Am i too late in life?
(English isn’t my first language, so I hope I’ve written something clear.)
I’m 19 years old. In my country, there’s a national exam after high school, and your score on that exam determines whether you can go to college. I’ve been preparing for this exam for the past three years to get into medical school. I’ve taken it twice and failed. I’ll be taking it for the third time in 32 days, and I’m not in a good place—I’m exhausted both physically (I’m 6’1” and weigh 275 pounds) and mentally. I’ve always wanted to be a great person—to make a lot of money, start a business, do good work, be successful, and become the best version of myself to make my family proud. But I haven’t even managed to pass this university exam, and I’ve started to doubt my own intelligence and potential. I’d rather die than be an average person. During this time, I didn’t have a girlfriend, I couldn’t work out, and I couldn’t socialize. I’m not an antisocial person, but because my mind wasn’t at ease, I couldn’t socialize effectively. Right now, my mental health is very poor; I can’t pull myself together. I need to study and get my head together—there are 32 days left until my exam. If I can’t succeed this year either, I don’t know what I’ll do. Do you think I’ve wasted these years of my life? I’ll be 20 in October—my peers are either in college or already in the workforce. Do you think I’m too late in life?