u/OwlFirm1309

Does anyone else think their cheater’s workplace or work environment was an influence? I understand that cheating is 1000% their choice, and I’m not taking away their responsibility for it. But sometimes I wonder if things would have been different if his employer didn’t encourage so many out-of-office activities, nights out, and frequent travel with younger, attractive coworkers.

It sometimes feels like the work environment creates endless opportunities and makes maintaining appropriate boundaries much harder than it needs to be.

Okay, come for me if you disagree, but please be kind. I’m hurting, and I’m genuinely trying to understand and process all of this.

My narc makes rude comments about how this person at his job is so clearly clueless and has absolutely no social awareness.

The whole time, I’m thinking, you’re worse. He lies and cheats, and his coworkers know he’s married—so there’s that. But what really gets me is how obvious he thinks his lies aren’t.

I double-check things, catch him lying, and he still acts like I’m too stupid to know he’s lying. Then there’s the pattern of starting huge blowups with me right before he travels for work, only to go out drinking at the bar with his AP.

Does he really think nobody notices? People are watching. People talk. And while he’s criticizing someone else for having no social awareness, I can’t help but wonder how many people are looking at him and thinking the exact same thing.

Anyone else?

Is there any link between Narcissism and bipolar?

fist of all I never new until 3 years ago what a narcissist was. I’ve learned the heard way. My question is this I believe both my parents were narcissistic or mentally sick. But I left that at 13 found my way until I married at 28 come to find out I married some 3x worse then my parents., what is wrong with me to keep doing this

He provoked me for days and started a fight right before traveling. It’s a pattern that happens all the time, so he doesn’t have to feel guilty about what he does when he’s gone. But you know what? I walked away. I chose my peace. It really is all about the peace.

Ps: jetting tub helped

Past along your strength please!

Does your narc expect for you to be sweet and give them affection all while they’re lying to you and hiding stuff from you?

The cycle is getting shorter and shorter. The time between the love bombing, using the burner phone, and being mean keeps shrinking.

Every lie leaves an invisible scar, slowly fading the love that was once given so sincerely.

A wife may forgive once or twice, but when lies become a habit, it isn't only her smile that disappears. Little b little, she loses the hope of feeling loved, valued, and safe in the marriage she once cherished.

The saddest part is that a

marriage rarely falls apart because of one painful truth—it slowly crumble under the weight of countless lies.

Once honesty is gone, even love struggles to find its way back home

Gray rocking is incredibly difficult when they insult me with jabs. Any tips?

Find his burner and let the world know who he is!!!!

One time I asked if he was interested in therapy. His answer was:

“No, because the things you think are wrong with me, I don’t think are wrong.”

First, I’ll say this: therapy isn’t about proving someone else is wrong. It’s a personal choice, and it only works if the person genuinely wants to change.

What stood out to me was the belief that the things that hurt me weren’t considered wrong. It made me think: if someone believes these behaviors are acceptable for themselves, would they also believe they’re acceptable if their spouse did the exact same things?

Here’s the list:

1. Keep a burner phone.
2. Lie about things you do behind your spouse’s back.
3. Hide activities from your spouse.
4. Keep social media accounts your spouse doesn’t know about.
5. Have secret relationships or friendships with men or women that you intentionally hide from your spouse.

So here’s my question: if someone does all of these things, would you believe them when they say they love you? I don’t think many people would.

Edit: I say all this because they come back and except you to love them after they do all this to you. Are they all this blind?

For many of us, watching our facial expressions is so important. If I have the wrong expression, it can send the whole day sideways very quickly.

This weekend, though, I must have been wearing my sadness on my face because he noticed it. Of course, I played it off and convinced him I was fine.

I’ll share just one reason today: he keeps a burner phone.

Who wouldn’t be sad?

Yes I am very Sad!

I’m not seeing a therapist right now, so I use Reddit to vent.

The heartbreak of the double lives they lead is hard to put into words. They can look you in the eyes, tell you they love you, and lie to your face at the very same time. For someone who isn’t narcissistic, that kind of betrayal is gut-wrenching.

