AITAH for not wanting to babysit during Mothers Day weekend?
My husband (33M) and I (28F) have an 8-year-old son together. Through him, we became friends with another family who has two daughters, ages 8 and 5. We’ve all been friends for about three years now, and during that time we’ve regularly babysat each other’s kids whenever someone wanted a date night or just needed a break. It’s been a normal thing for all of us.
A few days ago, the husband texted my husband asking if we could watch their girls Saturday evening because he wanted to surprise his wife with concert tickets for Mother’s Day weekend. He said the concert would run late and they might not get back until around 2–3 AM.
My husband initially told him “probably” and said he’d check with me first. He then called me and casually asked what we were doing Saturday. I said “nothing,” and apparently he took that as a green light to immediately tell our friend yes. Then he called me back and explained the full situation.
After hearing everything, I said, “Watching additional children during Mother’s Day weekend is not exactly how I pictured spending my time.” My husband immediately got annoyed and said, “It’s not like you had anything planned. Besides, you were going to be around kids anyway.” (He said this because we were already taking our son to a birthday party earlier that day.)
He then doubled down and said Mother’s Day is technically Sunday anyway, so it shouldn’t matter that much, and “it’s just a day.”
That really hurt me because I do basically everything in our house: cooking, cleaning, most of the parenting for our son and our dog while also working full time. Mother’s Day is literally the ONE day where I hope for even a little appreciation. I don’t even usually get anything for Christmas or my birthday, and I’ve never made a huge deal about that, but this really pushed me over the edge.
What makes it worse is that whenever “we” babysit, it mostly falls on me. I’m the one entertaining the kids, making food, solving arguments, organizing games, etc. Meanwhile my husband usually disappears into the media room, shuts the door, and plays video games because he “doesn’t know how to help.”
Also, my son has ADHD and their older daughter has ADHD, and the last time we watched them they were bouncing off the walls until after 1 AM. I had a headache the entire next day. My son finally went to bed around 1, while their daughter was literally doing somersaults on our couch.
So I told my husband I didn’t want to babysit, especially not that late into the night. He responded by saying he’d already told our friend yes and that the concert tickets had already been purchased.
At that point I told him fine BUT when the girls get dropped off, I’ll be leaving. I said I’d go see a movie and find other things to do because if HE agreed to babysit without actually discussing it with me first, then HE could handle all the kids himself.
He called me childish, unreasonable, said I was “throwing a tantrum,” and told me I needed to “help him” watch the kids.
I stood my ground, bought myself a ticket to the new Mortal Kombat movie, and now we’re barely speaking (primarily on his part)
So… AITA for not wanting to babysit kids the night before Mother’s Day?