“You’re a character in a story that’s trying to be funny by referencing memes, but luckily, it’s only a two-sentence one so it’ll be over soon, unless the sentences are run-ons…”
Normally, I would have been ecstatic, but I had just gotten off the phone with my recently deceased grandmother”s lawyer informing me she left everything to me.
When I picked him up, it dawned on me that I was now a Fork Lyft for Cliff.
"So much for a quick and painless death," I thought bitterly to myself just as I was blinded by the flash of the bomb.
"You're not the sacrifice," replied the cultist, gently caressing her swollen belly.
With the death of this ancient civilization, the humans on Earth, a trillion light years away, unknowingly became truly alone in the universe.
When you want something done YOUR way, that's when you "gotta do it yourself".
With (a) drawl, y'all.
Signing the divorce papers, we never would have guessed our love for each other would die long before either of us did.
"I was only following orders."
I couldn't help but smile when I replied, "Nope, unintended."
So, why does my heart ache now that he's gone?
"It is until you find out the 'J' stands for 'John' and that it's part of my first name."
I woke up in the garage, freezing, because nobody had carried me inside or even bothered to wake me.
He looked so small laying in his casket.
Unfortunately, I was so high, I could only reply with a sheepish grin.
In the other, two tickets, purchased too late, fell lifelessly to the floor.
The gift of life the stranger gave to this town made more than one of us believe he was an angel.
That's pretty much how I describe my relationship with the food delivery guy.
I wished that I could see him again, if only to apologize for being so wrong in pushing him away.