That’s all. I just needed to get it out. Every time I walk by and see an app quickly shut down, it rocks me to my core. It brings all of that pain rushing back.

I would love to hear your stories about how you disengaged from your narcissistic partner and got your life back.

I fully expect my husband will continue using a burner phone and hidden social media accounts. I’m taking medication to help me cope with the anxiety that comes with all of that, but what I really want to know is this: How did you reclaim your life?

How did you stop focusing on what they were doing? How did you meet new people, find new hobbies, and create a life that was your own again?

I want to learn how to mentally put what he’s doing into a separate folder, close it, and start building an entirely new life for myself instead.

Any advice, personal stories, or ideas would be greatly appreciated.

I’m not going to bash him today, even though he lied to me again yesterday. I’m choosing not to ask about it because I already know the answer—I’ll just be lied to again.

But my question is this: Did you start out simply wanting someone to love and to build a life with? I feel like my entire adult life, all I wanted was a family and someone to love who would love me back. It feels so unfair that so many of us ended up with the exact opposite.

I know there were signs, but I didn’t know what I was looking at. I believed love, honesty, and commitment would be enough. I never imagined I would spend years questioning my own reality instead of simply feeling safe and loved.

Does anyone else ever grieve the life they thought they were building? Not just the relationship itself, but the dream of what it was supposed to be?

What is it that makes a narcissist live a secret life behind the backs of the people they claim to love? Where does the need come from to lie, keep secrets about who they talk to, where they go, and hide social media accounts? Are they really capable of continuing this kind of betrayal without remorse? Sometimes it feels so cruel that it seems almost evil. ( it is evil )

what do you think?

The fact is that both CANNOT coexist in a relationship!!!

I don’t want to make this too long, but I’m struggling more than usual to explain what I’m experiencing. I have very intense panic attacks and, according to my husband, I cry in my sleep and talk about women i think he is seeing. My therapist believes these symptoms are the result of years of lying, betrayal, and emotional trauma. I don’t think my husband understands what just one lie can mean or the trauma from betrayal that shows up in my sleep.

I’m probably older than many people here, and I didn’t learn about narcissistic behaviors until I started therapy because I thought something was wrong with me. By the time I began to understand what had been happening, I had already lived through many years of it.

The reason I’m asking for help is that my husband is frustrated that the changes he has made have not led to more changes in my trauma responses. I don’t want to stay stuck, and I truly want to heal, but my panic attacks and emotional reactions don’t seem to disappear just because time has passed or circumstances have changed. I’m trying to understand whether others have experienced this and what has genuinely helped them heal.

I don’t want to make this too long, but I’m struggling more than usual to explain what I’m experiencing. I have very intense panic attacks and, according to my husband, I cry in my sleep and talk about women i think he is seeing. My therapist believes these symptoms are the result of years of lying, betrayal, and emotional trauma. I don’t think my husband understands what just one lie can mean or the trauma from betrayal that shows up in my sleep.

I’m probably older than many people here, and I didn’t learn about narcissistic behaviors until I started therapy because I thought something was wrong with me. By the time I began to understand what had been happening, I had already lived through many years of it.

The reason I’m asking for help is that my husband is frustrated that the changes he has made have not led to more changes in my trauma responses. I don’t want to stay stuck, and I truly want to heal, but my panic attacks and emotional reactions don’t seem to disappear just because time has passed or circumstances have changed. I’m trying to understand whether others have experienced this and what has genuinely helped them heal.

I’m trying so hard to reinvent myself and not dwell on what he did to me or on the secrets he continues to keep. But the depression is winning. The panic attacks are getting stronger. I feel so lost.

I wish there were inpatient facilities specifically designed to help victims of narcissistic abuse. He tells me I’m safe, but he has never taken accountability for the affairs. I know I can’t wait for that anymore because it will never happen.

I don’t understand why I can’t move forward and build a life for myself. Loving a narcissist feels like a death sentence.