u/Open_Junket_8096

Little back story. My father had a stroke in 2015 that paralyzed his left side.

In 2019 my father was living with me. He was somewhat ambulatory, pretty independent, took almost no medications, and was super helpful around the house.

In 2022 I got a job offer in another state. He said he had friends in the state we were in and asked if he could go to assisted living. I said sure and sent him.

Ff to now. He called me and said that he was having issues making payments for the assisted living facility and asked if he could move in. I said yes of course. I was not prepared for how far his health had declined.

He can’t walk, can barely stand, can barely transfer, is urinary incontinent, can’t make his own food, is wheelchair dependent (a broken wheelchair that can barely roll), and is on about 20 different medications.

I’m so overwhelmed. I’m having issues getting all of his insurance and stuff switched over. I don’t understand Medicare. I’m having to pay out of pocket for his dr visits and his medication. My house is small. His wheelchair barely has room to turn around. I’m using auto ramps to get him in and out of the house because he can’t walk up and down the steps.

I don’t mind him staying but idk how to bathe him, everytime I try to get him to stand he is afraid he’s gonna fall and sits back down so I’m struggling to get him fully cleaned, everything smells like pee all the time. I can’t get the smell out of his clothes or sheets.

I don’t mind him staying but I am extremely overwhelmed and starting to have a mental breakdown.

Thanks for listening everyone, I’ve got to go wash the same sheet for the 5th time now.

Little back story. My father got hurt in 2015 and it paralyzed his left side.

In 2019 my father was living with me. He was somewhat ambulatory, pretty independent, took almost no medications, and was super helpful around the house.

In 2022 I got a job offer in another state. He said he had friends in the state we were in and asked if he could go to assisted living. I said sure and sent him.

Last week He called me and said that he was having issues with the assisted living facility and asked if he could move in. I said yes of course. I was not prepared for how far his health had declined.

He can’t walk, can barely stand, can barely transfer, is urinary incontinent, can’t make his own food, is wheelchair dependent (a broken wheelchair that can barely roll), and is on about 20 different medications.

I’m so overwhelmed. I’m having issues getting all of his insurance and stuff switched over. I don’t understand Medicare. I’m having to pay out of pocket for his dr visits and his medication. My house is small. His wheelchair barely has room to turn around. I’m using automobile ramps to get him in and out of the house because he can’t walk up and down the steps.

I don’t mind him staying but idk how to bathe him, everytime I try to get him to stand he is afraid he’s gonna fall and sits back down so I’m struggling to get him fully cleaned, everything smells like urine all the time. I can’t get the smell out of his clothes or sheets.

Thanks for listening everyone, I’ve got to go wash the same sheet for the 5th time now.

I am feeling incredibly drowning right now and just need a safe place to vent, and hopefully get some guidance from people who have been here.

The Backstory
My father had a stroke in 2015 that left him paralyzed on his left side. By 2019, he was living with me, fairly independent, and required very little medication. In 2022, I relocated out of state for a new job. He chose to move into an assisted living facility nearby instead of moving with me, as he had a strong friend network there.

The Current Situation
Recently, he called to let me know he could no longer afford the facility fees and asked to move in with me. I immediately welcomed him into my home, but I was completely unprepared for the severe decline in his physical health since we last lived together.
He is now entirely wheelchair-dependent (using a broken chair that barely rolls), unable to walk or stand, can barely manage transfers, and is dealing with urinary incontinence. He is also currently prescribed around 20 different medications and cannot prepare his own meals.

Where I am struggling the most:
Logistics & Layout: My home is small. His wheelchair barely has turning room, and I am relying on portable ramps just to navigate the front steps.

Hygiene & Transfers: Every time I try to assist him with standing to bathe, he freezes out of fear of falling and sits right back down. Because of this, keeping him properly cleaned is a massive struggle, and the odor of urine in his clothing and linens has become impossible to wash out.

The Insurance Maze: Navigating the transition to a new state is overwhelming. I don't fully understand how his Medicare coverage works here, and I am currently forced to pay out-of-pocket for his immediate medication needs and doctor visits while trying to get everything switched over.

I care about him and absolutely want him here, but the sheer physical and administrative weight of this transition has me completely hitting a wall.

Thank you for listening

My spouse and I are both prior military. I’ve been out awhile and have 100% P&T.

My spouse got out of the military last month. We didn’t sign him up for champva right away when he discharged because we knew he would be able to see the Va also.

He got hurt over the weekend and we needed to take him to urgent care today. We called the Va and they said his appointment wouldn’t be covered because his first appointment with the Va isn’t until Friday.

I signed him up for champva while waiting at the dr office. We didn’t realize you had to apply and wait for a decision so we just paid the whole doctor bill and pharmacy bill out of pocket.

If he gets approved for champva with they pay us back for the appointment?

I have a 3 year old female cat that I got from a shelter 2 years ago and a 2 year old boy cat that I got from a shelter when he was 5 weeks old. They absolutely loved each other at first. The girl cat treated him like her baby.

Ff to about 5 months ago and he absolutely terrorizes her. He’s always chasing her and won’t leave her alone. She’s constantly hissing, growling, hiding, scratching etc.

They have their own bedroom with multiple cat trees, wall climbing things, running wheels, a tv etc. they also have a 10x8 catio. 4 litter boxes throughout the house. 2 bedrooms and the mic room also have toys, cat trees etc.
i also have those pheromone things all over the house and a calming collar for the boy.

I try to separate them when they’re fighting badly but when I do they scream until they’re let out of the room they’re in.

She definitely seems stressed and I feel like I should rehome one of them. How do I choose which one should go? I’ve thought about maybe getting an another boy cat to see if the boys will play together but I’m worried it might make it worse.