u/Parking-State6248

Hello! So I’m 19 soon to turn 20 and I’m wondering should I move out in the next few months or wait a few more years?.

Context - I live with my mom and sister I have my own bedroom but me and my sister share a bathroom. A few months ago me and sister had a conversation that sparked my desire to think about moving out. Me and my mother’s relationship is not great, most times we talk it’s arguments, we don’t see eye to eye. I am annoyed by her very presence. Growing up she was not the best parent and it has bled into my now life, granted she is MUCH less toxic than she used to be. But overall it is not the best environment to be in as it feeling suffocating and like I’m being treated like I’m 13 it’s an extremely suffocating situation she even treats my 25 year old sister like she’s still a kid and is overbearing with her and she has moved out years ago.

There are no decorations in the house, nothing that screams this is a home where people live. Just sad plain and cold look.

I began looking and taking tours of apartments with my sister after an incident happened with me and my mom as we planned to move out together, she hasn’t been ready yet which has constantly pushed me back on my desired move out time. I initially wanted to be moved out by June 2026 but since my sister wasn’t ready we agreed upon August which got pushed back again to December and now she isn’t gonna be ready till June 2027, which I cannot wait on.

She herself isn’t the cleanest person to live with, everything she eats wears or does lays around the house for days and it’s a mess, and the bathroom we share it is always messy and dirty and in my opinion trashy. She leaves her hair product every where her make up her clothes and I’m not super duper clean but I hate sharing that space because I hate a dirty bathroom and I clean up the bathroom more times than not even after her. And we also don’t get along very well either due to our childhood relationship and things that happened to us.

Now about me. I am in school and I have car insurance, phone bill and other small bills that usually add up to about $350 I pay a month and that’s it. Once I start school that’ll go up to about $650 a month. If you’re curious about savings I have about half a year of months rent saved up. I do have a job, and other ways I make income.

Am I rushing this or should i keep looking and pushing to move out soon! Thanks in advance

TL;DR
Should I move out of my okay family home environment I crave my own space and individuality and living here won’t provide that for me. I am a college student who pays for everything she has. So should I just plan to move in the next few months by myself or wait till I complete college. My OCD when it comes to my sisters cleanliness pushes me to say I gotta get out now including my off putting relationship with my mom. I don’t hate living here but I know I would be much happier leaving. I have a decent savings right now.

Hello! So I’m 19 soon to turn 20 and I’m wondering should I move out in the next few months or wait a few more years?.

Context - I live with my mom and sister I have my own bedroom but me and my sister share a bathroom. A few months ago me and sister had a conversation that sparked my desire to think about moving out. Me and my mother’s relationship is not great, most times we talk it’s arguments, we don’t see eye to eye. I am annoyed by her very presence. Growing up she was not the best parent and it has bled into my now life, granted she is MUCH less toxic than she used to be. But overall it is not the best environment to be in as it feeling suffocating and like I’m being treated like I’m 13 it’s an extremely suffocating situation she even treats my 25 year old sister like she’s still a kid and is overbearing with her and she has moved out years ago.

There are no decorations in the house, nothing that screams this is a home where people live. Just sad plain and cold look.

I began looking and taking tours of apartments with my sister after an incident happened with me and my mom as we planned to move out together, she hasn’t been ready yet which has constantly pushed me back on my desired move out time. I initially wanted to be moved out by June 2026 but since my sister wasn’t ready we agreed upon August which got pushed back again to December and now she isn’t gonna be ready till June 2027, which I cannot wait on.

She herself isn’t the cleanest person to live with, everything she eats wears or does lays around the house for days and it’s a mess, and the bathroom we share it is always messy and dirty and in my opinion trashy. She leaves her hair product every where her make up her clothes and I’m not super duper clean but I hate sharing that space because I hate a dirty bathroom and I clean up the bathroom more times than not even after her. And we also don’t get along very well either due to our childhood relationship and things that happened to us.

Now about me. I am in school and I have car insurance, phone bill and other small bills that usually add up to about $350 I pay a month and that’s it. Once I start school that’ll go up to about $650 a month. If you’re curious about savings I have about half a year of months rent saved up. I do have a job, and other ways I make income.

Am I rushing this or should i keep looking and pushing to move out soon! Thanks in advance

I 19 female have been dating my boyfriend who is 19 male 1 year and 3 months. Throughout the course of this some problems have risen specifically porn addiction, when we were about 3 months in the conversation came up and I mentioned to him I wasn’t comfortable with him watching that explicit content because it felt disrespectful to me and if you have someone physically present you shouldn’t seek out those on explicit platforms. After we talked that one day it was not brought up again until I went through his phone, and saw he had been watching that stuff (don’t quite remember why I did) to which we talked again and I really pressed how it made me upset and uncomfortable and how I didn’t like it. Let me preface I have too dealt with a porn addiction, well before I was in a relationship.

