Mind you, the current TJO I have was revised from the first one I received (which changed my GS from 6 to 5). The promotion potential is a GS9 competitively, however, I didn’t see a ladder for my position in the TJO. I’m wondering if my official job offer will include a ladder or if what I see in the TJO is what I’ll officially get (haven’t got the official offer yet). I’m new to being a federal employee and I want to know how it would work if I wanted to get promoted to the next GS level and how difficult that might be. I don’t want to be stuck at a GS5 for more than a year, especially with the cost of living.

I got a TJO offer that I thought was great for this new job. I accepted it. Weeks later HR comes back to tell me they want to lower my salary and make up for it by increasing relocation expense coverage. They said I don’t fit criteria to qualify for higher pay and I know it’s bullshit. So they’re rescinding the original and giving me a new TJO. I have to accept it because I don’t have a choice. Yes, I know I’m being taken advantage of. I’m gonna make 40K annually for my job. Planning to move to Little Rock, AR. Is this a livable wage? Can I live comfortable on this?
Any advice or lifestyle choices I may need to make? This would be my first time living on my own, so it’s hard to imagine what I’ll be able to afford and what I won’t. For the original offer I got excited about being able to join clubs and decorate my place. Maybe it was a bit ambitious even with the original TJO but especially now.

My brother 15 now. Just a boy, but I strongly dislike him and don’t think he has a bright future ahead of him genuinely. Sometimes I feel like it’s horrible for me to view him so poorly now despite being much nicer to him and somewhat caring about him. I used to hate his guts and genuinely wished he never existed when we were younger. He was always a very selfish, perverted, lying brat and he mostly gets away with it even today. Again, I don’t treat him like a nuisance like I used to, but I still see him poorly because I observe his character hasn’t changed. I’m not surprised considering my parents don’t really treat him with discipline or any expectation outside of taking out the trash every now and then and doing schoolwork.
Listen. In the back of my mind, I still remember those times when he would get my little sister in trouble constantly (for something she never did or said and would result in severe beatings) by lying all the time so he could get out of punishments. He begin his incessant lying habits since ever he became a born-again Christian when he was like 8 (you know praying the little prayer) I guess the psychology of him becoming a believer he could no longer be caught doing wrong now because he was “good now”. I remember those times when he would touch and grab at my sister inappropriately and try to watch my sisters under the bathroom door when they showered, and when I’d try to tell my parents they told me I was just reading into it too much. He’d even masturbate in front of me and my sisters whenever we watched movies together for months because our parents wouldn’t believe us if we told them what he was doing. I remember him saying deliberately hurtful things to my sisters and me and if we responded in anger towards him, we’d get in trouble for not being kinder. We were all emotionally exhausted of him because he knew he could treat us like shit without repercussions, especially if we responded angrily towards him. My parents always were more protective of my brother because boys have it harder in life and they believed when we complained about him that it was just because we hated men, not hated his behavior. Sometimes it still maddens me when my mom claims it’s easier to raise boys. Yet my brother was the most difficult person to live around. Had me seeing red all the time until I finally stopped living with family.
Despite him only being a kid when he did all of this (and still one) I’m still see him through the lens of his poor character. It’s not a narrative I create. Just observe right in front of me. I don’t think I’ve completely forgiven him for all the things he’s done and gotten away with doing. I should be more mad at my parents because it’s not entirely his fault when he wasn’t raised to be think with accountability in mind. He has a milder personality now, but I see glimpses of his shitty character sometimes when we argue. I always get in trouble for not being kinder to my brother and showing him grace, but it’s just hard to be amicable to such a shitty person who will never grow out of being a shitty person because he’s never been held accountable for being a fucking shitty person.
Am I being unreasonable? Can you relate when it comes to your siblings?

