u/Past-Commission-4022

First time mom to a 3 month old.

I just need an hour, maybe an hour and a half to fold laundry, but my baby freaks out after like 10 minutes in the bouncer or swing. I can baby wear him for a little bit longer, but he even gets frustrated with that because it puts him to sleep and he's fighting naps right now? What should I do? He actually is really happy when he looks at the ceiling from my bed. I think he likes looking at the shadows from the cieling fan. Can I just put him safely in the middle at the head of my bed and fold laundry at the foot of the bed? Is this okay for him or is it bad for him to lay down that much?

I do have people who have offered to help but they have kids of their own and live 30+ minutes away. I live with my in-laws and they might help but they work and I dont want to add to their plate more than I already do. Plus the other day when I first tried to fold laundry I was watching TV with the whole household. I was babywearing and my baby was asleep and I was obviously folding clothes and I would say I was obviously struggling and no one even offered to hold the baby.

Sorry if this is jumbled, it's late and I overthink things a bit too much.

First time mom to a 10 week old. I think I dont understand the TOG's or whatever. At the very least I dont trust them. Before I start sounding more paranoid than I deserve, let me provide some context.

I live in the southern U.S. so its about 90 degrees out. Currently we live with my in-laws and we're in a large room above a poorly insulated garage. The air conditioning can barely keep up with the weather outside. We have 3 fans running to keep it reasonably cool and it is around 72-70 degrees in our room.

The TOG guides I see say my baby should be able to sleep comfortably in long-sleeved footed onesies and a swaddle bag with a TOG rating less than 1. But when I put my baby in just a long-sleeved footed onesie and feel his neck and between his shoulder blades, he feels like he's far too warm. But I also worry that in a regular short-sleeved and a 0.2 TOG swaddle bag, he'll be way too cold.

I'm also confused because I've heard that its better for a baby to be warmer, but I've also heard the opposite. I just dont know how to make sense of things. Any advice or tips for making sure my baby is appropriately dressed for the temperature especially at night would be greatly appreciated.

I'm a first time mom to a lovely 2 week old, going on 3 week old. Everything is pretty standard, but i'm just a little concerned with how much my baby is sleeping during the day.

I havent been doing a good job at tracking it, but he just about sleeps through every other wake window he used to be awake for the previous week. He get fussy at night and stays awake, but upset during portions of the night. But the reason behind this is because I handle most of the night feedings and I'm worse at burping him then my husband.

He does occasionally sleep through feedings, but on our doctors advice we've continued waking him up for feedings during the day. And because my husband and I are a little nervous and our doctor gave us the okay, we wake him up if he goes 4 or 5 hours without a feed.

He's made back his birth weight and then some, he doesnt seem to have a fever or be in any pain, and we're changing the right amount of dirty/wet diapers.

Logically, I know there are many different reasons he could be sleeping this much. I've read that he could be going through growth spurts that tire him out. We've had a lot of storms recently and I've heard that babies can be affected by barometric pressure, that it makes them sleepy. I know they dont have the capabilities to regulate their sleep yet. The doctor isnt concerned. I am and my husband is, but we've always been nervous people even before having a baby.

Long story short, this is probably normal? Maybe I could take him out in the sun in the mornings to help? It's just been so warm and the weather has been so unpredictable lately.

After my 38 week induction failed i ended up having a c-section. My induction was horrible. The insertion of the cervidil or whatever its called was just awful and the cervical checks were terrible. I was in so much pain when my contractions started I couldnt do anything to calm down. The contractions were coming eratically. It felt like one long 12 hour contraction when the cervadil was in play. In the morning I ended up requesting a dose of narcotics so I could sleep. I slept for one hour before the meds wore off. They tried a different drug next, which also had to be inserted near the cervix. I was freaking out so much at the pain of that that a nurse found an applicator for a different medication and made it work for the one I needed. I am so incredibly grateful for her. At one point, while she was in charge of us, my babys heart rate dropped significantly enough during a contraction that she had ny husband help roll me over on to my side and they both kept telling me to breathe. She was kind of yelling, but reasonably so. Whatever that was ended up resolving.

That medication ended up working and in 4 hours I was 6 cms dialated, 90% effaced, but only down one station. I was then given an epidural and pitocin. When the epidural kicked in I felt so incredibly calmed. All my fears went away. It only took an hour after that for it to be time to push.