I was able to get away from it and rid of it through feeling immense shame on myself where I fully dropped it because the guilt and shame was too much to bear. Anyways, for about 3-4 months this was a constant issue, he would lie to me about watching it and doing stuff to it, he would hide it from me trying to delete it. Since we were together it WAS NOT where he was leaving to the bathroom for 30+ minutes or anything like that it would be more if we hadn’t had sexual intercourse in a while he would use it, since I was a virgin when we met I hadn’t had a strong desire for sex anyways. Let me also say I would send him explicit photos of myself and I would give him sexual attention. It wasn’t like he was without, I guess just not as often as he’d like. Back to the story. It continued the lying the hiding the not telling the truth and I would constantly go through his phone find it and blow up I would be upset I would cry scream fight everything because it was so disrespectful to me and the relationship and he knew that.

But because he had been dealing with this since it was 8 years old it was extremely difficult for him to let it go and understand why it wasn’t good for the relationship. We almost broke up 2 times because of this all within the first 6-8 months of our relationship. Moving ahead to month 7-12 everything was bliss there was no more porn no more onlyfans no more twitter nothing it was out of our lives and I was still a little unsure and uncertain but over time I began to feel more comfortable and trusting in him. Until our anniversary came around I fully expected a promise ring from him and that caused a lot of turmoil this was something he knew I wanted in the beginning of the relationship he knew how important it was to me. This was both our longest relationship and we both wanted to get married in our futures. So for a little bit we were fighting and there was more disconnect than usual, for about 3 weeks something had changed he was pulling away from me more.

He would keep telling me nothing was changing he still loved me and cared about me he wasn’t hiding anything and I felt like I was going crazy because I felt him pulling away being colder harsher and just not the same boyfriend I had a few months ago. I am not the best girlfriend I am mean sometimes my attitude it bad when I get overwhelmed and stressed I argue a lot and overall makes sense why he would be stressed out as he’s someone who does not like conflict at all. Until one night after a fight we were talking and we made up and I was telling him how proud I was of him for letting go of his poem and not letting that come in between us.

He then shatters that completely and tells me after he actually had watched porn several times during the time I felt the disconnect it broke my heart completely and days later we took a break we weren’t together we didn’t talk for about a week. Once the break was over we reconnected I was really excited and happy because I missed him then he told me he had did it over the break again his excuse it was out of confusion and frustration he felt lost. And it broke me again because I thought it would have been a great thing for us to just be away from each other no expectations no nothing a break we later ground rules we weren’t single we would still respect each other like we are together just not talking and a part of the respect was the porn he said it himself.

So fast forward we are at a steady point it’s getting better the trust is still broken but because I want to be with him and grow and I see the potential and I have my big flaws and bad things I would do like hold the relationship over his head, say I felt like it was cheating but I didn’t, say I was going to go text my exes and hangout with them everything to get under his skin to force him to change because if he loved me he would was my mindset. So we are doing better it’s happening still but not really and what I mean is he falls into the temptation but he stops himself and realizes it isn’t good and he doesn’t and shouldn’t do this and he would tell me. And it would frustrate me a lot because it got to multiple points where I would tell him if it happened again I was going to leave him but I never did because I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

So the other day I missed his calls and I called him back around 1-2am he doesn’t answer at first till he finally answers and I pressed him on why he didn’t answer if he was awake. He ends up telling me earlier that night he did the same thing started to watch porn and do stuff but stopped himself. And I felt deeply hurt because specifically these last 2 weeks we talked about what we needed and we both were giving each other what we were asking for we were communicating and hanging out planning dates having more sex like everything was there and he still went out and did this so I broke up with him. I wanted to be done dealing with it because it’s annoying and frustrating and my therapist says he’s not willing to move towards health and wellness but every time it happens he apologizes and it seem sincere and he changes for a while and then he does it again but this past month has been the first time it’s been happening since month 6-7 in our relationship so it’s hard

I don’t want to be done with him I love him he gives me everything I need this is the biggest issue in our relationship and I mean genuinely we have small fights about stupid stuff or how the other person said something and we communicate we make solutions and it’s solved he does so much acts of service he’s physically affectionate he’s verbally affectionate he always wants to see me he has a job a car he goes to the gym like he likes his own personal time like it’s great this is the only reason I’ve ever wanted to leave him. And it’s disappointing because i want him to change. But I know I can’t force him, but it’s extremely frustrating my therapist says I either have to come to radical acceptance that he’s not ready to change and that he may never or I need to leave and it just feels like a lose lose situation

What should I do?
Sorry in advance if this doesn’t make sense I tried to keep it short but give details also!