u/PAranetaCho87

I've been doing a lot of inner work and progressed to shadow work couple of weeks ago. I'm diagnosed BPD and have extreme abandonment and validation issues. I dedicated time to really confront every emotions and pain I am carrying in the background.

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I utilized my creativity to make things feel more natural to me. I have 3 separate journals, 1 of them are dedicated to writing just love letters to myself, highlighting evidence based reasons why I am trully loveable (as simple as cooking my own food and washing my own dishes).

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Since then, my brain now automatically sings instead of overthinking. I used to have problems sleeping, now my brain sings lullaby to me. And when I wake up, songs are playing as well. Unconsciously, I hum and whistle a lot more now with nothing in my mind. And it is such a relief from my usual brain pattern.

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When I write to myself now, I no longer have to think, it just flows of self-affirmation and adoration. I've built myself a playlist of love songs too and it's my brain's go to songs when my mind is "resting".

Hello to everyone. I'm a new member here but I have been diagnosed BPD about 10 years ago.

I did not get intense therapy for this because it is not accessible in our country, but I went to counceling and had generic therapy for not more than 5 sessions because it was a company benefit that was discontinued.

In spite of the inaccessibility, I got tired of the intense feeelings. I am always yearning, longing, desperate, hated myself, pitied myself, no ally, no friend, no "ideal" relationship. I realized I keep hurting myself, and I do not deserve this at all. Every year I have instances of really bad agrression and I feel bad and shame after. Instead of getting compassion and empathy which I badly craved, I get nasty comments and burned bridges. I thought I need to improve because I don't want to end up hurting the person I love.

Something happened to me this year that made me decide to cry and grieve. I became honest with myself, my shame, my desperation. I genuinely decided that I WILL help myself. I searched for worksheets, inner work, shadow work, etc.

Before this though, I already have evidence that I do take very good care of myself. I live alone, and I got through it all with just me. That evidence sort of helped me pull myself out of infinite misery.

I dedicated 2 weeks doing the same routine:

1. Journal (coping skills)

2. Journal (freestyle)

3. Sketch/paint with love letters to myself.

4. Practiced grounding skills

5. Build a playlist of love songs for myself & just keep adding

6. Continue to take good care of myself

7. Talk to my selves, I have buikt a ritual to connect with them

I learned to be okay with my situation. I learned to identify all my emotions, hold them and release. Eventually it all lead me to actually loving and accepting myself. And then I had visions of my different selves.

I have sketched and painted my child self, teenage self and recently, my destructive self. All of them, I accept, recognize and promise to integrate.

At present day, I have not felt abandonment of the same intensity, it rarely comes and when it does, it goes away quickly once I recognize it. I am surprised everytime I hum or sing mindlessly, this seem to replace the default anxiety and over vigilance I had.

I have a lot more to go and possibly need to look into professional help again for my mother wound because that one is very deep. But so far, I seem to have succeeded in creating new neuro pathways from abandonment to wholeness. I genuinely feel home.

At least for me, the evidence show that radical self-love, acceptance and devotion is what helped me.

Happy to answer any questions if you have them.

I just finished Dressrosa, and it's my second favorite arc after Water 7/Enies Lobby. It's so rewarding! And Doflamingo is an amazing villain.

I especially like Franky and Pink's battle, such a great ending and I've developed great respect for Franky now. The same respect I had with Sanji after the train rescue in Water 7.

PS: I don't mind spoilers, no need to worry about me. I like playing catch up. I still get anxious, despair and happy watching everything regardless of the spoilers so let me stay here :D

Hi, years ago I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, I went to a few counseling and therapy sessions that helped me in some ways.

I ended my 8 year relationship today, and I am preparing for the worst of griefs in the next weeks and months. I'd prefer some kind of support group than therapy for now. I don't really have any friends and I'm not close to family. Family is actually a very triggering topic for me.

Any leads? I'm okay with online or face-to-face.