Apparently I couldnt feel my contractions and I wasnt pushing right. I kept telling them I was trying. They said they could tell and that I was doing a good job but I felt like I was annoying them. At around hour 2 of pushing they started turning down the epidural until I could feel the contractions. But the pain was too much and I could barely focus on what they were telling me to do. Anytime I felt pain I couldnt breathe right, and they kept telling me to breathe through the contractions.

My husband was trying to help but he didnt really know what to do. We took a birthing class and it didnt prepare us for this. It taught us about the logistics of giving birth, not how to give birth and what the physical aspect of it was like. I felt bad for him, he was just as scared as I was and even more helpless. I kept saying that I couldnt do it anymore, that I was so tired.

It was at this point I started crying and saying "no" anytime there was a contraction and they had to help move my legs to help me push because I was so tired and in so much pain. I dont know what they could have done, but they didnt do anything. I kept hitting the button on my IV for breakthrough pain but it almost never worked.

At the beginning of hour 4 they did another exam and it turns out the baby was actually 2 stages behind where they told us last. I think i got better at pushing during this hour but it still wasnt enough. At the end of the fourth hour of pushing they told me that the baby wasnt low enough they would be able to use anything to pull him lower, and that because of the risk of continued swelling to myself and the baby we needed to prepare for the posibility of a c-section.

I really tried, I don't know for how long. It felt like minutes but maybe it was longer. Then they got real and explained the risks of a c-section. And I said yes because I couldnt take the pain anymore and I felt like I couldnt do it since I already hadnt.

I had to wait for the anesthesiologist to come and give me a different series of consents for a different kind of epidural. A million minutes maybe. I also had to do other consent forms. And because my husband had to put our stuff on the cart and get dressed he couldnt support me. So I had no one to support me during these minutes. I felt like a failure and I still do. Even though I know it's not rational and I would never judge someone who went through this.

I'm still not convinced my epidural numbed me all the way. I felt both tests to see if i was numb a little and i think they just didnt have time to wait for me to be fully numb. I felt the incision and a few muscles. The rest was just pressure. The last cut to get my baby was just pressure but it did feel like a hot, sharp pressure.

Then my baby was born. And that was nice. I love him. I got given fentanyl and morphine so I didnt feel comfortable holding him just yet. My husband loved him dearly enough for the both of us. Being sewn up hurt a little bit on the edges but I tried to just ignored it. The drugs helped calm me down. And then I was wheeled away to the room where my baby and husband were and I got to hold and feed my baby.

The rest of the hospital stay was just broing and confusing. Every shift a different nurse gave us different advice or instruction. But now I'm home with my baby and trying to settle into motherhood and figure out my hormones and emotions about all this. I still feel disappointed in myself but I'm just trying not to focus on that.

36 weeks and some change along, first time mom. I currently see a regular OB and a perinatal specialist (I dont remember the regular word for that position right now).

My pregnancy is technically high risk because I had to have fetascopic surgery right at 16 weeks. Both providers were wanting to have an induction at 39 weeks because of the risks related to the surgery.

Now my baby is measuring big for his age. Well over 7 pounds, almost 8. I know that measuring the baby in the womb can be very hit or miss, so I would take the measurements with a grain of salt except my husband was 10 or 11 pounds and I was 9 pounds at birth. I know even with that there's still a margin of error on those measurements and my baby could be a perfectly normal size.

Even though I'm open to the idea of c-section, I want to try and avoid it at first unless it becomes necessary. Because of that, my history, and baby's size, the specialist told me they'll probably induce in the 38th week instead. But the regular OB (who would actually be in charge of the delivery) said we can decide whether we want to schedule the induction in the 38th or 39th week.

While I appreciate offering options might be helpful to give some parents control, I just wish they would tell us "better safe than sorry, we'll do the induction in the 38th week" or "we can wait a little bit, let's go with week 39".

And normally the specialist and the OB have been on the same page but it's just so confusing to me because the specialist made it seem like a done deal, week 38 definitely is gonna be it. But the OB is making it seem like it's more lackadasical and what not.

And I feel weird too because my husband and I dont really care but we probably should. I'm cautious enough I could see waiting to give baby an extra week to grow and develop, but also I'm so over pregnancy and really excited to meet my baby so I wouldnt mind him being here a week early. And my husband is kind of deffering to me on this which I get, but also adds pressure.

It got to the point where we looked up that old poem that's like "monday's child, fair of face" to try and make a decision.