So…Jacob has two wives. David had multiple wives and concubines. Solomon had multiple wives and concubines. Though the Bible emphasizes faithfulness in marriage, literally can’t find a verse explicitly being against polygamy. David had multiple wives and ancient-day sex workers under him and was not rebuked over it until he cheated on multiple of his wives with Beersheba. You guys may say oh but God warned Solomon about having multiple wives but no he didn’t. He warned Solomon against having multiple ‘pagan’ wives that would lead him astray into idol worship. When God got a chance to speak to Solomon about his marital affairs, he didn’t speak against polygamy. In fact, sometimes if the patriarch’s wealth was spoken of in the Bible through a list of all the property and livestock and wives they had (specifically referring to David and Solomon). None of the important men in the Bible were explicitly confronted or judged on polygamy itself. Sometimes people say, well God wasn’t trying to address every sin in the culture, but when I read through the sheer amount of laws and festivals and rituals in Numbers and Deuteronomy, I doubt God couldn’t enforce the rules because the “culture was different”. As if he wouldn’t address sin that was too much or impossible to ask of the Israelites. Once upon a time, God made the Israelites live in the wilderness for another 40 years until the older generation died out because they complained too much.
I don’t have a question. I just want to know what ya’ll think on this topic. Probably something I’ve heard before, but I wonder if anybody ever questioned how God dealt with polygamy or questioned the traditional model of marriage itself because of the Old Testament.

I don’t plan on having kids…ever. I never really saw marriage as an opportunity to make a family like most Christian guys I know. I see marriage more as a companionship and desired it for that reason. Since I was a kid, I never fantasized or desired kids of my own for various reasons. Reasons that I still have well into adulthood. I was always scared of pregnancy and the demands of motherhood. It’s unaffordable to have kids nowadays without financially struggling. Now more than I could have predicted, the world has become very unsafe for people who are already alive and I struggle to think of the burden I would place upon someone I’ve brought into a world that’s hostile to them. But whatever my reasons, I’m a Christian who doesn’t want kids. There are other things that gives me way more purpose and a sense of fulfillment than the idea of kids has ever given me, so that may explain why I don’t feel this need for children in my life. If I didn’t have any other talents or investments to look forward to in the future, I probably would’ve been like everyone else in my Christian community, finding their purpose in making the next generation. But whatever the psychology is behind my desires, I’m still a Christian who doesn’t want kids. I rejected genuinely good Christian men because of this. It’s just too big a future commitment for me and I only want to do something if I really want to do it or if that’s God’s plan. So a man hasn’t ever successfully changed my mind, even when I tried to at least imagine my life as a mother. I’ve been told everything, from children are a blessing to it’s selfish/sinful not to want them. It still doesn’t change that I’m a Christian that doesn’t want kids. Coercion and judgment still hasn’t been effective in changing my desires. I even want to go as far as sterilization to erase the possibilities. I know, extreme lol.
The silly thing is I still want marriage. I want a partner who I can do life alongside with. Again, I view marriage as a valuable form of companionship. But what makes marriage significant to most men is the aspect of children, even when they’re not as involved in the process of growing and raising of these kids. Are there any out there that also don’t want kids? What’s your why? Can you see yourself changing your mind?
Also, any Christian women who relate to my experience? Anyone who had kids and know if they could do it all over again, they’d opt out?

