u/Oldmanwaffle

I’m trying to expand upon these tracks that I’m creating by layering them extensively with a myriad of samples taken from a number of different records. I mostly use an sp404 and koala sampler but these limitations have bred creativity for me. I always revert back to DJ Shadow’s words on the documentary, “Scratch” where he says that digging through the basement of records is humbling for him because he will eventually end up down in that basement one day as well. It’s humbling to pay homage to these artists that may or may not still be making music.

This is for an upcoming record! Hope it’s not super mid.

Hello to everyone, and I hope you’re all doing well!
I wanted to create this post sort of as a way to vent & also ask for advice about my situation. I’ll try to make this as brief as possible, I promise!

So, back in 2023 I attended a condensed/accelerated online program for substance abuse counseling and finished in 2025. I was able to secure an internship and finished strongly. I was on the right track to moving forward into employment and then the exam. Well, what I’ve left out is that around the time I first began attending these online classes, my own panic disorder started to flair up, and (as I came to recognize later) as I continued to isolate myself further, my brain began to mold itself back to my own teenage years, when a traumatic experience happened that left me with severe panic attacks & agoraphobia. So I started struggling with panic attacks throughout the day all the way through school and the internship. Once the internship finished in February of 2025, before I started work, I needed to get my shit together. So since that time, I’ve gone to Intensive Outpatient Group Therapy, EMDR therapy, talk therapy, multiple psychiatrists, etc. It’s taken a very long time of sorting through my own trauma to get myself to a much more stable place than I was, and throughout this time I’ve maintained my own sobriety of 8 years which comes first above everything else.

Where does that leave me now? Well, I’m at the point where I’m ready to start applying for jobs, but I just don’t feel ready in the sense that I feel unprepared. I’ve been trying study material every single day and prep my brain for working with clients, but I have this really bad imposter syndrome creeping up on me, and I also feel like I’ve let so much time go past that there’s no way I’ll finish my hours and take my test in the next 3-4 years, right? I’m going to keep studying everyday and fixing my résumé, before starting to apply to positions in my city. I thought about trying to get a part time job first just to get myself to socialize again first, but no, everyday that I spend working outside of the field, I’ll feel is wasted potential that could’ve gone towards helping others. My life has almost ended on multiple occasions and I want to give someone that spark that I got when I was down & out, scared & alone, after just getting sober. I want to guide others through the stages of change at their own pace, and try to guide them through the beginning of their journeys.

What would you do in my situation? Would you feel like you’re too unprepared to start working in the field right away? I’m extremely grateful and privileged to have enough savings to keep me afloat during this period, which will allow me to have some option, but I also know that I need to return to the workforce. It’s been years. I’m nervous and I’m not confident in myself, which is why I’m curious what you would do in my position?

Thank you so much and I send my positive energy to you are yours.

I usually produce underground hip hop beats from vinyl records but recently I’ve been diving deeper into trip hop production, and I’m going to make an entire sample based record in the realm of Endtroducing. I’m inspired.

Hey everyone, I hope you are well.
For starters—

I’m a 32 year old male, living in the Bay Area of Northern California, with my 4 year old male Bombay cat Jasper. He has been neutered & he is currently under my local vet’s care.

The main issue: 6 months ago I had to take Jasper to the emergency vet hospital because he was having liquid diarrhea (he couldn’t make it to the box) and he was drooling heavily which signaled to me that he ate a toxin somehow, which is baffling to me because I had already cleared all toxins from the home. After all the testing, the emergency vet genuinely said they found nothing, that he’s fully stable, but they gave him anti nausea meds, flora pectin, probiotics, etc. and $2,000 later, sent us on our way.

Fast forward a few months and he had gotten much better thankfully, but one day the neighbors were doing work out back and being that he’s a very scared cat, he went to go hide. I went to find him so that I could comfort him and I noticed that he felt like he was shivering intermittently. It was like a slight tremor/spasm. I chalked it up to his temperament and a friend told me that it’s probably that he was scared.

Well, I noticed it on another occasion when he was sleeping, but then about 2 months ago Jasper had loose stool again and I noticed that he was having the spasm symptoms while sitting up wide awake and lying down as well. It didn’t seem to be hurting him but it looked really uncomfortable so I chose to take him in to my other urgent care vet. They watched the videos I had taken of jasper and they gave him gabapentin and told me to keep an eye on him.

Lo and behold, the gabapentin worked and it stopped most of the spasm symptoms, and so I was able to bring him into my primary care vet in order for him to be prescribed Gabapentin for me to order. He’s been doing a great job on it, but I’ve noticed that in his sleep he will still have these jerk spasms throughout his body and it looks so scary.

So I have a follow up appointment August 4th in order to re evaluate the plan for jasper and refill his gabapentin hopefully. However, right now I’m in a volatile situation monetarily, and I can’t spend money on more testing. If my primary care provider wants to do his labs before he’s willing to prescribe more Gabapentin, then I will make my budget work around it. I’d rather not eat, than allow my cat to suffer. It’s my fault anyways. Whatever he ate could’ve come off my shoe. I recently had a roommate move out, and it was right during that period of time when he started having those major symptoms before I took him to the emergency vet the first time.

I’ve been blaming myself for the issues that he’s currently facing and I need to just take responsibility and do the best that I can for him even in the face of this situation. I love him beyond words as you all do about your own feline friends, but the fact that I can’t spend another few hundred-thousand dollars to afford adequate testing makes me feel like I don’t deserve to own him. I’m trying to work through my own grief currently but the focus is fully on him and what I can do to help mitigate his symptoms. Thankfully the gabapentin is working but when he sleeps it does happen occasionally and it’s upsetting to witness. I don’t really know what to do outside of listen to my vet and save my money for further testing in the near future.

Thank you for reading and I appreciate you all. I know most of this is just yapping. Remember to hug your pets and family.

TL;DR: Cat had to get taken to ER Vet 5 months ago due to drooling & uncontrollable liquid stool, they found nothing, fast forward some months and he’s visibly having these focal seizures while awake, I brought him to the ER again then back to my vet and was given gabapentin that’s been working wonders, but when he sleeps, he still has spasms occasionally. I don’t have enough money for further testing at the moment due to all the money I just spent on the previous 2 ER visits. So this medication has saved his life.