u/Ok_Technology_5988

My husband is in the AF and graduating from tech in seven weeks and we’re discussing our moving options. We’re staying domestic and it’s a 21 hr drive. We have two year old and eight month old. Flying means: we get there faster BUT we don’t have our car and anyone with kids knows how difficult it is fitting car seats and such in. We also don’t know how quickly our stuff will be sent so is flying worth not having our car or any of our kids stuff? Driving is obviously driving, but we also won’t have seen each other for seven months and I know my husband and I would have plenty to talk about and we would drive when the boys sleep. We also would be able to pack some of their favorite toys, our baby’s clothes since he’s still growing at a rapid rate. And anything else we’d want when we move in right away. I think it’s called a partial move? I’m not exactly sure but would love advice since this will be our first move.

For context (not excuses) my husband has been deployed for 4 1/2 months and my son was very very close with him. We also have an almost 7 month old. Both of which might be contributing to my toddler’s behavior but I don’t let it guilt me into allowing his behavior but I feel like I’ve tried every parenting trick, disciplining and he just tests his limit everyday. If he hits, instant timeout, if he hits with a toy it’s instantly taken away and a timeout. Even after his timeout he’ll apologize, give a hug or kiss then go get another toy and throw/hit with it. He pretty much has zero toys since every morning that’s his first task. When he runs out of things to throw or hit, he’ll just use his fist or feet. All of which get timeouts instantly too. I’ve tried ignoring him to see if his outbursts are because he wants attention but he just does it for his own amusement, I give him attention when he does something nice and he instantly will ruin it on purpose. On walks he’s no longer allowed to bring a toy, snack or allowed to get out because you guessed it, he’ll throw his toys, snacks and the second his feet touch outside he’s running away as fast as he can. I used to walk the boys to the playground but every time we’d go he would just size up the other kids but yelling, glaring and getting in their face.. even if the kid is twice his size. I apologize to the parents and we instantly leave, now on our walks I don’t even bother trying to let him play. I hate that I’m the mom with that kid because I genuinely do parent him and want him to be nice to other kids.

I’ve put my 7 month old in daycare at our community gym so I can swim with my toddler since he loves swimming but the second we leave his brother he’s screaming for him and spends the whole time on the ground wanting to go find him. So I bring both of them to the pool and what do you know, he hates it. He hates everything. He’ll offer me a book he wants me to read to him and not even one line into the book he’s screaming and throwing it. Timeout and no more books too. Every time I try to see if he’s ready to be nice he sees the freedom and takes as much advantage as he can with it. In the grocery store he’s trying to pull everything off onto the floor, in the car he’s screaming and kicking. Every thing is a fight with him. I show him pictures of his dad when he asks about him and then he’s hitting and trying to grab my phone to throw it. He even gets mad if I turn on the tv or play music. In the bath he just screams then screams when I take him out. In his high chair he throws all his food off then is pissed I don’t refill his plate. But then he’s pissed because he’s hungry and needs to wait. I hate that I’ve become so strict but I can’t let my son be the one at the playground all the parents are judging and I refuse for my son to be the bully at school when he’s older. When I try to be sweet and hug or cuddle him he just sees that I’m open to being spit in the face or headbutted.

I just wanna pull my hair out. I would say the only time he’s nice is when he’s sleeping but even then he’s kicking and fighting himself in his sleep. I’ve spoken to his pediatrician and he has no signs of special needs and that it’s unfortunately just a phase and she assumes that he’s confused with loving his brother but is jealous, and misses his dad and needs that boy bonding. I have four younger brothers and I remember them all going through a phase like this but god, my son genuinely is a horrible kid. I don’t raise my voice or loose my cool with him but I also don’t gentle parent him because he’s not a gentle kid. At this point I’m ready to sage the kid because going in public with him is a humiliation ritual and being at home with him is like willingly being in close quarters with a wild animal that wants to cause as much harm as possible

My in-laws always seem to be sick. They’re in their late 40s/early 50s and every other week I swear they’re horribly sick yet ask to visit. Each time i say no yet they are confused why. Maybe because you just told me you’ve been throwing up nonstop for days??? Maybe because you said you’ve been bedridden for weeks??? I have a 6 month old and a 24 month old AND my husband is deployed and I don’t have any outside help. Why tf would I allow them over so we can get sick so I can do all of this while caring for two sick kids and myself? Screw that. And screw my stupid in-laws. Oh and when I tell them no they say it’s because they feel guilty about not visiting, oh please you guys don’t even visit when you’re feeling good, we’re moving again once my husband is back which is less than six months yet they prefer to golf everyday than visit us. No you can’t come over sick, or the next time you’re sick.

Tomorrow my oldest will be two and I’ll officially graduate the 2u2 party. However, this stage has gone out with the bang because I’m so exhausted.

- my husband has been deployed for 3 months and at least 4 more to go

- no support, closest I have is my MIL who is more helpful by not talking to me. She texts me multiple times a day everyday asking the same questions and needs so much validation I feel like a teen with a clingy boyfriend that won’t take a hint.