And I have social anxiety. I know that next week, when we're getting the induction scheduled, if the scheduler asks a questions in a weird way or makes a comment that hits my brain wrong, I'll get triggered and say something counter to what I want, need, or mean in an effort to be a "people pleaser". But I feel weird asking my husband to ask time off work to come with me and keep me in check because he's our sole income right now and he doesnt get paid leave. I'll probably ask anyway and I just being a complainer right now.

I just have so many decisions to make and I feel so confused.

I am a first time mom, 36 weeks along. I'm hoping to be able to pump as well as breastfeed, but I'm wondering about the logistics of everything.

I live upstairs from my houses kitchen. I dont think I really have an option to get a mini-fridge or freezer because of my financial situation, though I'll admit I havent looked into it. There is a bathroom sink, but thats all we have for a running water upstairs.

Should I pump downstairs by the freezer and the kitchen sink? Should I pump upstairs and have my husband bring it downstairs? Should we just prepare for going downstairs to feed the baby every 2-3 hours? Should I try and stretch my finances a little bit to get a fridge upstairs?

What would y'all do in my situation?

I was pregnant with twins, but lost Baby B at 16 weeks. I'm now 34 weeks pregnant and I'm trying to prepare for birth. I'm given to understand Baby B passed away after the point he would have been absorbed back into the womb, so I'll still have to give birth to him.

I know logically he's been dead for too long to be fully intact and that it would not be good for me to see him or hold him. But I feel like without that contact I wont be able to grieve properly, like I wont have closure. I also feel terrible that I cant make myself give my son a real goodbye and that he deserves one. I feel like a bad mom.

I also feel bad that he's too small for clothes. I have a blanket I was making him that I hope they can wrap him in, but the idea that he'll be cold and uncovered once he leaves me and I cant fix it is just awful.

What if the nurses and doctors think he's too small to be treated with dignity? What if they cant cremate him and just dispose of him? I cant have my baby be disposed of. I dont know who to ask about this. Should I call labor and delivery at the hospital I plan on delivering at to ask?

I'm 31 weeks along. I've posted before about how I have a lot going on with my pregnancy.

• I started off as a twin pregnancy. I still have 2 bodies in me but only one is still living.
• I have mental health conditions I cant take medication for during pregnancy or breastfeeding, including anxiety and ADHD
• My job put my on leave against my will. I do know this is illegal and that firing me for reporting it would also be illegal, i'm just figuring out how to keep my insurance until the baby comes and then I'll report it.
• I'm living with my in-laws and my husbands siblings are coming home from college soon and will be here when the baby comes. My in-laws are helpful, kind, and supportive but when we get cooped up together we but heads.
• I dont have a great relationship with my parents, especially my mom. I've always felt a distance between us. My parents had to had to get married when they got pregnant with my older sibling, so I think they werent ready and didnt always handle that well.

I've always heard and always felt that when you hold your baby for the first time, it changes everything. When I found out I was expecting it was almost like I felt my capacity for love quadruple. But what if they hand me my baby and everything catches up with me and nothing changes? What if I keep my baby at that same distance my mother kept me?

My mom didnt ask how I was doing or say anything to me for the first 16 weeks of my pregnancy. Not even just to chat. But when she gave me a gift at my baby shower, there was a onesie in their from when her and my dad took a trip during that time. I dont want to doom my son to wait and look for signs that I love him. I question all the time if my mom loves me and if she does why is she so far away and I cant live with doing the same thing to my son.

Affirmation:

Love is a feeling (uncontrollable), love is work (attainable), love is a choice (sustainable).

I feel overwhelmed. I have so many things I have to get done and I just feel so isolated.

My husband and I are living with our in-laws because of weird financial stuff and right when we started saving for moving to a new place we found out I was pregnant. Then there was some tragedy and i became high risk. Then my work forced me into unpaid leave at 18 weeks (which I am working on).

I was going into this with a weird relstionship with my parents that affects how I view becoming a mother. I have an anxiety disorder, ADHD, and a history of trauma none of which I can be medicated for due to pregnancy (I only tolerate certain meds).

We dont have enough room in our storage unit to make space for the baby stuff we need. Our room is a mess.

My husbands siblings will be moving back from college for the summer in a week or so and theyre nice and helpful but they also take up space, get on my nerves, and dont always remember to clean the damn toilet seat.

I just want to be happy and I want my room to be clean but I am the only one who can clean it and I can only stand for half of every hour. I want to blame this on being tired and being pregnant but I was like this before. I'm always leaving a mess and i want to just trash everything I own because like everyone reminds me, its not like I'll have time to crochet or sew when the baby comes, right? I should just throw it away!