u/Particular-Doctor888

Hello neighbours,

Time for a deeper, more existential question about a character trait of older Irish people. Sorry for being a fun sponge – I'll try and be brief.

I'm a Brit with 100% Irish heritage, as is my partner. I've met a lot of relatives and obviously have a lot of Irish family.

Among boomers and older, I notice a particularly recurrent character trait that I'm unsure is generalisable, or unique to my family – namely a fear of speaking up or rocking the boat. Older Irish people I know are all anxious about complaining, drawing attention or risking confrontation. Lots of secrets. They fear sticking their head above the parapet or saying no. Obviously there's a few bolshy ones too, but I wonder whether there is something deeper in Irish society for this age group shaped by experiences of exile and racism, and the looming presence of the Catholic Church in the formative part of their lives.

Do you recognise what I'm getting at, or am I talking bollocks?

Cheers

Hi gang. Does anybody have the scoop on the UK Christmas concerts? Sounds like there's likely to be London, Manchester and Birmingham.

If anyone knows how to get pre-sale or has any idea of which dates the concerts are likely to be I would be very glad to hear. Thank you x

They posed this question on the radio and I wanted to canvass opinion. Obviously, most of us are resentful of the god-awful water companies for their role in this – underinvestment, inefficiency and shameless profiteering. Governments have also failed on water infrastructure.

Nonetheless, here we are. Are you doing anything to reduce your water usage?

NB: for absolute clarity, this is not a moralising post. I'm just curious.

Greetings. I hope you will entertain my question is a white person from Luton, a heavily Pakistani UK town. Naturally, I know a ton of British Pakistanis and a few OG ones. None from North America.

Here, I gather there are some internal tensions between Britpaks and those from "back home" when cultures collide, or there are allegations of one taking advantage of/mistreating the other. I'm being deliberately vague because I don't want to offend or stereotype but I can elaborate on my observations. Generally though, fascinated to know more how these 3 groups see each other. Are the American Pakistanis more enthusiastic about the US than the British ones are about Britain? Are the British ones more Pakistan facing in attitudes than the American/Canadian ones, because they are more established and more regularly marrying from "back home"? Or am I way off?

*Apologies for the boring question for most people*

KatKin, Untamed and many others like that bone marrow food are marketing their healthy cat food subscriptions hard. I've tried three of them, kitty won't touch it. Neither will the 5 cats in my extended family.

It's not that mine is used to cheap cereal based crap, he eats high-quality tin food but this subscription stuff is a no-no. Their reviews and social media comments are glowing. I'm sceptical so I wanted to ask you all.

Why should she?

I love going to holiday in France. I often wonder, passing through your county, what kind of connection you have with the place. Some historical, some modern. Maybe a mix of animosity and affiliation? You're the future of champagne now I hear.

But how many ordinary Kent people lead lives connected with the border? Feasibly, you could learn French and have an awesome time living in and out of France, perhaps importing things. Jobs with the shuttle/ferries. Curious, tell me more good people of Kent. Do curious French people end up walking around the streets of Folkestone on a day trip? What's the deal?

People just love any affiliation with "the ends". Any comedian from an E postcode can't shut up about coming from Hackney. It seems to define people to a ludicrous degree. Is it the shock value? Does it set up a neat rags to riches tail? Street cred? i'm from one of Britain's most hated rough towns and I can assure you there is nothing appealing about coming from the ends. It's very damaging to your life chances. I don't ever go back there and wish I could've left sooner.

This is an incredibly desperate and substance free article. Can you really just imply scandal and it become one?

Sorry don't know how to remove paywall TIA to anyone who can add a link.

Would like to hear from teachers, school staff and parents with first-hand knowledge preferentially, please.

Teachers/TA's I know are jaded about (in no particular order), child poverty, violent pupils, disengaged parents, surge in disruption, surge in special needs claims and diagnoses, lack of funding for basic materials and a significant drop in resilience of children post-pandemic. Not to mention children unable to read clocks or use knives and forks etc.

Is Educating Yorkshire accurate? I'm not here to shit on "kids today", but I admit some of that shocked me, especially the apparent endless attempts to coax disinterested kids back into the classroom all day long – Apparently at the expense of all the other students. There must be something positive?

Anyone else share a birthday with me? Do you think of yourself as Gemini or cancer? I always figured I was a Gemini because what could be more twin like than having two star signs. My name also means twin. It's a great birthday in the northern hemisphere, longest day 😊

Sort of like queer people with gaydar, can you tell if somebody else is autistic by the way content and style of their communication, mannerisms and so on? Thanks in advance!

Greetings friends. Thought I would write with my own experience in case it helps any of you. Includes physical disability as a factor – I'll try and be brief:

We've been together 20 years (didn't bother with marriage, no regrets about that). I always wanted kids, she was ambivalent but not firmly no. Spinal cord injury happened to me, and our lives changed with my paralysis – becoming less spontaneous, more stressful and with more strangers in our home (caregivers). On one hand, I could more easily see my life revolving around parenting and the home without the same trade-offs many of you consider in terms of independence. On the other, I was anxious about the prospect of parenting in a wheelchair – but hey, people do.

Aged 39, we underwent the emotionally draining, sad and lonely journey of unsuccessful IVF (5 rounds). It was hard on her physically, and we were faced with the additional moral question of egg donation in a country where 100% anonymity is the law. I asked in forums, read widely but nonetheless felt unable to do it in line with "best practice" (being upfront with the kid in this era of home DNA testing). This was one risk/compromise too far. We decided to be content with our aunt and uncle roles, and make the most of our comfortable DINKY status.

A few years later, I imagine how tired and stressed we would be with a kid, and how it would have left so little room for much else in life. I adore my nieces but I am so un-envious of my siblings. It was definitely the right choice for us. We can now spend much more time and resources investing in our own health, fitness, home, adventures and family relationships than we would otherwise have. Not to mention weekends of frivolous champagne drinking and luxurious amounts of sleep. My disability unfortunately takes up a lot of our lives, and I'm glad that we did not give up any more. It wouldn't have been "wrong", and I guess you will never know how the alternative path would go, but I'm glad we tried and grateful we are content with the outcome.

Feel free to ask any questions. All the best, guys.