I don’t plan on having kids…ever. I never really saw marriage as an opportunity to make a family like most Christian guys I know. I see marriage more as a companionship and desired it for that reason. Since I was a kid, I never fantasized or desired kids of my own for various reasons. Reasons that I still have well into adulthood. I was always scared of pregnancy and the demands of motherhood. It’s unaffordable to have kids nowadays without financially struggling. Now more than I could have predicted, the world has become very unsafe for people who are already alive and I struggle to think of the burden I would place upon someone I’ve brought into a world that’s hostile to them. But whatever my reasons, I’m a Christian who doesn’t want kids. There are other things that gives me way more purpose and a sense of fulfillment than the idea of kids has ever given me, so that may explain why I don’t feel this need for children in my life. If I didn’t have any other talents or investments to look forward to in the future, I probably would’ve been like everyone else in my Christian community, finding their purpose in making the next generation. But whatever the psychology is behind my desires, I’m still a Christian who doesn’t want kids. I rejected genuinely good Christian men because of this. It’s just too big a future commitment for me and I only want to do something if I really want to do it or if that’s God’s plan. So a man hasn’t ever successfully changed my mind, even when I tried to at least imagine my life as a mother. I’ve been told everything, from children are a blessing to it’s selfish/sinful not to want them. It still doesn’t change that I’m a Christian that doesn’t want kids. Coercion and judgment still hasn’t been effective in changing my desires. I even want to go as far as sterilization to erase the possibilities. I know, extreme lol.
The silly thing is I still want marriage. I want a partner who I can do life alongside with. Again, I view marriage as a valuable form of companionship. But what makes marriage significant to most men is the aspect of children, even when they’re not as involved in the process of growing and raising of these kids. Are there any out there that also don’t want kids? What’s your why? Can you see yourself changing your mind?
Also, any Christian women who relate to my experience? Anyone who had kids and know if they could do it all over again, they’d opt out?

I’ve grown up in a close-knit churchy small-town community most of my life. It always seemed like all the kids I grew up with wanted to same thing in life and that was to get married and have kids. Same lol. Most of them went on to get married at very young ages (as soon as they became legal adults) and have kids…while some others just did their own thing, me being one of them. I went to college but I still searched for Christian communities in college and even as an adult now working. But I guess as I got more exposed to different people in these Christian communities I noticed a change in priorities, specifically with my Christian friends. Most of my gals are currently single, and although most of them idealize relationships and marriage, there’s a lot of hesitance around having kids for different reasons. Some of them don’t like the pain of pregnancy or just outright don’t like the responsibility. Of course, not all my friends or the women I know don’t want kids, but the ones I am close friends with deviate from the traditional desire for children and it’s just so different from what I’m used to. I know there’s a bit of a trend in young people, Gen Z, not to want kids but I associated that mindset with the secular world. In Christian communities, it seemed like Christians overall were more traditional about marriage and kids and that seems to be changing. At least among women. But I don’t really see that desires or priorities about marriage or kids are changing among Christian men. If anything, they seem more adamant about having kids than marriage itself lol.
I respect everyone’s decision in terms of what they want to do with their lives. I’m aware God calls us to different things. I am just puzzled a little about the rise in women, or at least Christian women, who want to remain childless... Forever. Despite the struggles or economics of having kids these days, Christians usually remain very traditional about marriage and the nuclear family that results. But that seems to be changing. Has anyone else noticed this or have experience with this? Mind you, some of them still want to get married despite not wanting kids. Are there Christian men who also feel that way? What’s your reason? Please im curious lol

