u/OriEri

TLDR summary: I talk about my experience of being greyromantic before I knew and now. I talk about ppl I have dated and what I wanted from that.

I always wanted a full-time partner that treated me kindly. One I felt like was on my team and I on hers. I think the thing I’ve always loved doing most with the people I’ve dated is *making* something together form the small like Thanksgiving dinner for guests to the large. I saw a partner as someone who I would make a home with, and when I was younger, make a family with. Having an intimate companion in doing or making something I wanted to have in my life, seemed the best of life experiences.

I *think* I’ve been in love a few times. They’ve also ended with them saying “I feel like we’re just really good friends.” Now I suspect my aromantic spectrum-dom means there’s something I don’t do or don't experience in the relationship that would help them feel loved/in love. This is why I wonder if I ever have been in love. Maybe I only felt something love-adjacent.

There is one I believed I loved who continued to see me as different than just good friends. They are poly, so I can't help but wonder if they got that "being held", or whatever it is I did not provide the others, from their primary relationship, so the absence of it from me was not missed.

Finding a partner who felt held by me is a puzzle I wanted to crack, because whatever I did feel, it was very nice! I want more of it and I want the feeling of being part of an emotionally intimate team.

Now that I understand some about aromanticism, I realize it may be beyond my ability. I will probably never be an astronaut (which I also long wanted). Why is this any different? In spite of all the wonder and joy I can have in my life experience, this one has me feeling sadder than any other closed door. Why is that?

Since coming back to the sub a week or so ago, I’m noticing a lot of the riddles have these anagrams for entering the solution.

A lot of these can be solved without even considering the clue

What are your opinions on how much to you like the anagrams?

This sub appears more for handyman business than consumer, but maybe pro users can influence how Angi operates.

My mom needed a plumber. I decided to use Angi. I entered on the website. Within minutes I got a call and set a time up. Great!...

while on that call and over the following 15 minutes I received 11 calls from 6 numbers including repeat calls from several, even from the place I had already booked with! This was disruptive and irritating af.

the promptness was nice, but the inundation means I won't be using Angi again except as a last resort when I can't find something some other way.

Called their 800 number to request they close the darn request. I have received two more calls since then.

[Edit: I wish I had experienced this horrible the business model 3 years ago when I could have made a fortune watching the stock tunnel its way to China.]

​

I am hosting a meetup and provided the following prompt to ChatGPT

* a group of 10-20 people sitting in a park on blankets sharing snacks
* trees, grass etc.
* 2/3rds of the people should have aromantic or asexual flag colors to their clothing, not actual striped flags, just the colors from the flags and the rest can be wearing regular clothing
* include an aromatic flag and an asexual flag on their own poles.
* photo or drawn look is fine. Whichever is computationally less expensive. if they are same, please make it photo-realistic

The aromantic flag is missing a stripe and the one green stripe present is in between the two typical colors . It seems to like pale green for Aro clothing colors even though typically folks wear a darker green in my experience. . Nearly all the female appearing figures are wearing form fitting spaghetti tops and most are slenderish. Most of the males are on the lean side too. Everyone appears to be young...late teens to mid 20s.

I wonder how much of the human figure appearance bias is from training data & how much is due to human image classification or reinforcement learning from human feedback on genAI images? Or is there any bias at all? Seems to be.....

https://preview.redd.it/l56zdyb1dv8h1.png?width=1536&format=png&auto=webp&s=9e5ed95dd59d7895300ca29e9650d9a21c5fd233

oh wait. What is the word allos use for this?\ Unemployed?

Yeah that’s it!

Venmo worked great for me for years. Sometime in the last year something broke. Maybe it is fraud implementation sweeping up regular folks with the fraudsters.

In the last month I spent literally ~8 hours trying to get my Venmo functioning . It is time for me to churn and move to another tool. . So what alternatives do you all know of?

If you want to learn why, read my rant below.

Context:

I manage two Venmo accounts.

One is my personal account

One is attached to a trust account for my mom. She is 90 moderate dementia and can't manage her finances. It's attached to bank accounts my stepdad left for her care after he died. The trust Venmo account its the one I had not had to use for a while and mysteriously stopped working.

I'm struggling to get both Venmo accounts functional at the same time, which is a problem for me, since I used my personal funds to cover some of my mom's expenses while the trust Venmo account was not working and I was trying to get it operating.

<Rant begins>
complaints in bold:
No email notice came to the email address in that trust account about it being disabled. No warning popped up in the app. Even worse a misleading warning did, something like "please try again later." So I would. A day later. A few days later. a week later. I tried removing and re-adding different accounts that Venmo had never seen in case the bank accounts were flagged etc. Each time waiting for days to test and getting the same useless message Why didn't Venmo inform me the account had been disabled using the account email ?

I had to consult co-pilot to tease out from the symptoms that the account had been frozen. Why doesn't Venmo put that warning in the app? Working with co-pilot and retrying recommendations I had already been through (so a lot more time), it suggested I try an ID verification. I went through those steps after finding that screen buried somewhere in Venmo's labyrinthine interface and several days later (between 3 and 7, I did not try every day after I did ID verification) was reenabled. Hooray. I still could not send money from the Trust Venmo to my Venmo because In the meantime my personal Venmo had been disabled!

During the lengthy process working the Trust Venmo account including trying different phone numbers in case one has been flagged for some reason, I had attached my personal phone number to the trust account. So that apparently nixed being able to send funds to my personal account to reimburse stuff I covered when the trust account was offline. (da fuq?? Why is a valid phone number needed to receive funds in a previously valid account ID? I get it if the phone number was used for the ID, but I was using the Venmo alias!)

During this work, I frequently found myself stuck where the iOS version of the app needs a text input and will pop up a keyboard with the submit button in the app is hidden by the keyboard. More time on co-pilot, and apparently this is a known issue for a while...so I update the app. Still does not work . Why can't Venmo fix the problem with the iOS keyboard hiding submit buttons? Just put a "back" button at the top of every screen! I frequently ended up having to quit the app and restart and re-navigate through Venmo's fussy interface to where I was

I restored the original trust account phone number to the trust account, but when I tried to restore  my personal phone number to my personal Venmo account, Venmo won't accept the phone number!

Venmo website encourages me to the use the chat assistant. Can't find it. I learn from co-pilot it is only available in the mobile interface. Why the f* is chat assistant not available on the web where it is easier to actually type?

I tried the chat help and was told by a human to use the phone number for a 2 account problem, the number the website discouraged me from using. So I use it, work through the tree and am terminated with a recommendation to use the chat assistant. So I go back to chat. They give me a series of three menu digit presses to get to a real person. But the series is invalid...the last digits are 4 and 9 and after pressing the second digit the options end at 2. I get an invalid selection error trying the 4 or the 9 . I mess around with the series truncating the first key press suggested, or skipping the second... Skipping the second shows the most promise, but there is no 9 on that menu and 4 is to report an improper transaction, which is not my problem.

I don't know exactly how many hours I have spent doing this in total and the problem living rent free in my brain every time I forked out my own money to cover things for my mom, but I have had it with Venmo.

<Rant ends>

So what is your favorite non-Venmo, bank account to appto other people on the app money transfer tool? I am so done with Venmo. Only momentum of a couple of regular payments I used to make on it keep me on it at all. Past tense, because now I cannot make those payments anymore.