-I’m sick

-baby is almost 6m and has two teeth coming in

- toddler is getting his final four molars coming in

-toddler dropped naps

- my dumbass cat keeps throwing up because he eats too fast and I stepped in it

- my other cat tried swallowing a deflated balloon while I was decorating and bout nearly died

- every night for the last three days we’ve been getting severe thunderstorms and my kids sleep through it (THANK GOODNESS) but I cannot

-my SIL (married to my brother) texted asking what it’s like being a SAHM since they’re thinking about trying soon. I was honest, I didn’t talk it down but didn’t sugar coat it either. She replied with “It doesn’t seem so bad besides the diaper changes and chores. But it seems nice to be able to stay home and sort of do what you’d like lol” like yeah.. sure

- while cleaning up cat throw up, toddler comes to me with his poop on his hands (I had just changed his diaper and gave him a bath)

Productive things I got done:

- Decorated

- cleaned entire home

- cooked/prepped

- took out trash x2

- patched couch and added protectors

- showered

- did not cry, did not loose my shit

- haven’t gotten a headache today

- ate icecream and pineapple pie

Firstly, I hope this doesn’t come off as insensitive or offensive. I’m just curious about people’s experiences and perspectives rather than just googling the definition (although I have also done my own research and talked to my MIL personally).

Second, my mom was bipolar and was hypochondriac so every few months she developed a new disease with new symptoms that she was convinced she had yet every time the doctors tested her it was always false. She was always in and out of the doctors, and funny enough, one thing she refuses is therapy. She was verbally abusive and actually told me my whole life I had severe allergies my siblings and I were all on very strict diets. It wasn’t until I was 23 when my husband risked asking me questions about my health. It got me thinking and eventually I worked up to eat chips and I didn’t die! Turns out I don’t have any allergies but did develop a nice eating disorder and a lot of mistrust around mental or health disorders. That’s something I’m going to therapy for.

That being said, (and this sounds so horrible and mean) but I have a hard time understanding my MIL. She says she only has a few “others” as she calls them, and when they’re in control she blacks out. Some of her others are young and can’t drive or “not responsible.” She says that’s why she’s forgetful because I’m talking to one of the others. And because of her DID, it makes it impossible for her to remember things or do things. She texts both my husband and i daily asking the same things. We’re both busy and if we don’t respond quickly she will text my husband asking if he or I are mad at her. Even though it might have been a few hours and on a weekday during work hours. She expects calls weekly and when we make plans, she gets very anxious and asks us a lot of questions from what she should wear, to when we will pick her up multiple times. We’ve tried setting boundaries and kindly letting her know we’re busy and can’t text or call when she wants us to, and we limit how many times we’ll keep answering her questions, including what the weather will be because she can do that herself. However, each time we’ve tried to kindly let her know, she says that because of her DID she forgets and can’t change her ways. Are we being unreasonable? I’m again sorry if that might be an offensive question with an obvious answer because we feel like it’s pretty much no use. Her husband says to just respond to her and do what she wants which I think in a way doesnt actually validate our opinions, we simply can’t respond to her every message, everyday. We feel like our world must revolve around her.

My husband says he’s never noticed a difference but if she says she’s unreliable, she shouldn’t watch our kids (ages 2 and under 1). However, she also asks all the time to watch our kids and gets really upset when we say they don’t need watching—which is true, we enjoy being with our kids and we always end date night early to see them so they come with us anyway lol. But anyway, she’s always asking but also tells and gives us good reasons why she can’t drive or hold a job. Are these the others switching? She says she’ll always tell us when she switches but from my understanding, they’re their own people and that’s doesn’t mean they have to from what she says right?

I never want to offend her or sound like I’m judging her for her health. I’m always inviting her over to see them too. Again, I’m trying to remember my own upbringing and how hard it was to believe my mom on any of her health so I try to be open minded but it’s hard when you can’t talk to the person to understand and there’s no way in them understanding you and takes offense if it’s not their way. I do respect her health and don’t want to tell her or expect something from her that I don’t have and will never fully understand since I don’t personally experience what she does, but I’m hoping anyone can help explain or give me advice. Thank you <3

My son will be two at the end of the month and for the past 9 months his love for dinosaurs has only grown. It was gradual so my husband and I can’t remember how it started but one day he discovered them and fast forward to now. Dinosaur little people, dinosaur figurines, only dinosaur movies, only dinosaur clothes. He sleeps with his dinosaur stuffed animal and his dinosaur blanket. Only books he reads are dinosaur books, he stomps around the home and rawrs. Everything and anything is dinosaurs. I dressed his baby brother in a dinosaur outfit and he thought it was so cool since he’s always trying to get his brother involved in playing dinosaurs with him. Anyway, can anyone guess what his bday theme is gonna be? 😅 and if anyone who also has a dinosaur-obsessed kid let me know any tips, toys or activities

Might be a stupid question but I’m curious about the timeline for tech for ATC. It says 72 days (4.5-5 months) (I’m assuming that’s business days only, not including holidays) but from what I’ve been told, I can be pushed back if the class is too full since guard and officers have first priority. I plan to spend that time studying and practicing anyway, but having an idea, even if it’s a month would be nice to kinda get an idea how long it could go on for. Some other guys were saying they had to wait around for a month between classes even start going again simply because the others were full/hadn’t started