So the Bible in the New Testament teaches to love, pray, and serve your enemies. We are more godly and more loving for doing so. Justice or vengeance is up to the Lord to carry out and we need to trust him to do that as He wills. After all, we’re all sinners deserving of judgement and I can’t really judge or condemn anyone. Ok.
But I just don’t understand the morality of praying for certain enemies. I’m not talking about enemies that personally affect us, like our bullies or exes. I’m talking about praying for people’s grapists or pedos, terrorists or powerful people responsible for millions of people’s deaths/suffering and systematic persecution of entire communities. Praying for those kind of enemies who do those kinds of things and will continue to, even as I speak. Am I not disregarding the lives of the victims they affect? Is my prayer for my enemies to be brought to justice wrong, even if my idea of justice for them is “cruel” or “harsh”? Doesn’t serving our enemies when they ask for it make us passive, keeps those enemies from being held accountable, or enables an enemy to continue hurting others? How can I pray for a soldier committing war crimes against civilians, that he go to heaven, as I pray in the same breath for that civilian to go to heaven even though his/her life was cut short and they may not have believed in Jesus? I just don’t understand the morality of loving our enemies who do objectively abhorrent things to others. It just doesn’t fit my personal moral compass of how I’m supposed to behave towards people who bring about injustice and my feeling of protectiveness for people who suffer injustice.
I know how I’m supposed to love my enemies according to the Bible, but it goes so significantly against my values based on other biblical verses about loving the least of these and valuing/respecting human beings as God’s image bearers. How am I supposed to do that and, at the same time, love/serve people who hate others to the extent of being cruel and perpetuate actions that dehumanizes people. In the Psalms, David prayed against his enemies (Or at least, that’s how I interpreted it). It’s just hard not to hope that people that are toxic to society are judged, rather than hoping they’re redeemed and forgiven. Especially when so many suffer and died because of them. We all have sinful hearts, but it seriously angers the fk out of me how damaging sinful attitudes or worldviews promoted by culture and heresy can easily destroy lives. Families. Children. Regular people like you and me. I’m a Christian who’s supposed to understand how deep God’s love is and to feel that for others, but the New Testament’s way of dealing with enemies… I just don’t get it. I do not care an inkling about certain enemies to be saved because of how horrendously they live and how much better the world would be if there were less people who thought and behaved as they do.

Any Christians out there who get it? This praying for your enemies thing? Like in your heart, not just in a couple of verses. I know the verses. What’s your experience with loving enemies like that? How on earth do you pray for them ethically?

So the Bible in the New Testament teaches to love, pray, and serve your enemies. We are more godly and more loving for doing so. Justice or vengeance is up to the Lord to carry out and we need to trust him to do that as He wills. After all, we’re all sinners deserving of judgement and I can’t really judge or condemn anyone. Ok.
But I just don’t understand the morality of praying for certain enemies. I’m not talking about enemies that personally affect us, like our bullies or exes. I’m talking about praying for people’s grapists or pedos, terrorists or powerful people responsible for millions of people’s deaths/suffering and systematic persecution of entire communities. Praying for those kind of enemies who do those kinds of things and will continue to, even as I speak. Am I not disregarding the lives of the victims they affect? Is my prayer for my enemies to be brought to justice wrong, even if my idea of justice for them is “cruel” or “harsh”? Doesn’t serving our enemies when they ask for it make us passive, keeps those enemies from being held accountable, or enables an enemy to continue hurting others? How can I pray for a soldier committing war crimes against civilians, that he go to heaven, as I pray in the same breath for that civilian to go to heaven even though his/her life was cut short and they may not have believed in Jesus? I just don’t understand the morality of loving our enemies who do objectively abhorrent things to others. It just doesn’t fit my personal moral compass of how I’m supposed to behave towards people who bring about injustice and my feeling of protectiveness for people who suffer injustice.
I know how I’m supposed to love my enemies according to the Bible, but it goes so significantly against my values based on other biblical verses about loving the least of these and valuing/respecting human beings as God’s image bearers. How am I supposed to do that and, at the same time, love/serve people who hate others to the extent of being cruel and perpetuate actions that dehumanizes people. In the Psalms, David prayed against his enemies (Or at least, that’s how I interpreted it). It’s just hard not to hope that people that are toxic to society are judged, rather than hoping they’re redeemed and forgiven. Especially when so many suffer and died because of them. We all have sinful hearts, but it seriously angers the fk out of me how damaging sinful attitudes or worldviews promoted by culture and heresy can easily destroy lives. Families. Children. Regular people like you and me. I’m a Christian who’s supposed to understand how deep God’s love is and to feel that for others, but the New Testament’s way of dealing with enemies… I just don’t get it. I do not care an inkling about certain enemies to be saved because of how horrendously they live and how much better the world would be if there were less people who thought and behaved as they do.

Any Christians out there who get it? This praying for your enemies thing? Like in your heart, not just in a couple of verses. I know the verses. What’s your experience with loving enemies like that? How on earth do you pray for them ethically?